Shifts in my writing

Sometimes, when I sit down to draw my five index cards of the day, I have a hard time delineating five interesting thoughts – things I want to remember or share. They often seem so inward-turned.

I was thinking about the shape of my blog, too. I feel like I’ve shifted from a lot of technical posts to a lot of reflective posts. Possibly less interesting for other people, but useful to me. It’s hard to tell. These are the kinds of posts I’ve been starting to find useful in other people’s blogs, anyway, so who knows? Maybe these things are interesting for other people too.

It’s wonderful to be able to flip back through my archive and see the patterns over time. Of the 2,800+ posts in my index as of April 2015, I’d classify around 170 as mostly reflective. (Totally quick classification, just eyeballing the titles and categories in my index.) Here’s the breakdown:

Year Reflections
2008 4
2009 9
2010 20
2011 7
2012 25
2013 20
2014 59
2015 25
Grand Total 169

While writing a recent post, I searched my archives to trace the evolution of my understanding of uncertainty over several years. I can remember not having these snapshots of my inner world. When I reviewed ten years of blog posts in preparation for compiling Stories from My Twenties in 2013, I was surprised by how many technical and tip-related blog posts I skipped in favour of keeping the memories and the questions, and the sense of things missing from my memories. Maybe that’s why I wrote almost three times the number of reflective posts in 2014 as I did in the previous year. 2014 was also the year I switched the focus of my experiment from other-work to self-work, and that might have something to do with it too. I’m glad I have those thinking-out-loud, figuring-things-out posts now.

The end of April was around 33% of the way through the year, so I’m slightly ahead of last year’s reflective-post-density (expected: 20 posts, actual: 25). Comments are rare, but I’ve learned a lot from them.

I’m fascinated by the ten-year journals you can buy in bookstores. They give you ways of bumping into your old selves, noticing the differences. I like the way blogs give me a little bit more space to write, though. =) Here’s a slice of my life going through May 14:

I have shifted. I focus on different things. I like the direction I’m going in. I can imagine, years from now, getting very good at asking questions, describing and naming elusive concepts, and exploring the options. If it seems a little awkward now, that’s just the initial mediocrity I have to get through. Hmm…

2015-05-13 Emacs Hangout

Console Emacs vs GUI Emacs, keybindings, Org Mode, cooking, nyan, window management, calendars, SuperCollider

Usual disclaimer: times are approximate, and the note-taker often gets distracted. =)

  • 0:00:00 Emacs configuration
  • 0:11:22 Console Emacs vs GUI Emacs? iTerm integration, mouse support, 256 colours, drop-down menus (although you can get a text one), …
  • 0:14:59 multihop TRAMP
  • 0:16:01 keybinding philosophies, Hyper and Super
  • 0:22:15 Remapping keys on Mac OS X (dealing with separate Alt and Meta)
  • 0:28:04 Org and mobile
  • 0:30:25 emulating hyper and super keys
  • 0:32:15 orgzly
  • 0:33:33 Org Mode and cooking, org-map-entries
  • 0:39:31 nyan
  • 0:43:04 One window, workgroups
  • 0:46:56 winner-mode
  • 0:53:30 rinari, zeus, ruby
  • 0:54:53 neotree
  • 0:58:22 keyboards
  • 1:03:24 conference
  • 1:09:22 calw; also, something about rainbow-mode, and palette, and then later Org Mode
  • 1:23:13 SuperCollider, Overtone, yasnippet
  • 1:45:13 blackink?

Text chat:

Here’s the gif I have as my nyan http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/donkeykong/images/9/91/Cranky_walk.gif/revision/latest?cb=20100930155227

