Bonnie Jacobson, PhD., with Alexia Paul
2010 Adams Media, Avon, Massachusetts
ISBN 13: 978-1-60550-625-8
The book consists of short chapters that explore common conflicts and positive approaches in committed relationships. Each chapter includes one or two case studies, ways to recognize the conflict, and tips for resolving the conflict. This book is a good read for couples who are beginning to find themselves ensnared in repeating conflict patterns because they can identify and get tips for their situation. Couples who are starting out may also find it useful as a way to recognize potential conflicts before they become established.
- Flexibility
| Responsive |
Reactive |
| Good judgment |
Critical judgment |
| Expressing your true self |
Conforming to a role |
| Autonomy |
Isolation |
| Surrender |
Submission |
| Establishing space |
Neglect |
| Patience |
Passivity |
| Benign boundaries |
Emotional tyranny |
| Awareness of limits |
Emotional recklessness |
| Embracing change |
Preserving the status quo |
- Communication
| Taking responsibility |
Blame |
| Needs |
Wants |
| Detach |
Withdraw |
| Speaking up |
Silence |
| Giving the benefit of the doubt |
Making assumptions |
| Intimate listening |
Hearing |
| Influence |
Control |
| Constructive criticism |
Destructive criticism |
- Personal power
| Deciding |
Craving |
| Fighting fair |
Fighting unfair |
| Support |
Protection |
| Forgiving |
Forgetting |
| Good selfish |
Bad selfish |
| Family loyalty |
Self-interest |
| Joy |
Happiness |