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	><title>Sacha Chua - tag - confidence</title>
	<subtitle>Emacs, sketches, and life</subtitle>
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	<updated>2006-06-03T07:11:00Z</updated>
<entry>
		<title type="html">Anxiety</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sachachua.com/blog/2006/06/anxiety/"/>
		<author><name><![CDATA[Sacha Chua]]></name></author>
		<updated>2006-06-03T11:11:00Z</updated>
    <published>2006-06-03T07:11:00Z</published>
    <category term="blogging" />
<category term="purpose" />
		<id>https://sachachua.com/blog/?p=3571</id>
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<a href="http://flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=71593755&#038;size=s"><img border="0" src="http://static.flickr.com/20/71593755_4ac2705723_m.jpg" alt="Birds on wires"></a><p></p>
<div>Photo by Automatt, licensed under Creative Commons (Attribution)</div>
</table>
<p>After reading my post about <a href="https://sachachua.com/notebook/wiki/2006.05.31#8">being a girl</a>, one of my closest friends wrote:</p>
<blockquote><p>
I never thought you ever got such thoughts:</p>
<blockquote><p>
And when the shadows in my head whisper that I'm not as good as the others,<br>
not as geeky as the others, I drown them in Emacs Lisp. ;)
</p></blockquote>
<p>I always saw you as someone strong and has everything together &#8211; yeah like<br>
you are a hitchhiker with your towel with you all the time ;)</p>
<p>I get that a lot, the nagging thoughts that I am not as good as others.<br>
It's kinda tough when that happens because I still haven't figured out what<br>
my strengths are.  I am something like a Jack of all trades but a master of<br>
none. And that is something I have to live with everyday.
</p></blockquote>
<p>This is one of the reasons why I think out loud. I want to connect<br>
with other people on a deeper level. It is important to me to <b>be<br>
human</b>, approachable and understandable. This blog will not be a<br>
polished, professional archive of useful articles. It will have my<br>
cooking misadventures, my existential crises, my questions. My<br>
<i>issues</i>, as a friend put it. Yes, I have issues. Not very<br>
earth-shaking ones, mind you, but I have more questions than I have<br>
answers &#8211; and I love that!</p>
<p>I talk a lot about feeling insecure, but that's because I love looking<br>
for what I can learn from other people. I don't feel threatened as<br>
much as I feel inspired. My confidence is not a show that I put on for<br>
other people. When I'm in my element, the energy I get from people and<br>
from the situation fills me.</p>
<p>When I falter, friends help me remember. You help me remember who I am<br>
and why I'm here. My blog lets me go back and look over things in my<br>
own words, searching for similar times to find out what I did and how<br>
I resolved the situation.</p>
<p>Sometimes it may seem that I'm worried too much about how I measure up<br>
to other people (5'1/4&#8243;? ;) ) or that I feel too insecure. But hey, we<br>
all have different strengths, and I love exploring different things in<br>
order to find out how I can be of most benefit to the world. =)</p>
<p>(Besides, one of the cool things about this picture is that the bird on the lower line can see everything that's going on! ;) )</p>


<p>You can <a href="mailto:sacha@sachachua.com?subject=Comment%20on%20https%3A%2F%2Fsachachua.com%2Fblog%2F2006%2F06%2Fanxiety%2F&body=Name%20you%20want%20to%20be%20credited%20by%20(if%20any)%3A%20%0AMessage%3A%20%0ACan%20I%20share%20your%20comment%20so%20other%20people%20can%20learn%20from%20it%3F%20Yes%2FNo%0A">e-mail me at sacha@sachachua.com</a>.</p>]]></content>
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