sacha chua :: living an awesome life » networking

It’s okay if you can’t remember or spell my name; being human

Sacha Chua — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 12:00:00 +0000

Lifehacker had a recent post with tips on how to remember people’s names – generally useful tips, ground well-covered in networking books. There is one tip I disagree with, though. I realized I don’t often hear disagreement about it, so I thought I’d share. Here’s the tip:

DON’T ever call people by the wrong name

Hearing your name mispronounced can be annoying but forgivable, especially if lots of people find your name hard to pronounce, but hearing someone call you by the wrong name is always infuriating! Out of all facts that someone can possibly misremember about you (e.g., your job, college major, or ethnicity), getting your name wrong is the ultimate insult. It simply leaves a yucky visceral impression that the other person doesn’t give a damn about you.

I disagree with this tip because I think it creates unnecessary fear, anxiety, and expectation. I think there’s a better way to do this.

Let’s look at it from both sides.

If someone has forgotten your name, you could get mad about it… or you could just shrug it off and give the person the benefit of the doubt. If they consistently get your name wrong, you could bear a grudge, or you could laugh about the possible crossed wires (maybe you really remind them of their great-aunt!). If they sneer while mangling your name so much it sounds like an epithet, something might be up. But in general, people are good people, and they’re not trying to insult you or say that you’re worthless.

When I talk to people, I don’t assume that I’m important to them, or that they should devote precious brainspace to remembering me. If people make an effort and get my name wrong anyway, I’ll still appreciate that. They’re human.

Let’s look at the other side. If you’ve forgotten someone’s name despite your best efforts, go ahead and ‘fess up, or try to see if you can pick it up from the conversation (or from a networking buddy). I prefer the direct confession route over the awkward-standing-around route. It gets the pain over faster, and it makes more of a human connection. I try to make up for any name shortcomings by remembering other little details about people, focusing on creating value, and connecting people with other people.

And if I thought I knew someone’s name but it turns out I was mistaken, well, it happens. I’ll try to remember. Some people’s faces get mixed up in my memory. I’m not going to beat myself up over it, and I hope other people don’t feel permanently offended. (Besides, if they did hold a grudge, that says more about them than about me…)

My only pet peeve when it comes to this, actually, are people who punish you for not knowing their name, those who make you guess or otherwise embarrass you when they detect the faintest whiff of uncertainty from you about who they are. Not cool. People who do that might “score points” in that conversation, but they lose the long-term game. (I remember writing a post about this before this other one, but I can’t find it. Ah well, probably not good to rant too much anyway… =) )

So.

Make it easier for other people to remember your name. (I usually bring my own nametag to events.) Make an effort to remember and use other people’s names, and to remember other details about them. Above all, be human, and let other people be human.

Keeping in touch with diffuse networks

Sacha Chua — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 12:00:00 +0000

SCHEDULED: 2010-08-25 Wed 08:00

Soha wrote:

I’m a long time reader of your blog and I must say it’s pretty amazing and inspiring. I always look forward to your next post and read it over and over for tips and ideas

But there was one thing that I’m not sure if you’ve covered in the past .. It’s about keeping in touch with your networks and freinds

I’m really having a hard time with this issue.. Particularly how to stay in touch.. What do to and what to say and how often… Etc.. Is there a system that u tried that works for u? Or a schedule that You follow to keep yourself on track?

And what about freinds ?? Do u apply the same approach as with your networks or do u so something else ??

Hope I didn’t ask too many questions but any help with this matter would be greatly appreciated

I rarely e-mail or call people just to catch up. I occasionally look for experiences I can share with friends, and I host get-togethers from time to time. I like checking out people’s social networking updates from time to time, and I comment when I’ve got something to share.

I mostly reach out to people when:

I’ve come across something that they might find useful
I can answer one of their questions or help them out with something
I can connect them with someone who has a question they can answer

More about the tools I use to connect

This mostly-passive networking style doesn’t fit the advice of most networking books, which focus on techniques for active networking: making lists of contacts you want to make, cultivating relationships through coffees and lunches, working those network events.

But this works for me.

Part of this might be because I let go of the need to be in close touch with specific people, and I open things up to serendipity instead. I don’t have to stress out about not being in close touch with my friends. I still feel warm and fuzzy about people even if I haven’t seen them in a year, and I hope they feel the same too.

Besides, it’s easy for people to keep in touch with me. I write about life on my blog, and I occasionally post social network updates on Twitter, which is synchronized with Facebook and LinkedIn.

Back to diffuse networks. Clouds, if you will.

There’s an oft-quoted limit to social relationships: Dunbar’s number, some 150 people in your “village”, the maximum number of people most people can keep track of, with their interrelationships and quirks. I don’t try.

I want to touch the lives of many more people than I can know, just as I learn from many more people than I can meet. People drift in and out whenever they want. I try to remember as much as I can about people, but it’s okay to re-learn and re-discover.

How do you keep in touch with people? Or perhaps, a different question: How do you cultivate serendipity?

2010-08-23 Mon 20:09

Note-taking revisited

Sacha Chua — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 14:27:32 +0000

I was away for training last week, attending a 3-day learning session organized by IBM. There were around 500 IBMers there. My manager not only suggested that I go, he even gave me a lift. I resolved to make the most of it.

Packing light meant taking my work laptop, leaving my netbook, and bringing a small paper notebook along as a backup for note-taking. I like taking notes. I’d rather slow down and take notes than waste the time and the opportunity by forgetting.

In 2006, I wrote about how taking notes during conversations helps with post-event connection. What’s changed in the last four years? I now take casual notes on my iPod Touch. I’ve been thinking about getting a tablet PC for better note-taking. But for fast-flowing conversations, I still return to paper.

I’ve rediscovered drawing. My notes are punctuated by doodles: quick sketches of presenters, random objects that suggest themselves to a wandering right-brain. I like drawing. It helps me remember what a session felt like, instead of just what it contained.

I no longer bring fountain pens, as they’re all too easy to drop. Instead, I use a fine-point gel pen, which is clearer than pencils when it comes to scanning or review, and which writes more smoothly than a ballpoint pen does. I use a multi-colour ballpoint pen for review and emphasis.

My workflow has improved. While taking notes, I mark action items with a square on the left, particularly interesting topics with a star, ideas with a lightbulb, and thoughts and reflections with a thoughtcloud. This makes it easy to skim my notes for action items during review.

Instead of trying to hold the notebook open as I type thoughts in, I scan new pages at 600dpi full colour. This gives me a digital backup that I can flip through on my computer while I type my notes on a separate screen. As I type, I copy my action items into a separate section. After I finish writing my notes, I review the action items and import them into my task manager.

How can I make this even better?

I can write more neatly. This means slowing down in the beginning, but it will save me time when skimming or reading my notes. (And if I do it really well, maybe Evernote can understand my handwriting!)

I can try using a pad and then scan sheets using the automatic document feeder. Our printer/scanner’s automatic document feeder scans only one side, but I can simply do two passes. This would reduce scanning time.

I can save up for a tablet and see if that works out better for note-taking. I like being able to draw diagrams and icons while taking notes, so it would be good to experiment with a Tablet PC.

Reflecting on introductions

Sacha Chua — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 12:00:00 +0000

SCHEDULED: 2010-07-31 Sat 08:00

Introductions. I’m thinking about this because I feel odd when Judy Gombita (@jgombita) enthusiastically introduces me as a tech evangelist rock star, and I need to tease out where that comes from.

I recognize her introduction as a gift, and I appreciate it. Where does this reticence come from?

One-up

Part of it, I think, is not wanting to be lumped in with self-proclaimed experts. It seems you can’t throw a link without hitting a social media guru these days. While it’s great that people are excited about this and are working on helping businesses and people learn, I don’t know if we know enough about social media to be experts in it yet.

Relatively, maybe. There are people whom you can help, even if you’re just starting out. You don’t have to be an expert to help. You don’t even need to be an expert for people to find you. (It’s like fame. If you have to say you’re famous, you aren’t. If you’re famous, you don’t have to say it.)

