September 2, 2003

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Communication problems

I talked to 1 today because he and 2 aren’t getting along very
well and I feel that something must be done.

He said that he had taken a part-time job. He also said that 3
pressed 1 for details, but he didn’t want to say where he worked.
(This may have been a good move, as after all, 2 seem to be under
the impression that 1 name-drops a little too much.)

The reason 1 gave for not wanting to say where 1 worked, however,
was the “crab mentality” of other people, and that he didn’t want to
say until “the air was clear” (memory fuzzy). I noted that that
statement could be taken to imply that 3 had “crab mentality”, and

1. confirmed that that was what he meant.

I was concerned about that. I did not agree that these
miscommunications are the product of “crab mentality”. I said that the
way we act toward others shapes the way they act toward us, and
personally, I find the department very supportive. I find it hard to
believe that 3 has crab mentality, as 3 has accomplished much on
his own, actively helps other people learn, and has no need to put
other people down in order to raise himself.

(Note to self: must ask 4 for the transcript)

I suspect that he1 needs to think about what he implies.

More thoughts about it sometime. I should probably send him a summary
of points to confirm/deny/elaborate.

More about life, the universe, and everything

Jerome seems to have been rather busy. He was here just yesterday,
(errata: Saturday, it turns out, so things aren’t that bad) and if I
had not joined the other teachers at The Grind, I might have met him.
I usually eat at Eyrie by myself, anyway.

I suppose it’s for the best. If I were there, it would have been
somewhat awkward. They planned to review, after all. It would probably
be hard for them to leave me eating alone, and it would be hard for me
to eat alone, but…

Sometimes I don’t like being on the JITSE board. What did I do? I just
submitted a short list of questions, and that was it. Nothing else
from them, nothing else from me. I don’t even feel very much like a
board member. I’ve lost an opportunity to study with friends and test
myself in friendly competition. (Darn it! Next time, I’ll probably
turn them down. ;) )

I know that this is wise. I might want to be more a part of his life,
but I know that the way things are now is for the best. I did have fun
last night. I learned a little bit about playing the guitar. But
still… I read about his life and I miss him. I know why he didn’t
get in touch with me, and I’m happy that he’s getting to meet other
people. He started mixing with his old batchmates – he’s certainly not
the introvert he thought he used to be. So – voice of reason – this is

Yes, this is good. Part of me might not like it, but it’s good, and I
won’t get in his way. I shouldn’t dwell on it or feel bad. I should
continue living, learning, and having fun. That way, when we reconnect
– if we will, if it’ll still be all right – I’ll have stories to share
and lessons to pass on. I need to remember that.

(Errata: Apparently, they were there on Saturday. I suppose that’s
somewhat better, but still… <mildly put out> ;) )