Categories: time

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Looking at my time data from 2012 to 2025

| quantified, time, life

Assumed audience:

  • @tagomago, who was curious about what a typical weekday looked like before I became a parent, following up on my post
  • people who track time, especially my fellow Quantified Self geeks
  • my future self, looking back even further on time and change

This is a long post without any particularly ground-breaking insights; more along the lines of "water is wet" (taking care of a kid reduces free time, to no one's surprise). I suppose not a lot of people have 13+ years of time data to analyze, though, so there's some coolness in that. Also, I'm a little proud of the fact that I got the graphs to show up nicely even under EWW, so they work without Javascript. If you view this post on my blog with Javascript enabled, there should be user-interface niceties like being able to switch between years.

I wrote a web-based time tracker back in late 2011 because I was curious about how I was actually using my time. I'd already started planning my 5-year experiment with semi-retirement. I knew that time-tracking was going to be useful for that, especially since I figured consulting was going to be part of it. I had been tracking my time with Tap Log for Android, but writing my own system allowed me to fit it to the way I wanted it to work. 2012 was my first full year of data with it. My time data includes a little bit of my work at IBM, all of my experiment with semi-retirement, and my time as a parent. Time-tracking was something that a number of people in the Quantified Self community were also exploring, so I had fun bouncing ideas and visualizations off other people. At some point, I nudged my categories a little closer to the time use studies I read. (Ooh, I should revisit these…)

I use a hierarchy of categories. Each time segment can have only one category, even if I might combine something like childcare and biking. The hierarchy lets me report at the high level while also letting me break things down further. I can add a note to a segment in order to capture even more detail, like the way that clocking in from my Org Mode tasks automatically fills in the time tracker's note with the task name. It takes me just a few taps to record my data most of the time. If I need to backdate something, I can use a couple more taps to select common time offsets (say, around 5 minutes ago). I can also type in some text to select an uncommon category or specify a different offset.

The data isn't 100% perfect, of course. Sometimes I created an entry a few minutes late or guessed when something started. Sometimes I forgot to track when I went to sleep or when I woke up. Despite the occasionally messy data, it gives me a pretty good idea of the rough categories of my day.

For the time graphs below, each column is one day, starting at midnight. All times are displayed in the America/Toronto time zone, with the occasional indent or outdent because of daylight savings time. Legend:

pinkA+ (childcare)
yellowBusiness - Connect
redBusiness / Work
greenDiscretionary - Play
blueDiscretionary - Productive
dark blueDiscretionary - Productive - Emacs
yellowDiscretionary - Social
purplePersonal
graySleep
orangeUnpaid work

If you click on the graph images, you should be able to get the SVG for each year, which will let you hover over segments for more details in the tooltips. Each SVG is about 1-4 MB, so I didn't want to include them all inline.

Here are some overall graphs of each year, as a sample weekday, and some notes on what was going on in my life then.

2012

2012

Sample weekday: 2012-04-25

22:06 - 06:32: Sleep21:33 - 22:06: Discretionary - Productive - Latin21:03 - 21:33: Unpaid work - Cook20:03 - 21:03: Personal - Walk - Other19:45 - 20:03: Discretionary - Social19:18 - 19:45: Personal - Routines19:18 - 19:18: Personal - Routines18:31 - 19:18: Unpaid work - Tidy up17:08 - 18:31: Personal - Bike08:55 - 17:08: Business - Earn - Consulting - E1 - General08:19 - 08:55: Personal - Bike07:01 - 08:19: Personal - Routines22:23 - 07:01: Sleep

In February 2012, I started my experiment with semi-retirement, shifting from working for IBM to consulting for a couple of clients. My week was still fairly typical, since I planned for 4-5 days of consulting each week. I usually biked or took the subway to the office, where I did some coding or consulting around enterprise social computing.

I wanted to experiment with different business models, so I also started doing some professional sketchnoting and illustration. I guess people liked stick figures. I did a few events here and there, but the semi- part of my semi-retirement was mostly consulting around enterprise social computing, collaboration and technology adoption, Javascript prototyping, and SQL queries.

