Taking the Terror out of Talk

Does the thought of speaking in public make you anxious? Want some tips on how to deal with the butterflies in your stomach? Come to the Toast I.T. Toastmasters Open House on Oct 10, 2006 for a fun, informative session!

I'm giving one of the Toastmasters International educational modules called "Taking the Terror out of Talk". It will be part of the 229th meeting of Toast I.T. Toastmasters, so you'll also get to see a little bit of what Toastmasters is like.

This is free, so come on over!

Toast I.T. Toastmasters
Metro Hall
55 John Street, Toronto, Ontario (map)
Oct 10, 2006 (Tuesday)
6:00 PM - 8:00 PM

(And even if you're a polished public speaker, come anyway to show support and share tips! ;) )

Photo credit: Cherie, Creative Commons Attribution License, from Flickr.

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Toastmasters: Persuasion project 1

I did my first project from the advanced manual on persuasion. Learned a lot from it, too - and not necessarily what the manual might've wanted me to learn... <laugh>

They remarked once again on my lack of energy. I was too low-key for them. I decided not to use sugar-high-enthusiasm because I want to learn how to talk to suits. I'm good at enthusiasm. I can bounce up and down, wave pompoms, whatever. I need to learn how to speak to people's serious sides, not just amuse them with my antics and my enthusiasm. I need to learn how to provoke thought and establish credibility. I'm not going to be this young forever, and I want to learn how to speak properly by the time I need it!

Fortunately my evaluator also pointed out that I used a pleasant pace - accessible! - not like my usual rush of words. Still, this is the second time I've tried my serious voice on Toast I.T., and the reaction's always been iffy. They like me breathless with enthusiasm, bubbly, sparkling - but I'm more than that! I'm having a hard time getting past this with Toast I.T., even if I wear a blazer and glasses and everything. I want to be both. I want to blend seriousness and joy.

Maybe I can save my "low-key" voice for IBM Toastmasters. Hmm...

The three- to five-minute roleplay situation for me seemed constrained and unnatural. This is strange because I'm perfectly fine with elevator pitches. I think I just need to get better at roleplaying.

I should probably have tried selling something concrete that I wasn't too familiar with instead of selling something intangible. People seem to think that selling ideas is easier than selling something concrete because ideas don't cost money, they just cost time. I wish I could make _them_ try to sell other people on ideas. Time is money. In fact, time is a lot more expensive than the gadgets many people would casually throw money away on.

One Toastmaster was particularly vocal about my being an absolute failure at "real" sales and how I'd be fired right away if this was the real thing. He insisted that sales was a hypercompetitive, cutthroat world and that salespeople are paid tons because of the competition. Personally, I believe that salespeople are paid a lot because they clearly contribute to the bottom line in a quantifiable manner. I also suspect that any numbers-driven sales that's just concerned with how much the salesperson makes is totally not for me. I'm more interested in relationship building. Fortunately, my mentor called him to task and told him that there were other perfectly valid ways of selling.

... And this guy also wondered why I didn't have any flashy slides. After all, we all know that Powerpoint is _essential_ for sales. Mph. Well, he was trying to be helpful, and there _are_ some audiences that need a slide deck. For what I was doing, that was definitely out of the picture.

The same person thought I didn't control the conversation enough, and that I let my roleplay partner do too much of the talking. I thought I did too much talking and not enough listening. I felt that I broke into too many long passages, and I hate that. I feel that I'm most effective when I listen to people, suggesting something after I've understood their situation and validated them by paying attention to them. I hate it when people fake listening, when they just care about when they get to speak next. I hate it when people pretend they want a conversation with you but they really just want to sell you stuff and their message isn't individualized at all..

Wish I had my mom's books to whap the guy with! <laugh> Well, he _was_ just trying to be helpful, and _his_ world is probably the dog-eat-dog world he described. I'm 22 and I'm new to the subject, but I get the feeling that there aree zbetter things out there.

Oh well.

I think I know what I'm going to "sell" for project 2 - houses. Or whatever.

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Random Japanese sentence: 机の下から猫が出てきた。 A cat appeared from under the desk.

Toastmasters

I made it just in time to catch the Table Topics session at Toast I.T. Toastmasters. I nearly would've won with my impromptu speech about Japan, but Mike Tsang's jokes/insightful observations about India ("Chinese food in India is the same as what they serve in Indian restaurants in China.") won him the best Table Topics Award. =) I was glad that he came out!

Michael Chan gave a speech on first impressions. I talked to him afterwards to give him a more detailed evaluation and do the proper mentor-ish thing of telling him some of the things I learned from that speech, and we discovered that we had very similar book interests. He's also read things like "Never Eat Alone" and "Love is the Killer App". In fact, he goes to the trouble of publishing book reviews on Amazon. Must keep track of this guy. =)

I was proud of Chris Charabaruk, too, who stepped up and volunteered to evaluate Michael on his second speech despite just having finished his second speech as well. I talked to Chris afterwards to give him some feedback on his evaluation, too. I'm glad they're both making the most of the Toastmasters program!

We had our club elections today, too. I got acclaimed to the position of VP Ed, and I'm looking forward to helping everyone learn as much as they can... =)

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Random Japanese sentence: 犬が1匹、猫が1匹、カナリヤが3羽います。 We have a dog, a cat and three canaries.

Toastmasters

We had another executive meeting for Toast I.T. Toastmasters. I'm really glad to have this opportunity to serve the club as the secretary / treasurer, and I'm starting to get the hang of things. I'm planning to run for either VP education or VP membership in the upcoming elections. I know the position of vice president of education involves a lot of work - keeping track of people's progress, thinking of ways to help them improve their speaking skills - but that's exactly the kind of coaching I want to do. =) The VP of membership, on the other hand, is in charge of keeping in touch with members old and new, and reaching out to guests too. Either will really help me grow! =)

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Helping people find their voice

One of my friends scoffs at Toastmasters, but moments like this make it definitely worthwhile.

Today one of the members brought his girlfriend to listen to his first speech. The girl was painfully shy and clearly terrified of public speaking, even during the Table Topics and guest comments section.

She approached me afterwards, though. And oh, the stories I could see inside her... CN Tower Stair Climb T-shirt, colored bands around her wrists: these are the marks of someone who cares deeply about some things. I listened to her fears and shared my own experience learning how to speak - at first starting out because I couldn't stop talking about technology and I wanted to get into conferences for free, and then realizing how much fun it was to help people learn. I told her that the real trick to speaking in front of an audience - or at least in front of Toastmasters - is to speak to them one person at a time, treating them as your friends.

Most of all, I looked into her eyes and told her in many different ways that she had stories worth telling.

When I felt her tentatively reaching out, I closed the loop and we hugged. The hug was one of the best I've ever had, and her thank you one of the sweetest.

This is what I live for: that deep connection, that chance to help people find their voice.

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Random Japanese sentence: 猫がソファーでねむっている。 The cat is sleeping on the sofa.