Reflections

I haven't been blogging lately. Things have been a bit confusing, but I'm glad that I'm starting to sort things out. I'm looking forward to the weekend. I plan to spend at least a day blissing out near some lakeside park armed with a journal and my Moleskine, reflecting on some knotty things. Then it's back to cramming my reading paper...

One of those knotty things hasn't really been mentioned in my blog, aside from oblique references to forks (metaphorical) and onions (literal). A friend reminded me that a lot of people care about what's going on in my life, though, so even though I try not to bore you with all the details of my almost-always-sunny life, here's one of the clouds.

For practical reasons, Dominique and I have decided to no longer be in an exclusive relationship. I still hold the greatest respect for him and I hope it'll work out in the future, but the timing sucks, and there's nothing we can do about it.

I've learned that life is so much better when I'm in a good relationship, or at least among good friends. I'm in no rush to get into a crappy relationship, though. Having tasted what a wonderful, wonderful thing love is, I won't lower my standards.

So what happens now?

Well, life goes on. My reading paper is due next week. My research proceeds. My friends and family are there for me. Life goes on, and spring brings the sun back.

In terms of people? I don't know. I really don't know. I don't have a good idea of my future yet, so courtship is out of the question. I'm not into dating for the sake of dating, and I'm accustomed to more affection and love than most people know.

Perhaps this is a good opportunity, then, to shower that affection and love on my friends. I am free, and I choose to remain free so that I can be where I am needed and wanted, and where _I_ need and want to be.

When I miss the feeling of being very, very special to someone, I can hug my stuffed toys and remember that I am at least a little bit special to at least a few people.

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