There’s so much mystique about “expertise”–or “eminence”, another term that comes up at IBM often these days. I feel a little weird about it, even though I’m currently working on an expertise location initiative. (I think of it as about finding people. That helps.)

Expert, rockstar, guru, maven, and all of these other “one-up” nouns make me feel odd. I’ve always had a problem with articles listing me as “self-proclaimed geek”, despite the fact that I’ve got “geek” on my card, website, and e-mail signature. If we have to qualify the word “geek”, I’d rather use “self-confessed.” A minor tweak.

In the past, I’ve kidded about “domestic goddesshood” and being a “geek goddess”, but always as a joke.

I like being on the same level as people. It’s hard enough helping people believe that they could write/blog/bookmark/participate in communities/program/draw/follow their passions. It’s almost impossible if they think, “Oh, that’s very well and good for you because you’re you, but I could never do it.”

I remember when I was teaching university freshmen the joy of programming. Some were intimidated by the way I could read a program upside down and ask questions to help them debug it. I told them that was because I had spent a lot of time struggling with my own bugs and reading textbooks I didn’t quite understand. (I didn’t tell them that I started reading those textbooks in grade school, borrowing them off my sister’s shelves.)

Is this a gendered thing, the way women are taught to fold their hands and shrink into themselves while men are encouraged to boast of their achievements? But I wasn’t brought up that way, and I know many male role models who are competent and humble.

Nouns and verbs

Another thought that came up in the conversation with Judy: nouns versus verbs.

I don’t want to be known as a tech evangelist, rock star, or a social media guru. Nouns. Hype. (Where does the conversation go from there?)

I’d rather people focused on how I can help others. “Oh, you want to get started in blogging? Talk to Sacha, she might have tips.”

Not an expert. A co-learner. A co-adventurer.

Which makes me think that it might be good to experiment with my cards, because most of the time, “Evangelist” grabs people’s attention and then they focus on that, and there’s something missing. I like my e-mail signature better. The last line is: “My passion is helping people connect and collaborate. How can I help you make things happen?”

It also reminds me of why I like blogging and presenting. There are no introductions – or if there’s a bio, it’s brief. It’s having all these half-conversations open, inviting you to jump in without the awkwardness of the start.

Introductions

I think of how people come together in my tea parties. A small group, manageable. One or two conversations going on at a time. There are brief introductions: names, sometimes stories. But I don’t really introduce people. Instead, we jump into the middle of conversations.

My favourite connecting tool is the question. The more I know about people’s interests, the more I can ask questions that draw out those connections in larger conversation. I like listening to what people are talking about and connecting that to what other people can share. It’s okay to be quiet, too.

I do introduce people, from time to time. When we’re standing around at a crowded event and someone clearly wants to join the circle. When we’re having a conversation and something comes up that’s relevant to someone across the room whom my conversation partner hasn’t met.

Most of the time, I whiz past the introduction and head straight into common interests, shared issues, or some kind of understanding that we can build through conversation. Details and competencies and networking needs can emerge through the conversation. When I remember, I use people’s names often so that other people can remember their names.

One approach among many. I like it, though. It would be interesting to experiment with other ways to help people connect: let people do the normal introduction and small talk routine? elevator pitches?

But it’s fun skipping the titles and focusing on what people want to talk about. =)

Haven’t figured this out yet. There’s more to understand in here, somewhere. Here’s what I understand a little more clearly now:

I don’t like one-up nouns or titles because they create distance and risk backlash.
I like skipping introductions and jumping into the middle of a conversation. My preferences influence the ways I help people connect.
Might be fun to experiment: change my card, tinker with introductions…
2010-07-29 Thu 09:05

Networking events

Sacha Chua — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 12:00:00 +0000

It’s my birthday, yay! (Happy birthday, Mom!) But I’m away at training, so the annual review + sketches will have to wait for the weekend. In the meantime, here’s something I was thinking about the other day…

SCHEDULED: 2010-08-02 Mon 08:00

I confess: I don’t go to “networking events” to meet people.

I go to eavesdrop on interesting conversations. I go to share and pick up tips and ideas. I go to practice avoiding the name/rank/serial number conversations (and in my small way, perhaps show people there is an alternative). I go to have fun connecting the dots. I go to work on remembering names and little details.

I’m not there to find a new job. I have an awesome one. I’m not there to find new friends. If the seeds of friendships are planted there, terrific. The real work happens outside the event, after all.

I’m there to learn from the conversations that people have with people other than me. It’s one of the reasons why I like having a group of friends over instead of talking to them one-on-one. Other people bring out different aspects of people that I wouldn’t see on my own.

What do I hope for? I hope that I can collapse the distance between people. I hope that I can share people and ideas and resources outside the event. I hope that a chance conversation might turn into a weak tie, and a month or several years down the road, into another connect-the-dots experience, another aha!, or another friendship.

So I seldom go to or organize networking events per se. I like going to events with a bigger purpose. DemoCamp, with its promise of interesting startups and ideas. Tea, an excuse for me to prepare treats and create a space for conversation. Conferences. IBM speed mentoring events in Second Life. (Yes, we have them, and they’re lots of fun.) Your typical stand-up-and-meet-people? Sometimes they’re the starting point of interesting conversations and reflections, like the ones I had with Neal Schaffer around sharing and with Judy Gombita about introductions. Sometimes they require lots of digging to get past the surface conversations.

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve crossed some kind of tipping point, where the scale effects of the Internet tend to work more for me than the hallway conversations and chance connections of real-life events. (Are search engine results like those serendipitous encounters, except longer-lasting?) I prefer writing and commenting and tweeting over speaking over the din; we reach more people, blossom into more conversations. I could be missing out on subtleties, which is why I go to events from time to time–to see and experience and reflect. But the world stretches before us, and why limit myself to this corner when we could enable aha!s all over?

/Thanks to Dennie Theodore for blogging about large events and nudging me to think about them!/

2010-07-30 Fri 07:40

Finding opportunities in a big company

Sacha Chua — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 12:00:00 +0000

DEADLINE: 2010-07-30 Fri 08:00

The Extreme Blue interns are wrapping up and starting their job searches, so Cate Huston asked me to share some tips.

One of the wonderful and intimidating things about being in a big company is that there’s such a variety of opportunities. How do you find the right one for you? I hope these tips will help people at IBM, and they might be useful for people in other big companies too.

Figure out what you’re interested in. Browse through open job posts. Talk to interesting people about what they do and listen for words that resonate with you. Explain what you’re interested in to mentors and ask them to help you translate and connect. (IBM: Follow the “Global Opportunity Marketplace” link on w3.ibm.com to see open job posts.)

Talk to people doing that kind of work. People are often generous with their time and insights, perhaps because they’ve received that kind of help in the past. Don’t be afraid to reach out to people and ask them for short interest interviews. Ask them what a typical day is like for them, what they like about their work, what they would like to change about their work, and what skills and characteristics would make someone a great candidate for that position. If you’ve got specific posts in mind, reach out to people on the team to see what things are like and if it might be a good fit.

Make it easy to keep in touch. You’ll meet a lot of people during your blog search. Make it easy for them to find out about you and keep in touch. Invest time into preparing a clear description of what you’re interested in and a resume highlighting relevant accomplishments, and link to it in your e-mail signature. If you blog, include a link to that in your e-mail signature as well. Subscribe to other people’s blogs to learn more about them and about other parts of the company.

If you give people enough time, they might even be able to create an opportunity for you. It takes a while to get clearance to create a new position, but if you impress the right manager, maybe he or she will create a role that makes the most of your passion and skills.

Be prepared for complications. Sometimes these things take longer than expected. Sometimes you run into odd paperwork needs. Hang in there, and have backup plans.

What’s different about searching for opportunities in a big company?

You can talk more openly about what you’re looking for and what you’re learning.
You’re surrounded by many potential mentors and contacts.
You can look people up easily.
Your previous supervisor will talk to your future supervisor probably quite frequently.
You can work out your transition plan with your previous supervisor and your future supervisor, instead of keeping it hush-hush.

