Last night, I had an "I suck" moment. I mispronounced a word and felt very much like a newbie. Simon pointed out something similar before. He teases me about the fact that I use words like "thrice" instead of "three times". My language is more formal, bookish.
So yeah, I had an "I suck" moment, unhappy with my awkwardness.
I was about to clam up and have one of those hot chocolate days, but Simon listened to me and helped me figure out that little bug. That helped immensely. As we walked through a park, he reminded me that I'm new here, I'm from a different culture, and my errors are just like those of anyone who learned English primarily through reading.
Hmm. Come to think of it, that *is* true. Although my family speaks to me primarily in English and so do my friends, I just read and write so much that the way I think of words is visual, not auditory. I need to listen to more people, I think!
I explained how I felt, and I learned a bit more about myself. I remembered how I was much like that in grade school as well: nose buried in books, comfortable with more words than normal, but letting that vocabulary get in the way of communication. It's still something I need to work on.
Hmm. There's nothing wrong with being bookish. I should learn how to set people at ease so that they know I'm not trying to impress them with words...