Sketched Book: The Stoic Art of Living: Inner Resilience and Outer Results – Tom Morris

Tom Morris’ The Stoic Art of Living: Inner Resilience and Outer Results (2004) collects easy-to-read quotes from Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius. The author glues the quotes together with commentary, providing context and suggestions for interpretation.

2014-12-10 Book - The Stoic Art of Living - Inner Resilience and Outer Results - Tom Morris

I like the author’s quotes from ancient philosophers, as other translations can feel stuffy. It’s a decent overview of interesting thoughts, and you can follow the ideas to their sources. The book can feel a little light, though. There’s something about the succession of quotes and topics that makes me feel like I’m bobbing up and down on a surface.

For comparison, I feel that William Braxton Irvine’s A Guide to the Good Life (2009) goes into greater depth for fewer concepts. Ryan Holiday’s The Obstacle is the Way reads more like a modern self-help book inspired by Stoicism, without as many quotes as this book.

If you’ve read a lot about Stoicism (and especially from the three philosophers featured here), you probably won’t find a lot of new ideas here. However, you might pick up some good phrasings and ways to think about those ideas. As Pierre Hadot wrote in Philosophy as a Way of Life: “Ancient philosophy was designed to be memorized, so that it could be ‘at hand’ when we are confronted with tumultuous situations.” Maybe you’ll find the quotes in this book easy to hang on to. Enjoy!

If you want, you can check out the books on Amazon:

I get a small commission if you buy the books through those links, but getting them from the library is totally okay too. =) Have fun!

Stoic impressions: Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down

I’m with the Stoics rather than the Aristotelians on this one (or at least based on how I understand things): all you need for a good life is you. I’m not wise enough to know whether that’s true, but I think that it’s better for me to live as if that’s the case instead of thinking that happiness can be that much influenced by luck and external events. Challenge accepted!

I’m starting to understand what I’d like to aspire to be when I’ve infused whatever wisdom I can get from philosophy into my reflexive responses to life’s situations. I’m not trying to get through life completely unruffled and serene. Stuff happens. I get sad. I get excited. I get scared. I get delighted. I react to the world around me.

At the same time, I like this ability to step outside of these impressions. I can see myself even as I laugh or cry, working on separating the facts from what I think about them. I can enjoy the ups and downs and yet not get carried away by them. I can be happy that something I cooked turned out well and that people liked it; and I can know that in the grand scheme of things, it’s insignificant (but worth doing anyway). I can be scared about the possible downsides of something I’m going to try anyway; and I can know that in the grand scheme of things, it’s insignificant (but worth doing anyway). Something can happen, and I know that I could respond to it in many different ways.

Whatever life throws at me, I can choose to respond and not just react. Sure, the first few moments might be more instinctive–pain hurts, joy elates, sometimes I say the wrong thing–but what happens after that is up to me.

I’d like to avoid getting carried away by stuff, the way people get consumed by grudges or misled by temptations. I think that’s what the Stoics meant in their focus on ridding themselves of passions–not “passion” in the modern sense of “things I feel awesome about and enjoy doing,” but rather the kind of “passion” that takes over your reason and leads to suffering.

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I guess I’d like to be like a roly-poly toy, like the egg-shaped Weebles of the slogan “Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down.” Then the Stoic idea of a passion might be wobbling so much and not quite being the shape that you need to be to bounce back, ending up so far off your center of mass that you stay down (or at least until other people help you get back up, because really, sometimes people do get wobbled more than they can handle, and that’s an opportunity for other people to help out).

So far, I’ve been extraordinarily lucky. It’s been easy to return to normal from the little things I’ve come across so far. You know how some video games are designed to gradually help you learn different skills and others throw you in the deep end? So far my life has been like the former. When things come, they’re within my range and I have the support structure that makes them easier to deal with. So I guess that’s like I’m playing a game where you get just enough wobbling so that you can correct your mass distribution or egg-shaped profile in order to wobble back better.

Which is sort of Stoicism, I think. Stoicism helps with adjusting so that you can deal with bigger and bigger wobbles if you need to. Stoicism reminds you that you are not the wobble that pushes you. You don’t control the wobble, so why bother stressing out about it? You can get better at bouncing back. You can work on becoming the weebliest Weeble.

I sometimes hear from people who are playing a much harder game, where they have to deal with pretty darn big wobbles before they’ve been able to sort things out. I’m not sure I have that much to offer. Newbie tips aren’t as useful for people stuck playing life on the “hardcore” setting, I guess! I can say that I’m working on being a better roly-poly toy and that it seems to be working out so far, but I definitely haven’t wobbled as much as other people have. But maybe reflections from someone living an easier version of the game can help people think about little aspects of their own games, either from the actual thoughts or even just the process itself.