2012 yearly review

2013

2013

Sample weekday: 2013-04-26

23:37 - 10:17: Sleep23:12 - 23:37: Discretionary - Play - Read - Fiction22:50 - 23:12: Personal - Routines20:50 - 22:50: Discretionary - Family20:33 - 20:50: Personal - Eat - Dinner20:11 - 20:33: Discretionary - Family19:07 - 20:11: Discretionary - Productive - Writing18:57 - 19:07: Unpaid work - Cook18:28 - 18:57: Personal - Walk - Other18:01 - 18:28: Discretionary - Productive - Writing17:00 - 18:01: Business - Build - Paperwork15:47 - 17:00: Business - Connect - Connecting12:00 - 15:47: Business - Earn - Consulting - E1 - General11:20 - 12:00: Unpaid work - Groceries09:06 - 11:20: Business - Earn - Consulting - E1 - General08:39 - 09:06: Personal - Routines23:52 - 08:39: Sleep

I continued to do a lot of consulting, but I started letting myself do some more fun stuff like Emacs and hanging out. The offset part towards the end of the year is when we went to the Philippines to visit family and attend a friend's wedding.

2013 yearly review

2014

2014

Sample weekday: 2014-04-21

23:38 - 00:18: Personal - Routines23:18 - 23:38: Discretionary - Play - Read - Blogs23:12 - 23:18: Personal - Routines19:44 - 23:12: Discretionary - Play - LEGO Marvel19:20 - 19:44: Discretionary - Productive - Gardening19:00 - 19:20: Personal - Eat - Dinner18:27 - 19:00: Discretionary - Play - LEGO Marvel18:25 - 18:27: Discretionary - Productive - Emacs18:23 - 18:25: Discretionary - Play - LEGO Marvel18:00 - 18:23: Unpaid work - Cook17:46 - 18:00: Unpaid work - Cook16:52 - 17:46: Discretionary - Productive - Emacs16:49 - 16:52: Discretionary - Productive - Emacs16:48 - 16:49: Unpaid work - Cook16:13 - 16:48: Discretionary - Productive - Emacs15:32 - 16:13: Discretionary - Productive - Emacs14:23 - 15:32: Business - Build - Delegation13:57 - 14:23: Business - Connect - Connecting13:21 - 13:57: Personal - Eat - Lunch13:16 - 13:21: Discretionary - Productive - Latin12:42 - 13:16: Business - Build - Delegation12:14 - 12:42: Discretionary - Productive - Writing09:54 - 12:14: Business - Build - Quantified Awesome09:21 - 09:54: Personal - Routines01:05 - 09:21: Sleep00:42 - 01:05: Personal - Routines23:37 - 00:42: Business - Build - Quantified Awesome

I ratcheted consulting down further and I gave myself permission to work on more of my own things. I enjoyed hanging out at Hacklab.to.

2014 yearly review

2015

2015

Sample weekday: 2015-05-27

23:49 - 07:55: Sleep23:30 - 23:49: Personal - Routines22:09 - 23:30: Discretionary - Play - Relax21:24 - 22:09: Discretionary - Productive - Drawing20:23 - 21:24: Discretionary - Play - Relax20:08 - 20:23: Personal - Routines19:01 - 20:08: Unpaid work - Clean the kitchen18:47 - 19:01: Personal - Eat - Dinner18:08 - 18:47: Unpaid work - Cook16:06 - 18:08: Business - Build - Quantified Awesome14:27 - 16:06: Business - Build - Quantified Awesome12:02 - 14:27: Discretionary - Play - Ni no Kuni11:37 - 12:02: Personal - Eat - Lunch10:27 - 11:37: Business - Build - Quantified Awesome08:59 - 10:27: Business - Build - Quantified Awesome07:24 - 08:59: Personal - Routines00:36 - 07:24: Sleep23:11 - 00:36: Personal - Routines

I continued to hang out at Hacklab and work on my own stuff, with a little bit of consulting. Towards the latter part of 2015 and the early part of 2016, I felt quite tired because of pregnancy, so I spent a lot more time relaxing.

