Building a people-rich environment for A-
| parentingA- has been learning people's names and how to interact with them, which is probably the key benefit of taking her on these trips. Lola has had some quality grandparenting time, even chasing after a delighted A- and exchanging kisses. The staff reward A- with lots of attention when she calls them by name. It took a few days for A- to warm up to Lolo Frank, but now she's excited to greet him too. She really likes being able to call people by name. She lights up so much.
I wonder what the equivalent thing could be in Toronto. I like that there's a large group of people here who can regularly, happily interact with A- whenever their lives intersect. Maybe if we visited W-‘s family more often? Hacklab was kinda like that for me, but I don't know how age-appropriate an electronics-heavy maker space would be (A- isn't quite good yet at washing her hands), and the relationships are different. Maybe I'll just have to build the kind of playgroup my sister had with “hockey cousins” (her former hockey teammates plus their kids). Warmer weather means more time at playgrounds, so maybe I can work on socializing. Long-term plan: make friends now so that I can invite people over next winter. It'll be easier once A- gets into social play, of course, but it's good to practice before then.
Maybe I can start posting in the neighbourhood parent group and invite people out. It's nice to spend time with other parents/caregivers. We can introduce each other, interact, share snacks, and watch out for each other's kiddos.
I'd go to the drop-in centres more, too, but A- gets a bit antsy. We'll keep trying. A- might be okay with checking out library story times. Hmm…
I can also pick up another tip from Kathy and start memorizing people's nametags or asking people's names. The librarians don't wear individual nametags. I can't remember if the supermarket cashiers do. Maybe something like, “We see you all the time! I'm Sacha. This is A-. A- is learning to have lots of fun recognizing people by name. May we ask your name so we can try to remember it?”
Hmm… I wonder what else I can do to build her that kind of people-rich environment. Daycare is one of the things people use for that kind of socialization, but then I miss out on the fun. :) It'll just have to be regular visits to places like the subway station, Riverdale Farm, and the Science Centre, a few meetups, plus more courage and attention on my part.
Maybe after the hundredth time I ask the name question, it will feel more natural. Still introverted, but willing to make an effort in case this is something A- finds fun and useful. If you happen to be in Toronto, please feel free to help me figure this out! :)
2 comments
daviding
2018-04-14T20:48:36ZMy wife took all of our sons to parent-child drop-in centers when they were prekindergarten. This accounts for a lot of their friendliness, and easy ability to fit in with a variety of groups. My wife noticed that a lot of teenaged mothers use the drop-ins, and wondered of we should be using such city services. From my perspective, I enjoy living in a mixed income, multicultural community, so my wife was sometimes a positive role model for others. I don't believe in socioeconomic or ethnic ghettos.
On travelling to the U.S., my sons noticed the race and class distinctions that are more invisible in Toronto. Coming from a positive, open childhood shapes their personalities into adulthood.
sachac
2018-04-15T01:54:49ZAha! When I started making a deliberate effort to socialize yesterday, I noticed that A- was anxious for about fifteen minutes before settling in. She wasn't crying to go home like she did at drop-in centres, though. Maybe I can test the idea by going to the drop-in centres further afield, possibly with other friends, staying there for some timett and helping her with her initial discomfort. She also seemed okay at drop-in centres if I timed my arrival for snack time.
I'm happy hanging out with families of different socioeconomic and ethnic backgrounds. Good way to share resources and ideas! I got the ROM membership that lets me take guests, and it's nice being able to share that with others. It would be pretty neat to work up to being social enough to I could make the Science Centre Galactic membership worthwhile.
I'm totally okay with using city resources like drop-in centres or workshops. It's important for their usage statistics, it offers something I can't easily replicate at home, and I get to pick people's brains or overhear interesting things. I also shamelessly use the library and the Children's Book Bank for many of the same reasons. I like the City of Toronto, and I want it to get even better at this sort of stuff!