January 6, 2007

Bulk view


One of the little joys of being home is spending time with my cat,
whom no one else loves, but stays in our house (despite my cat’s
furniture-scratching) because my mother loves me.

She comes when I call her, even though I’m not the one feeding
her. She tries hard to pretend that she isn’t following me around: she
walks just a little bit ahead, but turns around, confused, if I change
paths. She jumps into my bed at night and curls up beside or on top of
me. Cats being clean creatures, if she needs to be let out to use the
kitty litter, she pats and meows to wake me up.

She’s scrawny, but she has a certain something about her – a quiet,
intelligent, but tentative air. Elegance.

One of the reasons why I’m looking forward to finishing my thesis is
so that I can move into a pet-friendly apartment and bring her in. So
much effort for a stray cat of no fancy pedigree! But she is my cat,
and like the fox and the Little Prince, I am both tamer and tamed.

Random Emacs symbol: mail-extr-disable-voodoo – Variable: *If it is a regexp, names matching it will never be modified.

On hold

You think that of all people, Simon and I would be able to find some
way to talk for free (or as nearly free as possible). He’s a telecoms
geek who regularly talks to an outsourcing company based in the
Philippines. I’m a social computing geek who occasionally talked to my
mom while I was in Canada. But we can’t seem to get things to work,
and the unreliability of my Net access is starting to get to me.

I miss him. I find myself with stories to share, but unable to
tell them because of the time difference and communication
difficulties. He doesn’t blog, so I don’t know what’s going on over
there. E-mail gets buried under the mess of our inboxes.

Would it be better to stop fighting the limitations of technology, and
even savor the distance? I bought a complete set of beautiful,
evocative cards: a series of traditional Filipino silhouettes. Maybe
we can even celebrate the distance. It will be something to remember,
for sure.

My worlds are split, and I can’t live well if I keep feeling
mis-placed. I need to learn how to make the most of my time wherever I
am, and not think of what is outside my reach…

Random Emacs symbol: gnus-article-strip-all-blank-lines – Command: Strip all blank lines.

You know, things aren’t so bad

There are lots of positive things to focus on. =)

I just have to have faith that if I keep learning and keep moving,
I’ll somehow get it all together in time…

And that’ll feel good, for sure.

Random Emacs symbol: decrease-left-margin – Command: Make the left margin of the region smaller.

All that is precious

If I listen to the quiet stirrings of my heart, to the restlessness
that prevents me from spending days here like days there, I find the
things I can’t take with me: the way my mother feels, fragile and
strong, when I give her a hug; the glee and tension that underlie my
father’s stories; the lightness of my cat as she bounces up, her
weight as she settles in; the laughter and sorrow of friends over the
things we do not write; the people who have known me forever.

All these I have missed and will miss again. But seeing them, at least
I can try not to miss them while I’m here.

Random Emacs symbol: gnus-article-strip-all-blank-lines – Command: Strip all blank lines.