Bonnie Jacobson, PhD., with Alexia Paul
2010 Adams Media, Avon, Massachusetts
ISBN 13: 978-1-60550-625-8

The book consists of short chapters that explore common conflicts and positive approaches in committed relationships. Each chapter includes one or two case studies, ways to recognize the conflict, and tips for resolving the conflict. This book is a good read for couples who are beginning to find themselves ensnared in repeating conflict patterns because they can identify and get tips for their situation. Couples who are starting out may also find it useful as a way to recognize potential conflicts before they become established.

• Flexibility
  
  

  Responsive	Reactive
  Good judgment	Critical judgment
  Expressing your true self	Conforming to a role
  Autonomy	Isolation
  Surrender	Submission
  Establishing space	Neglect
  Patience	Passivity
  Benign boundaries	Emotional tyranny
  Awareness of limits	Emotional recklessness
  Embracing change	Preserving the status quo

• Communication
  
  

  Taking responsibility	Blame
  Needs	Wants
  Detach	Withdraw
  Speaking up	Silence
  Giving the benefit of the doubt	Making assumptions
  Intimate listening	Hearing
  Influence	Control
  Constructive criticism	Destructive criticism

• Personal power
  
  

  Deciding	Craving
  Fighting fair	Fighting unfair
  Support	Protection
  Forgiving	Forgetting
  Good selfish	Bad selfish
  Family loyalty	Self-interest
  Joy	Happiness