I read Kristin Neff's Self-compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind (2011) on the recommendation of a friend who's been working through many of the issues addressed by the book. I liked the book's differentiation between self-esteem and self-compassion, and its exercises for acknowledging your inner critic and becoming kinder to yourself. The website (self-compassion.org) has MP3s for guided meditations and a hyperlinked bibliography of related research.

I've sketched the key points of the book below to make it easier to remember and share. Click on the image for a larger version that you can print if you want.

I've been thinking about self-compassion and self-care over the past few years, ever since I decided not to set up that taskmaster dynamic with myself. Instead of trying to force myself down one path or another, I chose to go along with myself, focusing on understanding and then slowly guiding myself. It seems to be working well. I can tell the difference between that and the approach many people seem to take (decision, guilt, shame, force), and I like the kind approach more.

It's good to be able to look at your negative internal monologue or the parts of yourself that you've been avoiding thinking about, become aware of what's going on, and work on reframing or transforming those thoughts. It's good to look at what you're resisting and figure out how you can embrace and move through that pain.

I've had a very easy life so far, compared to other people I know. I'm glad this book exists; the techniques will help me through the challenges that are sure to be ahead, and I hope they'll help other people too. Good book if you often beat yourself up, judge yourself harshly, or feel lost and frustrated.

Haven't read the book yet? You can buy it from Amazon (affiliate link) or get it from your favourite book sources.

Like this sketch? Check out sketchedbooks.com for more. Feel free to share – it's under the Creative Commons Attribution License, like the rest of my blog.