Reflections from a tweetup

Sacha Chua — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 12:00:00 +0000

Although I like spending most evenings at home, I can occasionally be tempted out for a tweetup (at most once a week, to give myself time to recharge and follow up). Thursday night, I joined Judy Gombita, Neal Schaffer, and other folks at Crafted (135 Ossington) for yummy chocolate and conversation.

Isaac Ezer once told me that he goes to events to practice small talk. Even if none of the conversations bear fruit, he learns something from the practice. I like the way he thinks. It’s like the way I encourage beginners to think about social media. Focus on the immediate personal benefit, and let the social benefits be icing on the cake. You can’t make people comment on your blog, and you can’t force people to connect well with you in a five-minute conversation, but you can learn a lot in the process of reaching out. (More about asymmetric connection: Exercising my network)

The funny thing is that letting go of expectations makes it easier to connect. And that conversations turn out to be remarkably fascinating anyway. More about this if those conversations grow.

Networking tips

It turns out that talking to other people not only helps you learn what they know, but what you know as well. example, here are a few things that I apparently do well:

Having a card with a photo on it: Internet opinions differ on whether or not

you should put a photo on your business card, but people I’ve met in real life have almost always expressed appreciation for little things to help them jog their memory.

Bringing my own nametag to an event, and pinning it on the right side: Yes, there is a correct side for nametags. See my braindump of conference networking tips for explanations and more advice.
Giving people an excuse to start a conversation: Sometimes it’s

what I’m wearing – a hat, or ethnic touches in my outfit (in this case, a malong from the Philippines, worn as a skirt). Sometimes it’s my nametag, or the keywords on it. Whatever gets us past weather-talk.

Asking interesting questions: Instead of asking people what they

do, ask them what they’re passionate about, or some other non-traditional question. It helps people break out of autopilot and gives them a chance to talk about something that excites them. If someone asks you what you do, turn the question into something you’re excited about, too.

Sharing: Many people struggle with finding the time to write or

the courage to share online. Something about my perspective helps me shortcircuit that, becoming comfortable with thinking out loud. Must figure out what that is and how to share it.

Things to try at your next get-together.

I suspect I’m also getting the hang of remembering names, at least within a limited context and timespan. This is good. When you stop telling yourself that you’re bad at names and you start just having fun remembering them, you have fun remembering them.

Tweetups are particularly interesting because there’s an inherent promise of a low-effort way to follow up with and learn more about people you meet. It’s not like a networking event at which you might be lucky to make a connection deep enough to sustain e-mail exchanges or coffee get-togethers. Because Twitter doesn’t require reciprocity to follow someone’s updates, you can keep up with interesting people and let the connection develop slowly. It also provides an easy way to connect with people you might not have had a chance to talk to during the actual event.

About introductions

Judy Gombita was probably so excited about The Shy Connector presentation. She kept introducing me as the famous Sacha Chua. This made me think about how I like being introduced. =)

“Famous” creates too much distance for me. First, it’s untrue–or at least as I pointed out, I can’t be famous if people haven’t heard of me. The corollary is that if I were actually famous, I wouldn’t need to be introduced. Although there’s Internet-famous, when people know your name or your thing but may not necessarily know what you look like.

The main reason I don’t like “being famous”, though, is because it draws lines: people who are in the know, and people who don’t. You know the weird feeling you get when people make you guess their name because you’re already supposed to know them? (One of my pet peeves.) Right. If someone’s supposed to be famous and you don’t know them, it’s hard to avoid feeling a little bit excluded, a little bit out of it. Like an in-joke that everyone else gets but you.

I have the same odd feeling about how my team members still occasionally introduce me as “one of the most followed bloggers at IBM”, even though (a) there have been many more interesting and popular bloggers since then, (b) the stats are fuzzy, and (c) it’s not about an A-list anyway. Although I suppose people like introducing people based on fame for the same reason people are fascinated by close touches with celebrities – there’s reflected cachet. To which I reply that you don’t need to hang out with rockstars to be a rockstar. =)

Distance. You can inspire people from a distance, but I’d rather be someone people can identify with. Distance gives people an excuse to stop trying. (Yay Miguel Arguelles’ rant!)

My favourite kind of introduction doesn’t come at the beginning of a conversation. It comes in the middle of when you’re talking to someone, and they mention something they’re passionate about or that they want to accomplish, and you light up and go “Oh! I know who you should talk to!”, and you pull someone across the room and into the conversation with a brief introduction about why he or she is just the right person. I love making these contextual, motivated introduction, and I love receiving them too.

My second-favourite kind of introduction is where the introducer mentions a few common interests. The more uncommonly common, the better. Social network profiles help a lot with this, as I discovered when I memorized keywords from people’s profiles to help co-host a Greater IBM networking event.

When I’m helping start the conversation, I usually try to get my “What are you passionate about?” or “What’s your story?” questions in before (or shortly after) people go into the “What do you do?” routine. In addition to making the conversation more interesting, this also helps me do my favourite kind of self-introduction: a contextual self-introduction where I can talk about what we have in common or how I can help people.

I hate cold-start introductions almost as much as I hate having repetitive conversations about the weather. ;) Hence all these work-arounds to avoid them.

About the sharing instinct

Questions are awesome. Questions help me figure things out and get me explaining them. Then I get this “I really should blog that” urge, and we get posts like this – braindumps from snippets of conversation and questions partially answered.

The trick to finding more raw material for writing is to rewire your instinctive reactions so that you get that urge whenever something happens. Everything is raw material. There’s always something you can learn from, something you can share.

It’s worth writing down even if your thoughts are a bit sparse. Like this. This is me thinking out loud. (Hi!)

Time to write

Neal was surprised to hear that I write every day. It’s not hard. You just hook up your brain to the computer and think for a while. When you’re not focused on making perfect, elegant, insightful prose, you can get a lot more out of your brain.

I don’t have the time to write everything I want to. But I also don’t have the time to skip writing. (What, and have to re-explain myself and re-solve problems?)

Editing comes later. For me, I’m fine sharing practically everything, and leaving the rewriting to future blog posts that revisit my favourite topics.

In fact, I usually write more than once a day, but I’ve limited myself to publishing one post a day so that people can manage their reading better. It’s hard to resist the temptation to pack everything into one big post, though. Maybe I need to start setting word limits for myself as well.

Having a cat helps. Particularly a cat who wants breakfast by 7 AM at the latest. And who has a loud meow. And sharp teeth. And no snooze button. Why did I bother getting an iPod clock radio?

You can write 1500+ words in 1.5 hours. You don’t even need to type quickly. That’s 16 words per minute. The bottleneck is your brain, not your fingers. Being able to touch-type helps, because then you don’t have to think about typing, you just do.

The trick to finding the time to write is to build it into how you work, so that you don’t have to find the time to write. You write in the process of figuring something out or taking notes.

Braindump: On face-to-face and online social networking (xpost)

Sacha Chua — Sun, 23 May 2010 12:00:00 +0000

An author wants to set up an interview with me because she’s working on a paper on what can be done through face-to-face networking that can’t be done online.

Here’s what I think:

Most people strongly feel that face-to-face networking is much better than online social networking. A paper that focuses on what can be done through face-to-face networking that can’t be done with on-line social networking will find it hard to say anything that hasn’t been discussed before. If you want to get attention and create value, you can teach people how to effectively blend on-line social networking with their offline social networking.

How can people use online social networking tools to make it easy to identify people they want to get to know, make the initial contact, find common ground, keep in touch, maintain their network, and make introductions?

People have heard a lot about how online social networks are limited and often a waste of time. What they need is guidance on how to use these tools effectively, and how to make it worth the investment of time. As more companies explore telecommuting as a way to cut expenses and reach more globally-distributed talent, people need to learn how to connect and stay connected at work and in life.

Hmm. Let me explore that, because I get a whole lot more done with online social networking than with offline ones, and I find virtual networking to give me better results – and surprisingly good serendipity – than offline networking events.

