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Keeping in touch with diffuse networks

Soha wrote:

I’m a long time reader of your blog and I must say it’s pretty amazing and inspiring. I always look forward to your next post and read it over and over for tips and ideas

But there was one thing that I’m not sure if you’ve covered in the past .. It’s about keeping in touch with your networks and freinds

I’m really having a hard time with this issue.. Particularly how to stay in touch.. What do to and what to say and how often… Etc.. Is there a system that u tried that works for u? Or a schedule that You follow to keep yourself on track?

And what about freinds ?? Do u apply the same approach as with your networks or do u so something else ??

Hope I didn’t ask too many questions but any help with this matter would be greatly appreciated

I rarely e-mail or call people just to catch up. I occasionally look for experiences I can share with friends, and I host get-togethers from time to time. I like checking out people’s social networking updates from time to time, and I comment when I’ve got something to share.

I mostly reach out to people when:

  • I’ve come across something that they might find useful
  • I can answer one of their questions or help them out with something
  • I can connect them with someone who has a question they can answer

More about the tools I use to connect

This mostly-passive networking style doesn’t fit the advice of most networking books, which focus on techniques for active networking: making lists of contacts you want to make, cultivating relationships through coffees and lunches, working those network events. It works for me, though.

Part of this might be because I let go of the need to be in close touch with specific people, and I open things up to serendipity instead. I don’t have to stress out about not being in close touch with my friends. I still feel warm and fuzzy about people even if I haven’t seen them in a year, and I hope they feel the same too.

Besides, it’s easy for people to keep in touch with me. I write about life on my blog, and I occasionally post social network updates on Twitter, which is synchronized with Facebook and LinkedIn.

Back to diffuse networks. Clouds, if you will.

There’s an oft-quoted limit to social relationships: Dunbar’s number, some 150 people in your “village”, the maximum number of people most people can keep track of, with their interrelationships and quirks. I don’t try.

I want to touch the lives of many more people than I can know, just as I learn from many more people than I can meet. People drift in and out whenever they want. I try to remember as much as I can about people, but it’s okay to re-learn and re-discover.

How do you keep in touch with people? Or perhaps, a different question: How do you cultivate serendipity?

2010-08-23 Mon 20:09

Short URL: http://sachachua.com/blog/p/7319
  • http://www.jehzlau-concepts.com/ jehzlau

    Sorry for this unrelated comment:

    woooot! it has been a long time since i last visited your blog. :D I love ur new layout. yay! :D specially the category doodles. :D

  • http://sachachua.com Sacha Chua

    <laugh> Actually, that comment is quite related. Isn’t it wonderful that you can drop by and catch up whenever you want, instead of my e-mailing all the time? <grin>

    Thanks for reading, and glad you like the new look!

  • http://www.jehzlau-concepts.com/ jehzlau

    yay! I definitely love the new look. It has been 2 years since I’ve been thinking about having a doodle for each of my blog category or page, but I haven’t done it yet. O__O

  • http://sachachua.com Sacha Chua

    I’ve got way more categories than doodles and some categories are more active than others, but that’s okay. =) Start with a few if you want!

  • http://www.jehzlau-concepts.com/ jehzlau

    Yay! yep yep.. I’ll definitely start a few category doodles soon. :D I’ve been so lazy this year. I only update my blog once or twice a month. O__O

  • http://rexsthoughtspot.blogspot.com Rex Lee

    I’m kinda with you Sacha. I don’t use a rigorous sched or plan to foster relations, but I do on occasion scan my networks beit professional or personal and send out a couple of pings. Like I am doing right now :)

    It’s nice to be able to “catchup” via social nets, as the value of ones contributions isn’t necessarily at the time you are writing/publishing them. Being able to go travel in time creates opportunities for discussions that I would have missed.

    But if you never leave a trail or history, it’s a little more difficult to stay connected. So thank-you for your on-going posts!

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