Sahil Sinha 9:23 PM http://emacswiki.org/emacs/MetaKeyProblems
Jack G. 9:24 PM (setq mac-right-command-modifier ‘hyper)<br>(setq mac-right-option-modifier ‘super) http://ergoemacs.org/emacs/emacs_hyper_super_keys.html (global-set-key (kbd “H-h”) ‘er/expand-region
George Jones 9:32 PM https://github.com/heikkil/org-dropbox
Jack G. 9:36 PM nyan Cranky_walk.gif
Jack G. 9:42 PM
me 9:42 PM http://www.emacswiki.org/emacs/OneWindow ?
Daniel H 9:46 PM https://github.com/tlh/workgroups.el
me 9:48 PM http://askubuntu.com/questions/4820/keeping-emacs-from-splitting-the-window-when-openning-multiple-files winner-mode
George Jones 9:59 PM http://ergoemacs.org/emacs/emacs_best_keyboard.html
George Jones 9:59 PM Xah Lee writes a LOT about keyboards
Jack G. 10:02 PM http://www.razerzone.com/ca-en/store/razer-anansi
Bogdan Popa 10:10 PM https://github.com/kiwanami/emacs-calfw#for-ical-google-calendar-users
me 10:11 PM org-gcal
Daniel H 10:12 PM https://github.com/kiwanami/emacs-calfw
George Jones 10:12 PM having real trouble hearing…
George Jones 10:20 PM when you open a PDF in docview you can get the text with ^C^T (default bindings)
Jack G. 10:21 PM Thanks George!
George Jones 10:21 PM C-c C-t runs the command doc-view-open-text
me 10:27 PM http://doc.norang.ca/org-mode.html
sai tejaa Cluri 10:27 PM hi
Jack G. 10:37 PM https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&amp;rct=j&amp;q=&amp;esrc=s&amp;source=web&amp;cd=1&amp;cad=rja&amp;uact=8&amp;ved=0CB4QtwIwAA&amp;url=https://vimeo.com/22798433&amp;ei=QQpUVYvkDY7boATNoYBg&amp;usg=AFQjCNFWP2p0lzfnV9O8Ln8Xj700X64xpg&amp;sig2=imdZEfZtqo06MSjnb2i71Q
me 10:37 PM This was a fun demo of Org Mode and SuperCollider http://pages.sachachua.com/emacs-chats/chat-iannis-zannos.html
Levi Strope 10:40 PM Jack your audio is crystal clear now… whatever that change was
Jack G. 10:45 PM http://blackink.bleank.com/
me 10:48 PM http://emacslife.com/baby-steps-org.html

What kind of tribe do I want to build around Quantified Self in Toronto?

Attendance at the Quantified Self Toronto meetup has been low lately, and it’s a good time to think about revitalizing or even redesigning the community.

2015-05-11f Thinking about Quantified Self Toronto turnover -- index card #quantified #meetup

2015-05-11f Thinking about Quantified Self Toronto turnover – index card #quantified #meetup

The way it is now works okay for newcomers. I imagine the experience for newcomers is mostly like: Wow, I’m not alone! I’m not weird! There are other people who track stuff! (I know, I get that feeling each time I go too. =) ) If they work up the courage to share what they’ve been learning, they often pick up plenty of tips and ideas, and they can connect with other people tracking similar things.

From regulars, it’s great to hear updates or find out about other things they’re tracking.

The talks do tend to be a little repetitive. Often it’s about people sharing data collected using apps or devices with predefined visualizations, and the occasional self-promotional bit. Sometimes we get new analyses or unconventional experiments, and those are the kinds of talks I enjoy the most.

The repetition is understandable – good, even. I think that’s mostly because each person has to go through an individual journey. Even if two people present the same topic and have similar conclusions, it’s good to recognize each of their experiences.

Still, it might be interesting to think about how we can increase the value for regulars and long-time trackers…

Mmm. If I could selfishly redesign this community to be even better-suited to my interests, what would it be like?

I go to Quantified Self Toronto meetups because I like the kind of people who use data to make better decisions about their lives. I particularly like it when someone’s curious about something off the beaten track, whether they’re collecting data on paper or they’ve built their own tools. Experimental manipulation is also interesting for me. I also like having the occasional nudge to design, conduct, and report on my little experiments. I’ve talked about a lot of odd things over the years (like cat litter box use, and more recently, sewing), and I like resonating with people in an unexpected way.

If I were to tilt Quantified Self Toronto to be something more personally useful for me, I might focus on:

  • Getting more people to the point of being able to explore and analyze their own data instead of relying on apps
    • Learning to notice when you’re confused, and thinking of ways to explore that uncertainty
    • Tracking on paper
    • Analyzing with spreadsheets and graphs
  • Connecting with other toolmakers so that we can bounce ideas around
  • Developing my own skills in data collection, analysis, and visualization
    • Android programming or scripting?
    • Electronics?
    • R?
  • Trying out other people’s experiments so that I can share my experiences and notes with them
  • Researching unconventional experiments/measurements using QuantifiedSelf.com and similar blogs, and drawing inspiration from those

At the Quantified Self Conference I went to in 2012, I gravitated towards people who tracked their own questions or even built their own tools. I don’t expect the majority of Quantified Self Toronto to be creatively technical, but it might be interesting to attract and retain a core of people like that. What would make 2-3 hours worth it for them, and what would make it more worthwhile for me? Alternatively, what are other ways I could build that kind of tribe? I think education, inspiration, and shared experiments might be interesting to play with. Hmm… The same combination could help encourage newcomers to develop along those lines, too. Might be worth looking into.