Why I like online networking investments (blogs, presentations, etc.) more than offline networking investments (networking events, lunch, coffee):

Works for you even when you’re sleeping
Can start with other people getting value from you right away (people finding answers on your blog through search engines, etc.) – jumpstarts reciprocity
Reaches a much wider network with little additional effort
Allows people to efficiently get a sense of your depth and breadth (often more than you can pack into a five-minute conversation)
Makes it easy to stay connected (asymmetric connections possible; not dependent on both people’s time and inclination)
Supports greater value capture (it’s easier to copy and share an answer sent through e-mail than to remember what you discussed, type that up, and then share it)

Where offline networking is still useful: hearing from people who don’t share online

What I would recommend to people who are starting out:

Ditch the mindset that online social networking is much less effective than offline. Don’t be limited by your preconceptions.
Share what you know. Give as much knowledge away as you can. Create as much value as you can.
Be real. Don’t let the fear of imperfections stop you from sharing.
Build bridges. Make it easy for people who meet you offline to discover your online self. Make it easy for people who come across one of your posts to discover the others.
Experiment. Stick with things for a while before you give up, because it takes time to form a habit. Focus on immediate personal benefits so that you don’t get discouraged if you’re not immediately popular. Figure out what works for you.
Learn from others. Find someone you admire and learn from them. Ask questions. Share what you learn from them.

The problem with personal branding

Sacha Chua — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 12:00:00 +0000

One of the problems with personal branding is that we tell people that they’re damned if they do and damned if they don’t. We scare people with stories about college students posting inappropriate pictures, employees complaining about their bosses, and search engines remembering everything. Then we tell people that they need to be on LinkedIn and Facebook and Twitter and their own blog if they’re going to have a chance in today’s job market.

And we wonder why people don’t make the most of these tools.

I think the cautionary tales we tell people are interesting. We tell people to remember that search engines have a long memory, so you shouldn’t post complaints about your work or drunken pictures of you at parties. I think that’s focusing on the surface and not the roots. It’s not about keeping rants offline. It’s about getting better at focusing on the good stuff and taking responsibility for shaping your life.

Here’s the difference:

Personal branding tip: Don’t gripe about your work on your blog.

Life tip: Figure out how to make your work better so that you don’t want to gripe all the time. Accept that there will be times when you want to gripe and being frustrated is part of learning. Focus on the positive.

Also:

I think people are getting stuck, not because the tools are hard to use, but because people don’t know what to share. We can talk about how personal branding and social networking are great ways to build your reputation and demonstrate your expertise, but many people don’t feel like they’re experts.

I care about this because thanks to connection and opportunity compounding, the gap between the people who get it and the people who don’t get it will get wider and wider unless we do something.

In my case, that something includes demonstrating that you don’t have to be an expert to create value. That you can admit you don’t know something and you want to learn. That you can make mistakes and deal with your weaknesses. That you can build on your strengths and interests, and that the path from mediocre to good is worthwhile. That you don’t have to have a “voice” right away and you don’t have to sound like a polished writer. That you can be human.

When we tell companies to be human, we don’t mean that companies should use toilet humor or lie. We mean the best part of being human – connecting authentically, being real. We should encourage people to be human, too. I don’t want people to think that they need to be these polished and carefully-controlled brands. (Particularly considering we’re telling companies that they don’t control their messages!) I want people to find and share their best – as well as the seeds of what could be great. I want to build a world where people don’t have to worry about the rough, unfinished parts of themselves. I want to build a world where people can learn out in the open if they want to.

I think under-sharing is more of a problem than over-sharing. Yes, it’s a good idea to think before you post, and there are plenty of examples of failure. There’s that occasional exhibitionistic streak—the rebel in us that likes to shock others—that we need to rein in. But the bigger and more interesting challenge is that people don’t know what would be good to share, what other people might find useful.

Sure, thinking about personal brands can help you figure out what you know that other people might find useful. Truth is, practically anything can help someone out there. I’m often surprised by what people pick up from what I do – even little things like the way I use [ ] and [X] and [-] in my weekly review. So there’s a ton of things you can share, and the fun challenge is prioritizing so that you can get more valuable things out first. When you think that way – starting from a position of abundance and opportunity, rather than from a position of fear and anxiety – things get much easier.

So: Stop worrying about personal branding. Focus on what matters. Share. Create value. Don’t worry about whether you’re on all the right social networks and you have a complete profile with lots of recommendations. Start figuring out who you are, what you know and do, why it matters, what you can share, and how you can share it. Don’t worry about whether you look good. Focus on how you can help others. Everything else flows from that.

Notes from WITI: The Shy Connector

Sacha Chua — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 22:06:12 +0000

100 people and I chatted about networking for introverts in The Shy Connector, a webinar hosted by Women in Technology, International.

I’d love to hear from you. If you have any thoughts, comments, or suggestions, please feel free to post a comment or contact me privately. If you attended the presentation, please fill out the survey, suggest improvements, and tell me about other topics you would like to learn more about!

Slides:

The Shy Connector (update)

View more presentations from Sacha Chua.

Jump to the text chat

Speaker’s notes:

Hi, I’m Sacha Chua, and I’m an introvert.

You might be, too. Do you prefer bookstores over bars? Puzzles more than parties? Close friends instead of crowds? If so, you might be an introvert.

It can be hard to connect as an introvert. LinkedIn and Facebook can feel like popularity contests. How many friends do you have? Should you say yes to invitations from strangers? Meetups can be overwhelming. So many choices to make, so many people to meet…

So what can you do if you’re shy?

There are plenty of books and blogs about social networking, because success and happiness often depend on whom you know and who knows you.

“Sell yourself!” “Brand yourself!” “Attend as many events as you can!” “Talk to people in the elevator!” they advise. Right.

Most of the networking tips I’ve read are geared toward extroverts who don’t need tips on how to talk to strangers.

Me, I hate starting conversations. I find it hard to make small talk. I’m too shy to reach out. Following up takes focused effort.
Sound familiar? Ever felt that way, too?

Here are seven things I’ve learned about connecting as an introvert. I hope these tips will help you play to your strengths.

Tip 1: It’s okay to be an introvert.

You don’t need to fake being extroverted. You don’t need to be a glad-handing, business-card-throwing networker in order to connect. Just listen and ask a few questions during conversations. Give yourself quiet time to recharge. Connect online if you feel more comfortable that way. Figure out what works for you.

For me, blogging often works out better than going to events. Now that I understand that about myself, it’s easier for me to say, “No, I’m planning to stay home” when faced with an invite. I’m much more comfortable blogging than partying, and I can share in a way I simply can’t do in person.

Tip 2: Change your perspective.

It’s not about selling yourself. It’s not about marketing your personal brand. It’s not about figuring out what other people can do for you. It’s about focusing on what you can do to help other people.

Focus on what can help other people be happier and more successful. Ask questions. Explore ideas.

Focusing the spotlight on the other person makes it easier to make conversation and get to know others.

Tip 3: Give people reasons to talk to you, both online and offline.

Most people find it hard to start a conversation, too. Do them a favour and give them an excuse to approach you.

An interesting hat makes you easy to find in a crowd. Accessories with character draw remarks. Keywords on your nametag lead to conversations.

Online? Share your interests and thoughts. People can find you through search engines and reach out to learn from you.

My favourite? Giving a presentation. Talking to a hundred people at once is easier than talking to two at a time because I can rehearse what I want to say. I reach way more people this way, and I don’t have to start any conversations!

Tip 4: Look for ways to help.

While you’re listening, think: What do I know? Who do I know? How can I help?

Have I read a book they might like? Have I talked to someone they should meet? Do I have an interesting idea that can save them time?

Even if you can’t help right away, if you make it a point to remember their need, you may be able to connect the dots later.

Tip 5: Give yourself homework.

Following up with someone is easier when you’ve promised to send them a link or introduce them to someone else who can help.

That’s why you should always carry something you can use to take notes. Why worry about forgetting when you can write things down?

Tip 6: Make it easy to get to know you.

