I want to be able to relax and give A- space. I want to quiet my mind and just be, trusting that we'll both get enough out of being there. I want to let her have small falls and frustrations while boosting her sense of safety and resilience.

I still want to take notes and think about stuff, though, so I'll figure out that balance. Maybe I can get used to having a pen and paper in my back pocket, and I can figure out a workflow for those notes. Phone notes are easier to build on, though.

I want to get better at enhancing A-‘s delight: playing games with her, surprising her, using playfulness to defuse resistance. A little energy often prompts energy from her in a virtuous cycle.

I'm getting better at having more energy, and we're slowly collecting ideas that generally work with her. I'm peeling off self-consciousness and dialing down distractions. I think we can get the hang of this.

I want to eventually be more social. We'll all benefit from that, especially A-.

I can probably trust that A- will turn out all right. What do I want to get out of this?

• Equanimity practice: knowing that I can deal with the ups, downs, and surprises
• Secret stores of delight: little memories that I can use to strengthen my empathy and appreciation not only for A-, but also other people
• Playfulness and flexibility
• Notes, observational skills, knowledge
• Processes and workarounds to help me make the most of fragmented thoughts