From dreams to experiments

Since my childhood, my parents have always told me to follow my dreams. It wasn’t just the usual maxim passed on from books and the child-raising culture of the time. I had proof of the power of dreams in the adventures of my father.

I talked to my parents last weekend. They’re a little worried about me during this amorphous 5-year experiment with semi-retirement. Am I doing okay? Am I following my dreams?

At that moment, I realized that I’d found something that resonates with me even more than dreams do. I’m not following my dreams. I’m doing something stranger and more exciting to me. I’m experimenting.

2015-05-10e Plans, dreams, and experiments -- index card #experiment #mindset

2015-05-10e Plans, dreams, and experiments – index card #experiment #mindset

I’d reflected on the difference between plans and experiments, and dreams are like that too. A plan has a certain end. A dream is a plan with passion and maybe a long-term story: “I’ve always wanted to…”. There’s that sense of certainty when you’re following your dream. You know where you want to go, and you know what progress you’re making towards it. You can feel it in every fibre.

I want something else.

I want the experiment. Uncertainty. Learning. I seek out in myself where the vision is still uncertain, where there’s not enough data from other people’s lives.

It’s neat being able to trace my growth over time. In 2012, I became more comfortable with saying “I don’t know.” In 2013, I started letting go of the need for certainty, for clearly defined passions. In 2014, I found a metaphor that resonated with me: exploration. Now I know that I want this more than I want to check off boxes. I find myself the most curious about the things that are hardest to explain, going further away from common experience.

I could not have dreamed what I’m learning now. I’m well into territory that my younger self couldn’t have imagined. I didn’t know it was possible, then. Even now, I don’t know the full range of possibilities. I’m not entirely clear on what awesomeness would look like. But I’m curious, and exploring is its own adventure. Wherever I end up, I’m sure it will be somewhere my present self can’t picture.

I don’t dream of being happy, and it’s not something I pursue. That’s is because I am happy. I see happiness as a deliberate response to the world: a steadfast focus on what’s good about life.

If I strive for anything, it’s equanimity. But even that is in my grasp as soon as I want it. Equanimity isn’t a destination to arrive at. It’s something to practice. Only time and trial can tell.

Aside from equanimity, what else is there to want? I’m as comfortable as I could be: roof, food, resources, tools, community, access to knowledge. Even those things are not essential. People have lived greater lives with less.

I don’t dream of mansions or influence or fame. I don’t need to wait for these things. Knowing that makes me free to appreciate and make the most of my current life.

I want a mind that takes everything as fuel. I want to turn both victories and obstacles into springboards. A thought: How can I intensify this experiment? How can I get better at learning?

  • Reading and re-reading can help me identify role models, build on other people’s wisdom, find the words to describe what I’m thinking, and combine interesting ideas.
  • Developing practical skills increases my independence and enjoyment. Sewing, electronics, and woodworking might be good candidates to focus on.
  • Writing and drawing might help me find people who resonate with these ideas. If I’m lucky, we might even explore them together.
  • With self-care as a solid foundation, I can slowly grow outwards to encompass more within my circle of influence.
  • To do that, I’m learning more about playing with the world: negotiating changes, developing relationships, applying energy and enthusiasm. We’ll see how it turns out!

It’s odd – I’m still not a big fan of uncertainty when it comes to physical space. Spur-of-the-moment road trips? That would drive me up the wall. I like having autonomy and being able to manage my levels of stimulation. But there are some kinds of uncertainty in life that have a different flavour to them, and that’s what I want to explore.

Is this, then, my dream? It seems so different from the usual dreams that it’s understandably hard for other people to understand. It feels constantly novel and evolving, instead of being a fixed North Pole for my journey. It is what it is, I guess, and I’ll explore it while I have the space to do so.