So you’ve met someone, learned about their interests, and followed up. How do you build the connection from there?

Even if you don’t like talking about yourself, you can make it easier for other people to get to know you.

Share your interests, skills, and goals. The more people know about what you can do, the more you can find opportunities to help them.

A personal website or profile page is a good way to start. Link it in your e-mail signature and put it on your business card.

A blog is even better. If you share tips, ideas, and a bit of a personal touch, people might even subscribe and really get to know you over time. They might even help you grow! =)

Tip 7: Keep growing, and your network will grow with you.

As you develop your passions, improve your skills, and grow your network, you’ll be able to create more value — and more, and more, and more.

The more you understand your passions, the easier it is to communicate them.

The more you improve your skills, the more you can help others.

The more people you know, the more introductions and connections you can make.

If you share what you’re learning with people, your network can grow along with you.

Then you won’t have to fake being an extrovert or drain yourself of energy; people and opportunities will simply flow to you.

Which of these tips would you like to focus on, practice, and learn more about? How can I help you explore your networking potential?

Notes from the text chat:

General notes

I’m an introvert in a business environment and an extrovert outside
The whole marketing myself through social media is a real challenge

Giving people reasons to talk to you

The name tag words are a good idea!

I want to see your funny hat
I think people would think I was strange if I walked in with a funny hat
I would be more shy if I have a hat on
Depends… sophisticated hat = empowering. goofy hat = loss of professional credibility

Living in an extroverted world

I pretend to be an extrovert all the time. People think I know what I’m doing but I am a mess inside.
People think i’m extroverted and don’t understand when i try to explain that i need down time or can’t overschedule myself
What about someone who complains all the time about personal issues?
Being a person that does not watch a lot of TV, I find that I need to watch the news more in order to be able to converse and stay up on current events, all over, including in the entertainment world. To be more well-rounded.

Conversations with introverts

Sometimes people just don’t talk back. I may start the conversation asking questions, but get yes/no answers.
I hear that!
Yes — when you’re trying to talk to other introverts!

Starting the conversation

What do you say when you first see someone besides “how are you”?
Instead of people “how are you” I ask them what brought them to the event, which has worked for me
brava i like the question, what are your passions
I’m a new grad and I work in a team with members that have been working in the company for 15+ years. I have a hard time connecting with them and often times i feel intimidated to even start a conversation that isn’t work related… : |
In a corporate environment, how do you initiate the connection – i always feel awkward inviting a “stranger” to lunch
I agree that it is hard to start non-work-related conversations.
new grad; ask one of those people to help you / take you under their wing

Leaving conversations

I have a hard time exiting a conversation gracefully…
How about “It was great talking to you…”
What about saying, I have to go, I have a few other people to meet with

Energy

How can you calm yourself down if you have to lead a conference call, or even worse, make a business speech in front of your peers?
I jump up and down about 20 times to get rid of nervous energy.
Don’t think as talking to peers. Talk to a friendly face or voice you already know.
Talk to “A” person.

Resources

I’m coaching a very shy young woman who is starting a business where she has to invite people to hear about her new business. She isn’t in WITI. Where could I get other information to help me help her?
Joining a local Toastmasters club is an excellent way to improve personal communications as well as giving business presentations.
Yes, Toastmasters is great. We used to have one here. You’re able to get feedback.

Meetings

What are techniques to interrupt people in a meeting when you want to make a point but everyone is talking and there’s no break in the conversation?
What about making more of an effort to speak up in meetings (especially remote)? People could incorrectly interpret shyness or quietness as lack of interest.

Voice and speaking

I get more nervous because I can’t get the “quiver” out of my voice. Any suggestions?
Doesn’t matter how prepared I am.
I get so nervous my neck and chest get red with hives!
When I speak in front of crowds, I stammer over my words. HELP!
Practice with a friend.
Practice in front of a mirror.
When I hear a speaker having trouble, nervous, stammering, I always, always feel I want them to do well, and I usually try and pay attention to them and smile to give them confidence, maybe knowing others (strangers) are on your side might help with the jitters

Personas – professional and social

How do you mix personal and business in social media?
I wouldn’t feel comfortable putting my personal site in my business signature
I use LinkedIn for professional networking and Facebook for personal networking and try not to blur the line
Social networking is big; however, I believe that you need to be careful with what’s put on there, especially in the business area. I’ve seen it used against people too.

Can you say something about posture? How do we show a positive posture?
I meant posture as far as your attitude
How you present yourself

Impressions

I had a friend share with me recently at a networking dinner that I had my hands clasped near my chin a lot, and she said that made me appear disengaged… so I had to watch that.
Here’s my favorite tip & it allows your first impression to be a strong one even if I don’t feel that way– Be the first to extend your hand to say “Hello, I’m Vickie.” You appear to be an extrovert
I did a Krispy Kreme fundraiser for Haiti at work for them to put a face to my name. :D One of the executives came by to pick up a couple of boxes and it was good to meet him!

Keeping your spirits up

How do you stay positive if people don’t respond or turn you down?
That is hard for me too – to stay positive.

Presentation style and delivery

This is the first entirely visual presentation I’ve seen and appreciate the clarity in ways it portrays the message
These are great slides. Simple and clean and really get the point across.
brava
Thank you Sacha your presentation was great!
This is the best webinar I have ever participated in
Thank you so much, Sacha — I totally relate to your perspective on being an introvert — thanks for doing this!
My first experience with this type of presentation – it was very helpful
I feel like the ‘It’s okay’ smiley guy right now :)
thank you!
Great presentation. Thanks Sacha.
Very helpful–thanks
excellent presentation – great innovation with your deployment

From the interaction: Challenges people faced: Fairly even spread, more emphasis on small talk and building the relationship

From the interaction: Tips to take forward: Perspective and growth

Previous Shy Connector discussions

Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Post a comment or contact me privately!

Next step for me: Blog about the different topics we discussed, then plan follow-up presentations or articles. Stay tuned!

I’d like to build the post-connector workplace

Sacha Chua — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 13:00:00 +0000

In a large organization, there are two ways to create great value: you can know a lot, or you can know a lot of people. Even within formal hierarchies, there are connectors who influence without authority. As organizations take advantage of social networking tools, connectors can keep in touch with more and more people.

Even new hires can be connectors. It’s a great way to get all sorts of interesting opportunities.

It can be tempting for connectors to try to hang on to that power. They might introduce people to each other, but not share their organizational knowledge of who’s where.

Me, I want to build the post-connector workplace.

I don’t want the power that comes from being the relationship or information broker. I don’t want to be the perpetual go-between. I want to build what I know into the foundation, so that everyone can use it. For me, that means building strong communities and knowledge maps.

Why?

Even connectors who can remember thousands of people are biased by recall and limited by their networks. Passing a question through personal networks take time and result in a lot of duplicates. Networks that depend on connectors lose a lot when those connectors leave.

I’d rather look for new talent than just refer people to the people who come to my mind first. I’d rather build the capabilities into the organization so that everyone knows where to go and how to connect. I try to share everything I’m learning, and I work on connecting dots in public instead of in private.

It’s not about how many followers you have or how influential you are, but about how well the organization and the world works even after you move on.

Thanks to Rosabeth Moss Kanter for the nudge to think about connectors!

Reflecting on introversion and shyness; help me find better words!

Sacha Chua — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 13:00:00 +0000

I’m an introvert. It’s not a bad thing. I’m growing into my strengths.

It took me a while to understand that part of me. My parents wanted me to enjoy myself at family reunions. My sisters called me square because I didn’t like hanging out at bars and clubs. Sometimes they let me just read. Other times, I think they wished I was more outgoing. I felt outgoing enough. I liked my own company, and that of a few others. I could spend hours just reading or using the computer. I wasn’t one of the popular kids, but I had a close-knit group of friends I brought together.

People don’t believe I’m an introvert. I speak. I write. I introduce people to others. It seems introverts should be tongue-tied in company, shying away from social contact. I’ve met some like that: hard to get to know, but rewarding when you do.