2015 yearly review

2016

2016

Sample weekday: 2016-04-21

23:46 - 00:15: A+ - Childcare22:51 - 23:46: Sleep22:14 - 22:51: A+ - Childcare21:29 - 22:14: Personal - Routines21:26 - 21:29: Sleep21:14 - 21:26: A+ - Childcare21:11 - 21:14: Personal - Routines21:01 - 21:11: Unpaid work - Clean the kitchen20:40 - 21:01: A+ - Childcare20:20 - 20:40: Personal - Eat - Dinner19:56 - 20:20: Discretionary - Productive - Coding19:26 - 19:56: A+ - Childcare19:04 - 19:26: Discretionary - Productive - Drawing18:23 - 19:04: A+ - Childcare17:57 - 18:23: A+ - Childcare17:27 - 17:57: Business - Build - Paperwork16:57 - 17:27: Discretionary - Social16:26 - 16:57: Personal - Routines16:11 - 16:26: A+ - Childcare15:48 - 16:11: Discretionary - Productive - Tracking14:57 - 15:48: Personal - Walk - Other14:30 - 14:57: A+ - Childcare13:48 - 14:30: Discretionary - Productive - Coding13:00 - 13:48: Discretionary - Productive - Coding12:55 - 13:00: Discretionary - Productive - Coding12:47 - 12:55: Discretionary - Productive - Coding12:27 - 12:47: A+ - Childcare12:27 - 12:27: Discretionary - Productive - Coding12:11 - 12:27: Business - Connect - Connecting11:26 - 12:11: Unpaid work - Laundry11:22 - 11:26: Sleep11:22 - 11:22: Unpaid work - Clean the kitchen11:20 - 11:22: A+ - Childcare11:03 - 11:20: A+ - Childcare11:03 - 11:03: Personal - Plan10:13 - 11:03: Personal - Routines09:56 - 10:13: A+ - Childcare05:30 - 09:56: Sleep05:02 - 05:30: A+ - Childcare02:45 - 05:02: Sleep02:38 - 02:45: A+ - Childcare02:38 - 02:38: A+ - Childcare02:28 - 02:38: A+ - Childcare00:10 - 02:28: Sleep23:49 - 00:10: Sleep

In February, A+ was born. Here's the obligatory visualization of how my sleep shattered into a million pieces and childcare took over my days and nights. If you have ever been the primary caregiver of an infant, you'll know what this is like.

Year Sleep % Avg hours / day
2012 34.6 8.3
2013 36.7 8.8
2014 36.9 8.9
2015 38.1 9.1
2016 34.9 8.4
2017 32.5 7.8

… Sure didn't feel like 8.4 hours a day. Not enough continuous sleep, definitely foggy-brained. Although to be fair, babies also sleep a lot, and I tried to sleep during that time too.

Towards the end of the year, we took A+ to the Philippines to see family. We tried to do the usual short layover and that was miserable because of sleep deprivation, so our other flights included an overnight layover.

I decided that doing my yearly review twice a year was a bit excessive, so I moved to doing it in August for my birthday. This year was split between life as a 32-year-old and a 33-year-old.

