I'm coming up to the 4-year mark of this 5-year experiment with semi-retirement. The start of the final year might even neatly coincide with the next substantial change I've been planning. I've been very lucky to have had this opportunity to explore, and it's a good opportunity to reflect on self-direction and leisure.

This past year has been a little like the openness of my final year of university, when my habit of taking summer courses freed up half the typical academic load for the schoolyear and I had plenty of time to explore open source development. This time, I had even more autonomy. No exams to study for, no projects to submit; just choices.

I'm learning that my physical state strongly influences my mental state, which then strongly influences how I use my time and how I feel about that use. If I'm tired or fuzzy-brained, I won't get a lot done. I've learned to make better use of fuzzy-brained times by keeping a list of small tasks I can do, like housework. I invest some of my alert time in building the systems and processes to help me when I'm fuzzy-brained, too. Long-term, I'm probably well-served by investing more time in health. I'll rest when I need to. Beyond that, if my mind's not as active or as energetic as I'd like, there's always working on my energy.

I feel particularly good when I use my discretionary time to:

• contribute to the Emacs community by organizing resources, writing code or posts, answering questions, and experimenting with ideas
• build tools for myself (interfaces, scripts, etc.), especially if I can learn more about libraries or frameworks
• dig deeper into thoughts through a combination of drawing and writing
• sew something, especially if I end up using it a lot
• research, plan, and take notes
• work on other skills
• watch or read something informative/interesting/useful, particularly if it's practical or skill-related

I feel good when I:

• declutter, organize, document, and/or improve our routines, files, and other resources
• cook something yummy (mostly focusing on familiar recipes at the moment, but I'm looking forward to exploring more)
• play video games with W-, especially when we pick up new in-jokes or when we pull off neat tricks when beating the enemies
• keep the household running
• go for a long walk, especially with a useful destination and an interesting podcast to listen to or a question to think about
• stretch a little or do whatever exercises I can
• watch a good movie with W-, especially when it results in more in-jokes or an appreciation of how the movie is put together

On the other hand, I feel like time's just passing when I:

• write, but not end up posting my notes (although it's a little bit better if I organize them for later review)
• read casually, without a particular application or goal: books, e-books, the Internet
• play games, especially if there's not much sense of progress

I've come to enjoy a lot of different kinds of discretionary time. I think I don't need a lot of pure leisure, at least not the vegging-out kind. I definitely like having a lot of discretionary time – to be able to choose what to do when – but even the things we do for day-to-day living can be enjoyable.

I will probably have less absolute time for leisure and less control of my time in general, but I think I'll be okay. Because of this experiment, I've been learning that time probably isn't my limiting factor when it comes to things like writing or learning or making things. It's probably more about curiosity, observation, motivation, and experience, and those are things that I can develop through the years.

Related:

• Moving past getting things done
• A reflection on otium