I’m learning to work with who I am. I plan my schedule so that I don’t overextend myself with events. I enjoy organizing my thoughts and communicating them through presentations, blog posts, and sketches. I get my energy through quiet time.

Thanks to books about introversion, I feel comfortable saying, “Thank you for the invitation to the party, but I’m looking forward to a quiet evening.” No need to pretend I’m over-committed. No excuses about work that needs to be done.

I can fill a conference with energy and hold my own in a room when needed. I even enjoy the buzz. But I know I’m an introvert, so I build quiet time into my schedule and I don’t feel guilty if I need a break.

Shyness is a different matter. There are shy extroverts. Shyness is social anxiety–a feeling of awkwardness, a lack of confidence.

I need a better word. I am not shy. I would just rather jump into the middle of a conversation than start one.

Given a choice between going to a cocktail party with mostly-strangers and hoping for a serendipitous connection, or reflecting on a topic and writing a blog post that can lead to more conversations over time, I’ll pick writing. It gives people reasons to start the conversation with me. It scales, too.

I mix in some randomness so that I’m not constrained by homogeneity. I take up different interests and meet different people. I reach out, read blogs, and leave comments. Yes, sometimes I start the conversation—when I can jump into the middle of it, informed by what people have shared publicly.

I don’t reach out to random people on Facebook and ask them to be my friend. I don’t chat people up at bus stops and in elevators. People who do that make me nervous. Being singled out in an anonymous crowd makes me wonder about people’s intentions. I value the ability to choose when to withdraw and when to engage.

I share, publicly and non-intrusively, so people can choose to reach out to me. We can jump into the middle of a conversation. It’s an odd sort of intimacy. It works.

So what is this? Not shy, not anti-social, not asocial… Pragmatic, because this approach lets me reach far more people? Lazy, because it reduces the work of connection? Respectful, because I give people the choice? None of those quite seem to fit. What word expresses this well?

Upcoming talk: The Shy Connector

Sacha Chua — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 08:20:00 +0000

For Women in Technology International (WITI). Target: 5-7 minutes core presentation, lots of discussion, 5-minute wrap-up at the end. Target 750-1050 words. ~830 words so far. Creative constraint: Tweetable segments. This will be an update of The Shy Connector (Aug 2009).

The Shy Connector: How to get strangers to talk to you.

Hi, I’m Sacha Chua, and I’m an introvert.

You might be too. Do you prefer bookstores more than bars? Puzzles more than parties? Close friends more than crowds?

It can be hard to connect as an introvert. LinkedIn and Facebook can feel like high school popularity contests. Meetups can be overwhelming.

What can you do if you’re shy about sharing yourself?

There are plenty of books and blogs about social networking, because success and happiness often depends on who you know and who knows you.

“Sell yourself!” “Brand yourself!” “Attend as many events as you can!” “Talk to people in the elevator!” Right.

Most of the networking tips I’ve read seem to be for extroverts who don’t find it hard to talk to strangers.

Me, I hate starting conversations. I find it hard to make small talk. I’m often too shy to reach out. Following up with people takes effort.

Sounds familiar? Ever felt that way too?

Here are seven things I’ve learned about connecting. I hope these tips will help you play to your strengths…

… because those characteristics of yours are strengths.

Tip 1: Being an introvert is okay.

You don’t need to fake being extroverted. You don’t need to be a glad-handing, business-card-throwing networker.

Go ahead. Listen and ask questions during conversations. Give yourself quiet time to recharge. Connect online if you want.

Figure out what works for you.

For me, blogging often works out better than going to events. Now I know that, it’s easier for me to say, “No, I’m planning to stay home.”

Tip 2: Give people reasons to talk to you.

Most people find it hard to start a conversation, too. Do them a favour and give them excuses to talk to you.

An interesting hat makes you easy to find in a crowd. Accessories with character can draw remarks. Keywords on your nametag lead to conversation.

My favourite? Giving a presentation. Talking to a hundred people is easier than talking to two. You can rehearse, and you reach more people.

See someone who looks even more uncomfortable than you? Reach out and start the conversation. You’re surrounded by reasons to talk.

Tip 3: Change your perspective.

It’s not about selling yourself. It’s not about marketing your personal brand. It’s not about figuring out what other people can do for you.

Focus on what can help other people be happier and more successful. Ask questions. Explore.

Focusing the spotlight to the other person means less anxiety. It’s easy to get to know people when you’re focused on them, not you.

Tip 4: Look for ways to help.

While you’re listening, think: What do you know? Who do you know? How can you help?

Have you read a book they might like? Have you talked to someone they should meet? Do you have an interesting idea that can save them time?

Even if you can’t help right away, if you remember what they need, you may be able to connect the dots later.

Tip 5: Give yourself homework.

Following up with someone is easier when you’ve promised to send them a link or introduce them to someone else who can help.

That’s why you should always carry something you can use to take notes. Why worry about forgetting, when you can write things down?

Tip 6: Make it easy to get to know you.

So you’ve met someone, learned about their interests, and followed up. How do you build the connection from there?

Even if you don’t like talking about yourself, you can make it easier for other people to get to know you.

Share your interests, skills, and goals. The more people know about what you can do, the more you can find opportunities to help them.

A website or profile is a good way to start. Link to it in your e-mail signature and put it on your business card.

A blog is even better. If you share tips, ideas, and a bit of a personal touch, people might even subscribe and get to know you over time.

They might even help you grow! =)

Tip 7: Keep growing, and your network will grow with you.

As you develop your passions, improve your skills, and grow your network, you’ll be able to create more value—and more, and more, and more.

The more you understand your passions, the easier it is to communicate.

The more you improve your skills, the more you can help others.

The more people you know, the more introductions and connections you can make.

If you share what you’re learning with people, your network can grow along with you.

Then you won’t have to fake being an extrovert or drain yourself of energy–people and opportunities will flow to you.

Which of these tips would you like to focus on, practice, and learn more about? How can I help you explore your networking potential?

—-

Paragraphs as short as these still feel staccato. I wonder how to be concise and yet conversational… Should I relax this constraint? =)

Offline and online conversations

Sacha Chua — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 13:00:00 +0000

Do you miss the serendipity of hallway conversations at conferences and events?

Online conversations can be more powerful than offline ones. Here’s why I think so.

In person, you start with people, and you look for common topics. Conversation participants all see each other. The possibilities are limited to who’s there and what you can discover in time.

Online, start with the topic you’re interested in. You find people, and people find you. The conversation goes on, asynchronously, for weeks, months, years.

I rarely talk to just one person about something. Most of the time, other people are interested. These people may have never met. The conversation brings them together. We learn even more.

I rarely talk to just people I know. Often, someone de-lurks and joins the conversation. People come in through searches or links. The conversation is much more open, more far-reaching.

This makes for interesting conversations. Amorphous, because I don’t know who’ll be in it or when it will end. Serendipitous, because we make unexpected connections. Efficient, because sharing serves many.

Do your online conversations look like this? How can you take advantage of being online? How can we translate these strengths into the offline world?

I’ll be away from Dec 30, 2009 to Jan 5, 2009. See you when I get back!

Accessing tacit knowledge and building pathways for two-way learning

Sacha Chua — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 13:00:00 +0000

… Contacts are of very limited value in this changing world — the name of the game is how to participate in knowledge flows.

… Large contact databases don’t particularly help in this quest and, in fact, can subvert our efforts to build the kinds of relationships that matter the most.

… Accessing tacit knowledge requires a learning disposition and an ability to attract, rather than simply reaching out.

… This often requires discussing publicly the issues you are wrestling with so others can become aware of them and seek you out if they are confronting similar issues. This can be very uncomfortable for most of us, because we are reluctant to expose provisional ideas and acknowledge that we are struggling with developing those ideas.

… Do you engage in these types of practices? What lessons have you learned in terms of being more effective at accessing tacit knowledge? What could your company do to encourage and support these kinds of practices?

John agel and John Seely Brown, Networking Reconsidered

Tacit knowledge: what we know but have not yet captured.

