Hi Sacha, Thank you for your candid post.

I do think that we tend to put too much emphasis on our "weaknesses". We should celebrate more what we are good at and see the rest as work in progress. Plus, those 'weaknesses' may turn out to be 'strengths' in a different context - for instance, a low-ish pain threshold may actually keep you safe; or, it can encourage you to explore alternative forms of exercise or living that turn out to be best for you or where you can meet people that have more in common with you.

But if you really want to tackle those 'work in progress' areas, then you need to dig a little deeper than what you are doing here to understand what exactly makes you uncomfortable. For instance, the difficulty in enjoying people's company (in person, as opposed to face to face) could have to do with the ability of dipping in and out of conversations (easy to do online, not so easy in person and you often find yourself stuck talking about topics that you are have no interest in). In may case, I used to be very puzzled that sometimes I loved to be with people and felt energised by their company but, on other occasions I would hate it and would leave the conversation feeling totally drained. To cut a long story short, I realised that I enjoyed to be with people that are future oriented (e.g., talking about plans for tomorrow, or what might happen next year), as opposed to people always talking about the past (specially those that always moan about good things used to be in the 'olden days'). So, it's not the people, it's the type of interaction.

From what I can see, you are doing great. I have even been inspired by your challenge to grow your own vegetables and herbs :-)

My advice is to go into a local boxing gym, try to find or ask around if there's one that holds group sessions focusing on endurance and strength. Ask if you can come and watch for a session, then next time they have another session; try to join in and just go through the motions, in your own pace... Just be humble and learn their world.., Just wanted to share something; while i been struggling with my own issues, my .org files are a complete mess; >_> gona try to dig up your old notes, i saw somewhere before on how you organize it all, i have a habit of piling my stuff into 1 or 2 files :)

Hi Sasha,
I don't know if my additions are helpful but I had some thoughts when I read your post.
Personally I tend to the 2nd set of paths. My experience is, that in life there will always come a time, when some specific thing comes easy (is easy to do) (english is not my first language). E.g there are times in life when I'm able to spend (more/a lot/ some) time with friends, then maybe the other year it is easy to do work (but I don't have time to meet other people often). This sounds a bit silly but what I mean is, there are people who always want the thing they don't have atm instead of going with the flow and appreciate the current set of circumstances.

This should not be mistaken as a lay-back do nothing attitude. It is always important to do something. Like in your post about tools. It is not so important which tools to use, but use one at all.
So for example with the sports, don't choose the sport which feels hard but try some (or better a lot) out which involve movement and then do the one which you enjoy most. Skiing is very different from aquagym / boxing / cycling / beach volleyball / yoga / gym. I like table-tennis and snowboarding a lot.
While they are very different they all improve fitness.

Concerning long-term commitments I think I can basically repeat myself. E.g I couldn't imagine to life in a flat with my gf still after we had been together for some years. But all of a sudden, I was ready for it.
Also I did know I want to have a baby at some point but it always felt not quite right. Without any mind-change at some point I was ready to say: If you'll be pregnant, I'm fine with it. My son is now 2 years.

With the people is probably the most difficult. If you like to know my opinion let me know. In any case: thanks for sharing your thoughts. They are helpful and inspiring.

Silvio

"Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth making these changes." Good, because I think a good follow-on post to this would be "Becoming the sort of person I Am."

BTW, pain is never a good thing, and if it occurs when you exercise, you're either doing it wrong or you have inflammation in the area. But exercise is very important for optimal brain function, so I hope you'll find an exercise that's painless yet requires enough effort to increase your heart rate.