One of the thoughts that helps me is this: wobbling’s what makes Weebles Weebles. So as much as I’m sure people wish for care-free lives, I’m okay with there being some wobbling in mine. I might not actively seek out really wobbly situations, but if they’re there, they’re there, and they can help me be better. Eventually, perhaps, experience will let me bounce back quickly from minor disturbances (or even ignore them entirely); and more and more things will seem minor, too.

In the meantime, wobbling away!

Simplifying with Stoicism: examining negative feelings

The more I can master myself, the less I need, and the freer I am.

I dug into a collection of Epictetus’ discourses to learn more about Stoicism. While I’ve never been much worried about death and I’m unlikely to run into issues with jail, exile, or hemlock (!), I have a lot to learn about dealing with aversion and negative emotions. I live a happier and luckier life than most people do, and I wonder what it would be like with even more understanding.

How can I learn more about this through practice? I can start with negative feelings, then move to attachments, and then get even better at understanding what I do and don’t control.

Mapping a path to understanding Stoicism

Mapping a path to understanding Stoicism

When do I feel negative emotions? What situations disrupt my feelings? Mostly these emotions are directed at things or at myself: frustration with . I’m getting pretty good at not being perturbed by people, even though sometimes other people think I’m annoyed with them when I’m more annoyed with the situation. That said, I’m becoming less inclined to do the emotional work of reassuring people that it’s not about them, so sometimes I just take responsibility for what I can control and let them be responsible for their feelings.

Exploring negative feelings

Exploring negative feelings

Hmm. Frustration and annoyance tend to be outward-directed, while anxiety and embarrassment are internal. I can deal with frustration and annoyance by accepting that the world is what it is. Anxiety can be addressed by faith that things will work out, and embarrassment is just ego in disguise.

So what are those anxieties about, anyway? Let me dig into those further.

Recognizing potential fears

Recognizing potential fears

Come to think of it, there’s not much to be afraid of. I don’t have to worry about missing out. Life is pretty darn good even like this, and the rest is icing on the cake. Likewise, I don’t have to worry about falling short of expectations, since proper expectations are other people’s responsibilities. Messes and mistakes can teach me a lot. As for the fear that pressure or other forces might sway me into making bad decisions… Being able to recognize the warning signs will help me slow down, and mistakes are good for learning anyway.

The fear of falling short is at the root of the impostor syndrome, something I’ve written about a few times before. I remember reading about the impostor syndrome when I was in school, and recognizing myself in it. You might think that the validation of programming competitions, newspaper articles, and personal projects would boost my belief in myself, but that often made me feel even less like the image I thought people had of me.

Taking a closer look at the impostor syndrome

Taking a closer look at the impostor syndrome

But the impostor syndrome, too, might be ego disguised: part desire for validation, part aversion to embarrassment. If I can let go of both, I’ll be more free to concentrate on the things worth thinking about, and I can take better risks. So out to the curb they go.

As for the fear of missing out, of not quite doing enough… I’ve been thinking about how to learn more and how to increase the difference I want to make in this world. In particular, I want to get better at learning from people, which includes learning from coaches. I hear coaches are good for accelerating your growth. I’m careful about how I frame this to myself, because it’s much too easy to become unhappy with how you’re growing and to want more, more, more.

I realized that I could actually get a pretty good sense of what my life might look like in thirty to forty years, even if I continue in my current trajectory. My parents are in their sixties and I have other mentors around that age, so I know roughly what to expect. Assuming that my skills and tools stay roughly the same, I’m probably going to end up with an even bigger archive of ideas and notes. However, I already know what it’s like to have more notes than I can remember and more sketches than I can grasp. Even if I continue with the same strategies, things will probably already be wonderful. If I learn from experience, adapt to the changes in technology and society, and explore new ways of doing things, then it will be even better.

This means that I can probably let go of the fear of missing out, of not living up to my potential or not maximizing awesomeness. Life is already wonderful.

Extrapolating my futures

Extrapolating my futures

I like thinking through this in advance, when I can reason about them with a clear mind. When situations come up, at least I’ll have rehearsed some options. The real tests are when I’m tired or hungry or sleepy, or when something major happens. We’ll see. =) In the meantime, it’s good to look at the things I might unconsciously avoid looking at, to see what I can do to let them go.