I think a lot about tacit knowledge, both sharing and receiving.

I need to share. I can’t help but share. I find meaning and passion in the act of sharing what I know and what I am learning. I work on converting tacit into explicit knowledge by writing things down and sharing them as widely as possible–usually, on this blog. I map my thoughts so that I can see an overview and find gaps. I write, I sketch, I speak. To speed things up, I’ve offered to mentor people. Questions help me access tacit knowledge. Other people’s perspectives help me learn even more.

It takes a village to raise a child, and the Internet is my village. Where there are gaps—the challenges I’m figuring out, the questions I haven’t even formulated yet, the things you can’t find on Google or in books—people step forward and share what they’ve learned. People are generous with their insights. Strangers pass through; some stay, become friends, move on. I remember the IBM ad of all those people teaching a boy, a metaphor for Linux. When I saw that ad, I thought: that is me as well.

Why does this work? Reciprocity? The serendipity of search engines and random connections? The asymmetry of communication? Reciprocity perhaps explains why people who have learned something from me—or from their own mentors—take the time to share their insights. Search engines mean that the knowledge flow doesn’t disappear with the end of a conversation or the geographic limits of physical interaction. Asymmetry means the network isn’t limited by my energy or courage.

I read a lot. I’ve read many, many books on networking. Inspired by those books, I used to set networking goals for myself. 300 “active” contacts that I’ve reached out to in the last six months, and so on. Now I don’t count. I just share.

I have not yet read a book that made sense of this new way of relating. We do something today that could not be done easily in the past. Not with this scale, not with this reach. There are many like me, and tools make our world even more densely connected.

There could be more. I need to find out what I’m doing right so that I can help others learn. I want to find out what we could do even better.

What are the key points of difference?

Motivation: I’m strongly motivated by gratitude and possibility: gratitude for what I’ve learned from others, and the possibilities of what we can do if I can help other people build on the foundations of what I’m learning.
Focus on creating value: I give first and freely. I’m more interested in how I can help other people than how they can help me. My own goals are straightforward and take time. Helping other people lets me learn more and get even more value out of my experiences.
Value: At work, I create value based on my adaptability, my workflow, and my network. None of these derive power from scarcity of information. In fact, the more I share, the better things get.
Tools: I focus on tools that scale easily. Writing is searchable. Sketches are quick and expressive. Recorded presentations and slides can be engaging.

How can I connect with people who are learning about sharing and help them share more effectively?

How can I connect with people who are curious about sharing and help them learn more?

(Hat-tip to Aneel Lakhani for sharing the link on Twitter!)

How I find and learn from mentors

Sacha Chua — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 13:11:00 +0000

Would you be willing to describe in more detail how those relationships came to be, and how you’ve gone about fostering them? Do you have any advice for someone looking for a mentor?

Duncan Mortimer

I don’t ask people, “Will you be my mentor?” People come forward when the time is right. So if you’re too shy to ask someone to mentor you, there’s hope! But you have to give them other reasons to step forward and care, and asking for help still helps.

How did I find my mentors? A university relations manager gave me advice on my thesis and on the company. I borrowed his books. He read my blog. I met an independent tech consultant at Toastmasters. I bumped into him again at tango. He joined my tea parties and talked to me about entrepreneurship. I tweeted about taking care of a stray cat. A friend offered a litter box. We chatted about business and life.

All my other mentoring relationships grew out of similar self-selected connections. I found my mentors through the questions I asked, the ideas I shared, and the relationships that grew from there.

What sparks that initial connection? Maybe it’s my passion. Maybe it’s the questions I ask. Maybe it’s the urge to share. The blog helps build those potential relationships to the point where people care enough about helping me grow that they’ll volunteer their insights. They can see my enthusiasm, what I want to do, and how they can help. I become a way for them to share what they’ve learned and make a bigger difference.

How do these mentoring relationships work? Mostly asynchronously, like much of my connecting. I like thinking things through by myself, and I’m comfortable sharing most of my thoughts on my blog. My mentors often read my blog, and they occasionally comment or bring it up during a discussion. It’s a great way to learn more. I read their blogs too, and I comment or mention it if I come across something that nudges my mind.

Many of my friendships are like that. We don’t get together often, but we’re peripherally aware of each other, and I consider them friends. Likewise, I don’t check in with all of my mentors regularly (hi Bernie!), but I continue to learn from what they share and feel grateful for their insights.

I seek out my mentors when I come across specific ideas I know they’ll want to explore too, or when the topic requires specific contextual knowledge not appropriate for the blog.

I also have regular chats set up with some of my mentors. I enjoy bringing people together over tea and biscuits, and I try to set those up often as well. I particularly like it when I can bring several mentors together with other friends. The conversations are fascinating, and I end up filling pages of notes.

Now my mentors introduce me to other people who are learning what I’m learning or who are interested in my passions, which makes the conversation even richer!

Thinking about improving the connective tissue of organizations

Sacha Chua — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 13:24:00 +0000

Even though I’m a recent hire, people often come to me to find other people in the organization. It’s a powerful way to create value. I’m not the expert they’re looking for, but I can point them in the right direction.

I want to not only to improve my networking capabilities, but to build this knowledge into the organization so that it transcends me. This reduces my direct influence, but strengthens the organization and makes more things possible. Improving the connective tissue in organizations increases efficiency, effectiveness, and happiness. A fully-connected organization allows people to bring together the best talent and the best resources no matter where they are, and it enables people everywhere to develop their full potential.

Little steps matter. Relentless improvement matters. How can I help make that happen?

I can teach the processes I use to find experts and resources. This enables more people to do what I do, and provides a platform that people can build on.
I can map the different communities, groups, and people for the subjects people often ask me about. Making the map visible brings people together.
I can cultivate communities and make them the go-to point for requests. Communities can reach a lot more people, bring in fresh talent, and form more connections. Vibrant communities also mean that individuals aren’t points of failure in the network.
I can provide feedback to our toolmakers and cultural influencers. Again, the more things we build into the framework, the easier it will be for more people to make things happen.

It may seem counter-intuitive to spread valued skills, especially if the organizational model is that knowledge is power and scarcity creates job security, but I need to create exponential value. Instead of accumulating and holding skills close, I want to push as much value as I can into the structure and into other people. I want to braindump everything I’ve learned and am learning, opening it all up so that other people can take the next step.

I want to see this smarter, truly globally-integrated workplace become reality. I need to help lots of people know more than what I know and do more than what I do.

I can help make that happen from where I stand and with the levers I have (and build). I’ll get even better as I learn more about different parts of the organization, respond to more requests, and find ways to align my work even better with the organization’s strategies. What we learn here can help other organizations and networks, too.

It’s a worthwhile goal. I’m looking forward to seeing how the adventure will unfold!

Cambridge stories from the past and future

Sacha Chua — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:26:32 +0000

I’m sitting at gate B6 at the Pearson Airport in Toronto, waiting for my
flight to Boston. In a few hours, I’ll be at the IBM Cambridge research
lab to help facilitate a client workshop. No visit to the lab is
complete without connecting with the Collaborative User Experience
group, and I’ve carefully stashed cookies in my carry-on bag to share
with them.

I get a warm and fuzzy feeling whenever I think of CUE. They’ve created
some of my favourite systems in IBM–social tools that have transformed
the way I experience work. Their questions and analyses help us explore
the effects of social computing and collaboration in the enterprise. And
they’re wonderful people, too.

I first got to meet them after convincing my research supervisor that
the graduate research I was doing at the University of Toronto would
benefit from a face-to-face meeting with the authors of the major papers
in my area of study. They could point me to interesting questions and
resources. Although travel funds were limited (aren’t they always?), I
finagled approval after showing that I could stay with a family friend
and taking public transportation. Taking a page out of my sister’s
playbook (and borrowing her “secret recipe”, too), I baked oatmeal
cookies for gifts.

Meeting the researchers in person was my first experience of how
powerful the social intranet could be. I felt I already knew them
because of their blog posts and papers. After a quick look at my
bookmarks and blog posts, they knew me too. Conversation was
surprisingly easy.

