Category Archives: love

Permission to be sad, sir!

I went to the Gorey last Friday to visit Quinn and Jed (Leigh’s out of
town) and share what’s going on in my life. I needed company, and it
was the best place I could go and they were the best people I could go
to right then and there.

It’s incredibly cathartic, being given permission to be sad and
exploring my feelings with such insightful and accepting friends. They
shared stories from their experiences and helped draw out how I felt.
I felt sad, yes, but not for the initial reason that I supposed. At
the same time, they didn’t let me wallow in self-pity. They kept me
busy, happy, and well-fed (and full of chocolate!). Quinn wrote me a
beautiful letter, too, reminding me that while friends are good, they
are also a way for me to distract myself from what I may need to face
alone. Now that I’m back at Graduate House, I find myself more excited
about the future than I am sad or disappointed.

I moved to a new suite within Graduate House, and my Internet
connection here hasn’t gotten fully hooked up yet. I’m going to the
Gorey. Geek friends, wireless Internet, maybe even lunch and dinner
into the bargain… Sure, the lab’s just down the street, but the
Gorey’s worth the trip.

I’m so grateful to share this universe with people like them. I know
other friends would have loved to share that part of life with me as
well. There’ll be other times, other sorrows, other joys… and I’m
looking forward to all of it and sharing it with friends!

Random Emacs symbol: Custom-mode-menu – Command: Menu used in customization buffers. – Variable: Menu used in customization buffers.

Clarity

Simon and I are no longer in a romantic relationship. And as much as I
have the urge to go back and try to figure out how to make it work,
the best thing for me to do right now is declare a one month
moratorium on relationship-related stuff.

Random Emacs symbol: tramp-smb-send-command – Function: Send the COMMAND to USER at HOST (logged into an SMB session).

Melt

Simon’s parents are God’s gift to cats, really. Who else would get
outdoor heating pads to make winter a little more bearable for feral
cats? Awwww…

Random Emacs symbol: ido-all-frames – Variable: *Argument to pass to `walk-windows’ when finding visible files.

My sister’s in love!

Synchronized movie dates, daily webcam chats, endless retellings of
favorite moments—my sister’s in love, and distance is not a problem!
They’re really so sweet, which should come as a bit of a surprise to
anyone who knows my sister. I don’t know if I could let myself have
something that intense right now (or if our parents could put up with
*two* lovesick girls without going into diabetic shock). Still, it’s
wonderful… =)

Random Emacs symbol: visible-mode – Command: Toggle Visible mode. – Variable: Non-nil if Visible mode is enabled.

Getting to know you

“Simon on the phone is okay,” said my dad. “If you can talk for three
hours, you must be in love.”

I grinned.

I want my family to get to know him, and for him to get to know my
family. Not because this is a Very Serious Thing, but because it’s…
well… nice. =) Living-room conversations are fun.

Random Emacs symbol: eshell-begin-on-new-line – Function: This function outputs a newline if not at beginning of line.

On hold

You think that of all people, Simon and I would be able to find some
way to talk for free (or as nearly free as possible). He’s a telecoms
geek who regularly talks to an outsourcing company based in the
Philippines. I’m a social computing geek who occasionally talked to my
mom while I was in Canada. But we can’t seem to get things to work,
and the unreliability of my Net access is starting to get to me.

I miss him. I find myself with stories to share, but unable to
tell them because of the time difference and communication
difficulties. He doesn’t blog, so I don’t know what’s going on over
there. E-mail gets buried under the mess of our inboxes.

Would it be better to stop fighting the limitations of technology, and
even savor the distance? I bought a complete set of beautiful,
evocative cards: a series of traditional Filipino silhouettes. Maybe
we can even celebrate the distance. It will be something to remember,
for sure.

My worlds are split, and I can’t live well if I keep feeling
mis-placed. I need to learn how to make the most of my time wherever I
am, and not think of what is outside my reach…

Random Emacs symbol: gnus-article-strip-all-blank-lines – Command: Strip all blank lines.