This is a fascinating feeling. I'm not sure if I've blogged it before. There's fear, yes. I can feel the stress in the tightening of my ribcage, the shallowness of my breathing, the tension in my stomach.
But there's also exhilaration at the prospects in front of me: not just in terms of housing, but other things as well. Can I do it? I *will* do it... but can I do it as well as I plan? Can I have it all? So there's that excitement.
There's more here, though. There's the fun I had with programming competitions and puzzles and problem solving... Taking a knotty problem, pulling out pieces of it, simplifying it until it's manageable, and then going for it. This translates into a methodical management of risk.
And there's my trust in the safety net, my plans for the worst case scenarios.
One more: the acceptance of both future versions of myself: whether I succeed or fail.
If I can feel this way with small things, what more when I can trust myself with larger ones? =D Am I making too big a deal of it? I don't know; I'm certainly thinking a lot more about it than I think others do. If I make a big deal of it but still manage to come through, then that's cool - this trains me to work under pressure and for higher stakes even though my actual stakes are low. =)
Random Emacs symbol: keyboard-coding-system - Function: Return coding system specified for decoding keyboard input. - Variable: Specify coding system for keyboard input.