I kept in touch with the Cambridge lab as I continued to explore my
thesis topic. As an avid user of the social networking tools within IBM,
I was frequently involved in their studies. They published papers that I
cited, and commented on my blog posts with additional resources I should
check out. I flew down to speak at one of their get-togethers and learn
from the other sessions there. I was just dipping my toes in with my
research. It was fascinating to learn from people who were immersed in
the field. Through IBM’s Web 2.0 tools, I got to know them further, and
I also connected with lots of people all over the world.

That’s what made a real difference for me. I got to see a side of IBM
that few other graduate students or interns experienced. I met all these
amazing people throughout the organization. I learned so much from them,
and I was surprised to find that they were learning from me as well.

I couldn’t think of anywhere else I’d rather work or anyone else I’d
rather work with. I joined IBM’s application development and consulting
group in October 2007.

A year later, I visited the Cambridge lab again–this time as an
IT specialist facilitating a workshop on Generation Y. I made sure my
trip included an extra day for just meeting up with people, and I asked
one of my mentors to help me figure out how to make the most of that
day. He did more than that. He orchestrated this amazing insight-packed
day of meetings with different researchers who were passionate about
social networking and collaboration. An entire day! I felt like a
visiting dignitary instead of a newbie who was just starting out in the
organization. =) I took as many notes as I could, and I wished I could
make even better use of the ideas they shared.

I even got to sit in one of the research group meetings as they bounced
ideas around for the next year. I brought oatmeal cookies. When he saw
the cookies, the research group leader smiled and said it was just like
before. I had brought cookies when I visited them as a student shortly
after starting my thesis. Even though it was a small gesture, he
remembered it. That made me smile.

Later that day, I was walking through the corridors with the mentor
who’d arranged all of those meetings. He pointed out someone we’d just
passed, and whispered that that was Benoit Mandelbrot. It took me a lot
of resolve not to fangirl then and there. I nearly turned around and
asked for an autograph. ;) I had been fascinated by fractals in high
school, and there was the person who’d kicked it all off. Isn’t it
amazing, the kind of talent the world has?

Not all of us will invent new fields or open vast new vistas of
knowledge, but we’re all working on making the world a little better.
I’m deeply appreciative of the researchers at Cambridge and my other
colleagues around the world. They ask interesting questions. They build
our knowledge of how the world not only works, but how it _can_ work.
And they’re willing to reach out and take the time to help this novice
learn as much as she can from as many people as she can… Isn’t that
amazing?

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that I’ve only been at IBM for two years,
officially. I’ve been on the network for four years. I feel at home in
our communities and on our networks. It’s also hard to believe that this
is really only my third year of “real” work experience: one year as a
teacher, and now two years at IBM. There are many, many things I’m
figuring out for the first time. But the social networks I can reach are
disproportionately bigger than my tenure, and the insights and
opportunities that people have shared with me mean that I sometimes now
find myself with the answers to questions people ask.

What amazes me most about all of this is:

If I can connect like this, work like this, and love like this even as a
recent hire who’s figuring lots of things out, imagine what else is
possible. Imagine what I could do ten years from now. Imagine what more
experienced people could do right now. Imagine what new hires could do
if they got off to an even faster start. Imagine what the enterprise
could do if this was part of the culture.

I sometimes wonder why people are so generous with their insights and
energy, why they share so much with me. Perhaps part of it is paying
their own mentors back. Perhaps part of it is that my questions help
them further understand their answers. And perhaps part of it is that I
help them see the difference they’ve made and imagine the future they’re
helping create.

This is a future worth building, and I can’t wait to see what we can do
next.

The shy connector’s schedule: making time to breathe

Sacha Chua — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 13:02:00 +0000

It starts innocently enough. You’re asked to attend a meeting next Tuesday. You accept. Your coworkers invite you to lunch on Wednesday. You agree. A friend invites you to her birthday party next week. You put it on your calendar. Then another meeting invitation comes, and another, and another. Networking events, coffee breaks, and presentations crowd into your schedule.

If this has ever made you feel suffocated, exhausted, and in dire need of some alone time, you might be an introvert.

I know it’s difficult to say no to opportunities. I’ve accepted too many invitations and tried to attend too many events. Last year’s conference season was particularly stressful. The first week, I was in New York for the Best Practices Conference, giving a presentation on blogging. The second week, I was at the even bigger Technical Leadership Exchange in Florida, giving a presentation on Generation Y. By the time I got to the Web 2.0 Summit (which I was helping organize), I was ready to hide. (And I did, behind the podium.)

As much as I enjoy learning from people in conversations and conferences, needing to be “on” all the time is incredibly draining. I’m learning how to manage my schedule and how to say no.

It’s important to figure out what works for you. For example, I don’t want to be out late two nights in a row. In fact, I’d rather not be out late at all. This means that before I accept an invitation, I look at my schedule for that time and my schedule for the week, making sure that I’m not trying to pack too much in.

In addition to getting better at saying no, I’m also getting better at scheduling time for myself. I’ve blocked off time on my calendar for planning, working on important tasks, and responding to mail. Sometimes people still schedule meetings during those times, but in general, I can be sure that my day won’t be full of conference calls. I sometimes block off time during evenings and weekends for particular projects, too. If I’m going to travel for a workshop or a presentation, I want to have a quiet week before and after the trip, and I plan accordingly.

Does this limit opportunities compared to extroverts who are out there schmoozing? Maybe. But I’ve tried running in extrovert mode for extended periods of time, and I can’t do my best if I feel like I’m coming apart. Besides, the things I do in my quiet time—read, write, reflect—also help me connect with people, although in a more introvert-friendly way. It’s better to work with the grain instead of against it.

It’s important to make time to breathe. If you find yourself running ragged because you feel that you have to say yes to everything, stop and slow down. Schedule introvert dates with yourself. Make time for breaks. Say no. You’ll find that the quiet time you give yourself will make it even easier to connect with people when you do, because you’ll be happier and better rested.

What can you do to free up some time for yourself?

Reflecting on how I can create value

Sacha Chua — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 20:30:18 +0000

I reviewed my past eight years of blog posts and dusted off some articles that I think still have some uncaptured value in them.

Public speaking and presentation skills

The particular quirks I bring to this are:

I link presenting with blogging and connecting, which is a particularly good combination for introverts
I’m comfortable giving virtual presentations
I love thinking about presentation organization
I love flipping the dynamic for presentations (not just “speaker as expert”)
I like sketching, and that’s become part of my style

I can create value by:

helping other introverts and novice speakers identify their core passions through blogging/writing, and develop presentations around those topics
helping speakers make the most of virtual presentations
sketching explanations for other topics, and helping build a visual library of metaphors and examples

Connecting / networking

The particular quirks I bring to this are:

I’ve figured out a lot about how I can connect as an introvert (speaking, social media)
I’m a geek, and I tweak my system

I can create value by:

sharing tips for other introverts
sharing tips on connecting through writing, speaking, and using social media
connecting the dots

Productivity

The particular quirks I bring to this are:

I’m comfortable delegating tasks and projects, and I’m learning more about that
I enjoy practicing relentless improvement

I can create value by:

Sharing tips for personal delegation
Sharing my process improvements and ideas

Looking at these lists, I think I’ll be able to create the most value by making presentations (and writing accompanying articles) about presenting and connecting. Presentations spread much faster than blog posts and they also help me practice visual communication, so my output will probably focus on that. Blogging is a great way for me to think through the topic out loud, organize my thoughts, and figure out what should go into the presentation. Editing can help me pick out the key messages for the different topics, express them more vividly, figure out what’s missing or redundant, and improve the presentation flow.

Although virtual presentation skills meet a timely need at work, the Shy Connector series and other networking tips would benefit a wider audience. I want to make a set of presentations and blog posts that can help introverts and extroverted newbies make the most of conferences, blogging, and other ways to connect.

Okay! Next step: get in touch with potential editors, explain my goals, and do a trial run of reviewing/revising one major post each.