Laser-cutting bias tape in off-cut regions

I have a few more tops to do. As an experiment, I cut my bias strips from the offcuts surrounding the peach top I was working on. That took a bit more work than cutting a 10″ square and following the continuous bias tape tutorial from Colette, but it was satisfying to use the oddly-shaped offcuts for something useful.

To make this easier in the future, I modified my basic top laser-cutting template to include bias strips (and a few other circles and 2″ rectangles) in the off-cuts. I’ll be able to use it for the Kaufman cotton lawn that I haven’t started working on yet, and I’m looking forward to giving this tweaked pattern a try.

This is what it looks like in Inkscape:

2015-05-08 22_40_17-2015-05-08-top.svg - Inkscape.png 2015-05-08 22_40_17-2015-05-08-top.svg - Inkscape

The perpendicular seams waste a little more fabric and are a little bulkier compared to 45-degree seams, like this:

2015-05-08 22_03_29-2015-05-07-top.svg - Inkscape.png2015-05-08 22_03_29-2015-05-07-top.svg - Inkscape

but I find perpendicular seams easier to sew, since I don’t have to worry about the pointy ends getting misaligned.

How to draw the diagonal lines:

  1. Use the pen tool to draw a long diagonal line, using the Ctrl key to constrain it to a 45-degree angle.
  2. Use Ctrl-D to duplicate it many times.
  3. Select all the duplicates.
  4. Use Object > Arrange to arrange the lines in one row (uncheck the checkbox for equal width and height). For 1″ bias strips, set the X offset to 1.414 – the diagonal line’s width. This will be a negative number. Set the Y offset to 0. Arrange the items.
  5. Combine the arranged lines and move them into position.
  6. Duplicate your main pattern with Ctrl-D.
  7. Select that and the combined diagonal lines. Use Path > Cut Path to cut the diagonal lines where they intersect with your main pattern.
  8. Delete the lines you don’t need.

Here’s one way to draw the horizontal or perpendicular lines in Inkscape:

  1. Use the pen tool to draw a line at the desired degree, using the Ctrl key to constrain the angle.
  2. Change the width (and height, for diagonal ones) in the toolbar to make it exactly fit between the lines.
  3. Select the seam line, then select a diagonal line. Use the alignment tools to align it to the top of the diagonal line and align the right edge to the left edge of the diagonal line. (Play around with the alignment tools until you figure out what works.)

2015-05-08 22_47_36-2015-05-08-top.svg - Inkscape2015-05-08 22_47_36-2015-05-08-top.svg - Inkscape.png

Now I just have to figure out what to do with these bias tape bits that are piling up. This patchwork string tutorial looks promising. In addition to using the bias tape for binding, I can use them for straps, strings, and ribbons. Hmm…

Here’s the file: https://github.com/sachac/laser/blob/master/2015-05-08-top.svg

Weekly review: Week ending May 8, 2015

Lots of sewing last week, experimenting with zippered pouches, leggings, and cotton lawn. I prepared a quick Quantified Self talk sharing some of the numbers from my sewing, too.

More thoughts on fuzziness and sharpness, and how to make the most of the cycle between them.

Oh, and biking, yay!

output

2015-05-11g Week ending 2015-05-08 -- index card #journal #weekly

Blog posts

Sketches

Focus areas and time review

  • Business (19.6h – 11%)
    • Earn (2.9h – 14% of Business)
      • Earn: E1: 1-2 days of consulting
    • Build (15.7h – 80% of Business)
      • Drawing (12.0h)
      • Paperwork (0.0h)
    • Connect (1.0h – 5% of Business)
      • Attend meetup
      • Research Quantified Self
      • Process Quantified Self Toronto videos
  • Relationships (4.3h – 2%)
    • Holiday get-together with W-‘s family
    • Check out cherry blossoms
    • [-] Call tomorrow to see if Sunday morning is okay for cat grooming
  • Discretionary – Productive (27.0h – 16%)
    • Emacs (0.2h – 0% of all)
      • Announce Emacs Hangout 2015-05-13
      • Work on menu planning in Emacs
      • Reschedule Emacs Lisp Development Tips episode with jwiegley
      • Host Emacs Hangout
    • Sewing
      • Modify pattern for tops to cut out bias
      • Iron and prepare cotton lawn top
    • Writing (8.0h)
  • Discretionary – Play (6.7h – 4%)
  • Personal routines (35.8h – 21%)
  • Unpaid work (13.5h – 8%)
  • Sleep (61.0h – 36% – average of 8.7 per day)