2017

2017

Sample weekday: 2017-04-25

23:49 - 01:03: A+ - Childcare23:04 - 23:49: A+ - Childcare22:48 - 23:04: Personal - Eat - Dinner22:32 - 22:48: A+ - Childcare22:19 - 22:32: Personal - Routines20:11 - 22:19: Sleep19:39 - 20:11: A+ - Childcare19:10 - 19:39: A+ - Childcare18:52 - 19:10: Personal - Routines18:48 - 18:52: A+ - Childcare18:12 - 18:48: A+ - Childcare16:44 - 18:12: Unpaid work - Subway14:56 - 16:44: Personal - Walk - Other13:53 - 14:56: Unpaid work - Subway12:36 - 13:53: A+ - Childcare12:27 - 12:36: A+ - Childcare12:03 - 12:27: Personal - Walk - Other11:34 - 12:03: A+ - Childcare11:22 - 11:34: Personal - Routines10:55 - 11:22: Unpaid work - Clean the kitchen10:30 - 10:55: Personal - Eat - Breakfast09:33 - 10:30: Unpaid work - Cook09:28 - 09:33: A+ - Childcare02:31 - 09:28: Sleep01:20 - 02:31: Discretionary - Play - Relax00:58 - 01:20: Discretionary - Productive - Tracking00:43 - 00:58: Personal - Plan00:38 - 00:43: A+ - Childcare00:25 - 00:38: A+ - Childcare00:23 - 00:25: Personal - Plan00:08 - 00:23: A+ - Childcare23:38 - 00:08: Personal - Plan

More childcare. We often went to playgrounds, libraries, EarlyON early childhood centres, museums, and the Ontario Science Centre. I often needed a nap in the evenings.

Another trip to the Philippines. The very regular section was probably when I didn't have a reliable way of updating my time tracker. (Yearly review split between life as a 33-year-old and a 34-year-old)

2018

2018

Sample weekday: 2018-05-08

23:26 - 00:35: A+ - Childcare22:35 - 23:26: A+ - Childcare22:31 - 22:35: Personal - Routines22:02 - 22:31: Unpaid work - Clean the kitchen18:25 - 22:02: A+ - Childcare18:10 - 18:25: A+ - Childcare17:39 - 18:10: A+ - Childcare17:31 - 17:39: Personal - Routines17:23 - 17:31: A+ - Childcare17:12 - 17:23: A+ - Childcare17:04 - 17:12: A+ - Childcare16:31 - 17:04: Unpaid work - Tidy up15:10 - 16:31: Business - Earn - Consulting - E1 - General14:36 - 15:10: A+ - Childcare13:19 - 14:36: Business - Earn - Consulting - E1 - General09:03 - 13:19: A+ - Childcare00:37 - 09:03: Sleep00:19 - 00:37: A+ - Childcare21:24 - 00:19: A+ - Childcare

We went on two trips to the Philippines. My dad died during the first one, and the second one was to keep my mom company. (Yearly review split between life as a 34-year-old and a 35-year-old)

2019

2019

Sample weekday: 2019-04-25

23:53 - 08:34: Sleep23:43 - 23:53: Sleep21:54 - 23:43: Discretionary - Family21:45 - 21:54: Personal - Routines20:40 - 21:45: A+ - Childcare20:22 - 20:40: Personal - Routines08:45 - 20:22: A+ - Childcare08:13 - 08:45: Personal - Routines23:19 - 08:13: Sleep

Sometimes I paid a babysitter so I could do some consulting, but A+ usually didn't like being away from me, so I just didn't do that much. This year was also our last trip to the Philippines before COVID changed the world. (Yearly review split between life as a 35-year-old and a 36-year-old)

2020

2020

Sample weekday: 2020-04-28

23:31 - 00:15: Sleep23:30 - 23:31: Personal - Routines23:03 - 23:30: Discretionary - Play - Read - Fiction22:56 - 23:03: Discretionary - Productive - Writing21:52 - 22:56: Discretionary - Play - Read - Fiction20:45 - 21:52: A+ - Childcare20:25 - 20:45: Discretionary - Productive - Coding20:17 - 20:25: Discretionary - Family19:47 - 20:17: Personal - Routines17:56 - 19:47: A+ - Childcare16:26 - 17:56: Unpaid work - Cook09:01 - 16:26: A+ - Childcare07:02 - 09:01: A+ - Childcare07:01 - 07:02: Sleep01:24 - 07:01: Sleep00:20 - 01:24: Discretionary - Social23:50 - 00:20: Discretionary - Productive - Coding

I started staying up to try to get stuff done. This was sometimes tricky to get right. If I stayed up too late and then A+ woke up early, I got cranky. I did much less consulting. The two dark blue lines towards the later part of the year represent EmacsConf. (Yearly review split between life as a 36-year-old and a 37-year-old)

2021

2021

Sample weekday: 2021-04-29

23:37 - 00:01: Discretionary - Productive - Gardening23:23 - 23:37: Discretionary - Productive - Coding23:11 - 23:23: Personal - Routines21:30 - 23:11: A+ - Childcare20:30 - 21:30: Personal - Routines19:44 - 20:30: Discretionary - Productive - Emacs18:33 - 19:44: A+ - Childcare18:25 - 18:33: Personal - Routines18:23 - 18:25: A+ - Childcare17:23 - 18:23: Personal - Routines16:52 - 17:23: Unpaid work - Clean the kitchen16:32 - 16:52: Unpaid work - Cook09:51 - 16:32: A+ - Childcare08:47 - 09:51: Personal - Routines01:31 - 08:47: Sleep01:11 - 01:31: Personal - Routines23:42 - 01:11: Discretionary - Productive - Emacs

Still staying up to try to have some me-time. The dark blue boxes in the second half of the year show that I started taking a more active role in organizing EmacsConf, mostly by coding stuff late at night. (Yearly review split between life as a 37-year-old and a 38-year-old)

2022

2022

Sample weekday: 2022-04-25

23:21 - 00:15: Discretionary - Productive - Writing22:50 - 23:21: Discretionary - Productive - Emacs20:36 - 22:50: A+ - Childcare20:09 - 20:36: Personal - Routines10:20 - 20:09: A+ - Childcare00:26 - 10:20: Sleep00:24 - 00:26: Personal - Routines21:24 - 00:24: A+ - Childcare

A+ shifted to staying up late too, so I adapted by doing less. Trying to get her to go to bed earlier just resulted in grumpiness and crying. (Sometimes I was the one crying.)

I did a lot more automation for EmacsConf. Sometimes it was because she was attending virtual grade 1 during the daytime, and sometimes it was because she was just chilling out watching videos in the evening. (Yearly review split between life as a 38-year-old and a 39-year-old)

2023

2023

Sample weekday: 2023-04-25

23:23 - 08:05: Sleep21:41 - 23:23: A+ - Childcare21:11 - 21:41: Personal - Routines13:44 - 21:11: A+ - Childcare13:29 - 13:44: Discretionary - Productive - Emacs13:16 - 13:29: Personal - Plan13:02 - 13:16: A+ - Childcare12:47 - 13:02: Business - Earn - Consulting - E1 - General12:45 - 12:47: A+ - Childcare12:34 - 12:45: Business - Earn - Consulting - E1 - General08:34 - 12:34: A+ - Childcare07:28 - 08:34: Personal - Routines23:22 - 07:28: Sleep

A+ started grade 2. We had to wait a little while to get our exemption from synchronous learning approved, so we made an effort to attend school in the beginning. We eventually got the exemption, though. (Yearly review split between life as a 39-year-old and a 40-year-old)

2024

2024

Sample weekday: 2024-04-25

23:06 - 00:36: Sleep20:38 - 23:06: A+ - Childcare20:08 - 20:38: Personal - Routines19:38 - 20:08: Unpaid work - Clean the kitchen08:40 - 19:38: A+ - Childcare08:00 - 08:40: Personal - Routines00:54 - 08:00: Sleep23:15 - 00:54: Discretionary - Play - Read - Fiction

A+ started grade 3. Our application for an exemption from synchronous learning wasn't approved, so A+'s schedule (and mine) tended to follow the school schedule except for the days when I say, hey, let's just go on an informal field trip. I'm glad A+ decided to get on board with waking up at around 7 AM fairly consistently instead of sleeping in. The graph also shows the steadiness of the pink Childcare segments during the 11AM-12PM lunch breaks. