Category Archives: family

Thoughts on getting a membership to the Royal Ontario Museum (ROM)

I’ve been building up a small opportunity fund for A- so that it’s easy to take chances on memberships, classes, books, and other good things. After some consideration, I decided to use some of it for a membership to the Royal Ontario Museum. We’ve been working on animal names and sounds, so I figured it would be good to point to animals in addition to pictures in books, Duplo pieces, and small models at the early years centres.

The ROM turned out to be a nice quiet place to walk around and contemplate the vastness of history, A-‘s thirteen months of existence a blink contrasted with millennia. I picked up all sorts of tidbits as I tag along on tours, too, and I’m working on getting better at identifying animals myself. (I could probably spend a few years in the bird section!)

What do I want from the ROM?

  • I want to develop a deeper appreciation of our place in history and nature, and I want to be able to share that with A- as she grows.
  • I want to train my eye to recognize and differentiate various things.
  • I want to pick up more words and share them with A-.
  • I want to learn stories and tidbits that I can share with A- and W-.
  • I want a quiet, sheltered, spacious place to walk with A- or hang out with friends. I want to have interesting things to look at and chat about.
  • I want to expose A- to different sights, sounds, and textures. Sometimes they have smellable exhibits, too.
  • I want A- to feel at home in the museum instead of it being just a destination for school field trips.
  • I want to have something to offer to other parents and friends.
  • I want to support culture.

The benefits are mostly for me at the moment, but I hope this will pay off when A- starts asking questions about the world or learning about history. It might be handy for helping her increase her vocabulary and see how the world is connected. I’m still going to prioritize hands-on learning for her, since she needs to exercise all her senses, but I think the museum might add something useful to the mix. That means I should take notes (and perhaps photos) so that I can jog my memory, and I should slow down and point to things while naming them multiple times, paying special attention to exhibits at her eye level. I’d like to make it out to the museum at least once a week, ideally inviting other people along.

Now is a good time to bring A-, actually. It’s still a bit cold and rainy, so it’s better to be indoors than at a park or playground. She’s not walking independently yet, so she usually doesn’t mind hanging out in the carrier and nursing on the go. That gives me an opportunity to join tours or read labels, and then I can think about those things when she gets antsy and wants to walk around while I hold her hand. She toddled around the Ancient Egypt exhibit quite happily, and I could still hear some of the tour guide’s stories even though A- sometimes took me around corners. Come to think of it, A- seemed to warm up to the place faster than she usually does at the early years centres. Maybe she prefers to be more reserved when there are lots of active kids. She’s still a bit hesitant to touch strange things, but that might pass in time.

The math: The curator’s circle membership I signed up for lets me take three guests and four kids, includes free coat check, and costs $189. The social level of membership allows one guest and costs $149, so +$40 gets you free coat check and the ability to bring two additional guests and four children (4 <= age <= 17). Half of a two-year solo membership is $86, so +$63 gets you the ability to bring in one guest each time you come. An adult ticket is $20 (+$10 for the special exhibition), so the solo membership breaks even after one visit that includes the special exhibition plus three visits without. The premium for the social membership works after three guest visits including the special exhibition, and the premium for the curator’s circle membership works after two extra guests including the special exhibition, or lots of coat check use. (The member price of $1 per item would’ve added up quite a bit given all these coats and diaper bags!) Yay math! And now it’s a sunk cost, so I can just treat it as an investment in cultural knowledge and potential social interaction.

Among the things I learned this week:

  • Blue whales are huge! Standing next to the skeleton of one is a great way to realize how tiny you are.
  • Noise pollution is a challenge for whales.
  • Whales have really big poop flumes which can be seen from airplanes. The poop is bright orange because they eat krill, and krill is bright orange.
  • Bootlace worms are very long.
  • Researchers solve interesting puzzles with incomplete pieces. I liked how they pieced together the evolutionary history for whales with the help of Pakicetus. They also have to deal with weird one-off fossils like the Toronto subway deer – cool stuff!
  • You can differentiate between mastodon and mammoth skeletons by looking at the lower tusks, the curvature of the big tusks, at whether the teeth are cusp-shaped or smooth.
  • Cartonnage (linen and plaster) gave the Egyptians an alternative way to encase their mummies, since wood was scarce.
  • Chinese roof tiles could be quite elaborate and well-preserved. The designs were strictly regulated in some places and more free-form in others.

I’d like to go again on Tuesday and/or Friday, depending on A-. More to learn!

Helping with physics

J-‘s grade 12 physics exam is tomorrow. She’s been working through the exam review sheets that her teacher gave the class: forces, friction, gravity, relativity. The review sheets give the expected answers, so she can check her work. She asks for help when she can’t figure out how to solve the problems, or when her solution doesn’t match up with the provided answer.

I’m usually the one to help with homework, since I can speed-read tutorials to refresh my memory or dig into a new topic. Sometimes it’s just a matter of nudging her towards one equation or another, or pointing out where she forgot to square a number or change a sign.

Sometimes we’re both stumped, when my calculations show her math looks reasonable and I don’t see why the answer should be different. This has happened a number of times in Physics. We’ve asked her to talk to her teacher and ask him to help her step-by-step, but she hasn’t gone yet. Maybe she feels a little intimidated, or maybe lunch break is too crowded, or maybe he’s hard to track down?

Fortunately, her physics teacher seems to be in the habit of reusing material posted online. When I search for the text of the question, I can sometimes find other people who have asked for help with the same problem, or a review sheet from a different school.

For example, we were getting stuck on a problem that started with “A fuzzy Velcro ball of mass 200 g strikes and sticks to a Velcro block (100 g)…” We solved it in a way that made sense to us, but our answer didn’t agree with the one provided by her physics teacher. The only search result on Google was this sheet of practice questions. It didn’t contain any solutions, though, so I nearly gave up there.

After making some headway on other problems, though, I thought I’d come back to that one and see if we could turn up additional resources. You can sometimes get to interesting places when you start playing around with URLs. The file’s top-level domain is a public wiki for Rosedale Heights School of the Arts. The exam review on the sidebar didn’t match the exam practice document we were looking at, but a search through the Pages and Files section for June 2014 (which I picked up from the practice questions filename) turned up worked-out solutions. It confirmed that our answers and our methods were correct, and that the answer provided by J-‘s teacher was wrong. Maybe it was a typo, maybe he made a mistake, whatever. I can sympathize; I’ve made my share of mistakes as a teacher! Anyway, I’m glad J- asked for help and that we could clear up that mystery.

2016-01-25d Helping with physics exam review -- index card #studying #tutoring #family #school

We should probably bring it to the attention of J-‘s teacher at some point. Incorrect review answers can lead to lots of frustration, second-guessing, and a lack of confidence. Maybe W- can mention it at the next parent-teacher interview, or J- can talk to her teacher after the exam. Anyway, I guess it’s a good lesson in dealing with fallability, being resourceful, double-checking, and sometimes just trusting yourself anyway.

Shopping for clothes

We took J- shopping for clothes on Friday afternoon, going through the stores in the Eaton Centre at a leisurely pace. Her mom takes her shopping from time to time, but neither W- nor I are into shopping aside from the occasional drop-off-and-browse at the thrift store, so J-‘s wardrobe updates at our house had been mostly what she could get at the thrift store or on her shopping trips with friends. But it is good to spend time together and take more interest in her life, so here we are.

It’s not that bad – actually all right, even. I’m wearing comfortable shoes, I have my phone, and I like hanging out with W- and J-. If I had planned a little better, I would have left my laptop at home, but it’s not that heavy.

W- and I mostly stay in the background, offering the occasional comment or drawing J-‘s attention to the kinds of things she’s looking for. She’s better at choosing clothes than I was at her age (or am, even at mine!) – she has some idea of what she wants, and can shop around to find things that could work. In the meantime, W- and I are happy to trail behind, helping her learn to ask for assistance and explore her options.

Hmm. This must be one of those moments that help people see the passage of time and notice the differences that are hard to notice day by day. I can see how people might reflect on that while trying to find clothes that fit changing lengths and widths. I think I understand a little bit more now. Kinda nice, just helping J- shop. I remember how my parents used to take us to the mall for the things we needed or wanted. I think I’m starting to understand them better. How wonderful!

Wonton movie marathon

imageJuly 1 is Canada Day, so we have a three-day weekend. No big plans, aside from cooking enough to fill our freezer and spending some time hanging out with W-‘s family.

Yesterday, we biked to three libraries to see what they had in stock, picking up books and movies to help us pass the time during the long weekend. The haul included eight movies and one TV series, a bucketload of business books, and a number of comic books.

As the librarian scanned the last item in my pile (the 40th anniversary edition of Mary Poppins), she told me: “That’s going to put you over the 50-item limit.”

I puppy-dog-eyed my husband, who dutifully handed over his library card so that the remaining item could be checked out under his name. (Technically, we have access to each other’s account, so I could’ve checked it out without him. It’s easier to use his physical card, though.)

We unloaded the books, then headed over to stock up on groceries. Our favourite wonton wrappers were back, so it was settled: a wonton-making marathon.

We moved the dining table into the living room. We had to disassemble the table in order to fit it through the narrow door, but it was worth it. Last time we made a ton of wontons, we sat on the couch and leaned forward to work on the coffee table. The dining table was much better, ergonomically speaking. No back aches or neck aches.

The packages of wonton wrappers we get usually contain 74 wrappers each, although some have as few as 62 usable ones. We filled each wrapper with a teaspoon of the meat mix (pork, shrimp, green onions, garlic, ginger, soy sauce, sesame oil, salt, pepper), sealed it with a dab of water, and folded it into the characteristic wonton shape. We boiled each set in two batches, cooled the wontons in water, and then scooped the wontons into our standard food containers: 15-16 wontons, roughly 260 grams. Naturally, we had to test some from each batch for quality control.

We used to cram the containers full before, but our consumption rate was way too high. (No one ever leaves extra wontons in the container.)

This is what we do with our long weekends. =) Fun!

Good influences in partnerships

I used to worry that relationships would distract me from what I want or need to do, but it turns out that marriage can be a wonderful influence. For example, my life is healthier than it probably would have been without W-. His experience as a bike courier and the trips we took together helped me gain the confidence to make biking my regular commuting method. (In city traffic, even!) I’ve graduated to thinking of rain as no barrier to biking, especially bundled up in my rain jacket, rain pants, and rain boots. (Not thunderstorms or snow yet; those are still scary.)

Yogurt was one of those things I never really liked eating before, although W- likes plain yogurt. Now we have a daily habit of eating yogurt. We started with packages of fruit-bottom yogurt, and now I’ve graduated to a bowl of plain yogurt swirled with home-made apricot syrup. Someday I might even grow to like unsweetened yogurt.

There are all sorts of skills I’d never try out on my own, too. We’ve built ourselves Adirondack chairs and a cage around our vegetables. I’ve helped patch and repaint things inside and outside the house. We recently poured a concrete post to support the deck (one of the posts was rotting). Now we’re learning how to properly lay patio stones on a bed of gravel.

W- is helping me build my exercise habits, too. The krav maga classes are a bit intimidating for me, so we’re working on building up my strength and confidence through workouts at home. I feel a little self-conscious about it being slow going, but he says it’s worth the time investment for him to help me turn it into a self-sustaining habit. 

As for me, I influence him to take notes, track his finances, and make frugal decisions. I’m good at wording things, too. He’s older than I am, so in the beginning I wasn’t sure if there was anything I could help him learn or improve, but it turns out that I have things to share too.

I don’t know if my friends could influence me in these ways. I don’t see people often enough, I think, and it would be weird for friends to nudge me into, say, eating yogurt more often. W- and I are in it for the long haul, so it makes sense to invest in skills and habits that make it better over time.  Why does it work?

Good habits rubbing off on each other: I can see W- regularly exercising and getting a kick out of it, and he can help me start getting the hang of it. I talk about decisions and my decision-making processes, and he asks me questions about investing.

Encouragement and positive reinforcement: I enjoy biking, but other forms of exercise are still in the “this is hard work, a little scary, and not at all fun!” phase. I am totally fine with hacking my motivation by turning it into a social thing, an “exercise date” at home.

Consistency: The other night, I was the one who reminded him that he skipped the previous night’s yogurt. We remember things for each other, and we can cheer each other on.

Maybe this is one of the things that partnerships are about. It’s pretty cool!

It might be interesting to get better at the meta-skill of getting better together. The better we get at being good influences for each other, the more we can improve our lives. This probably means being more conscious and deliberate about things we want to learn or habits we want to pick up, improving the way we communicate with and motivate each other, and maybe tracking the consistency and success of these changes so that we can celebrate or course-correct.

Onward and upward!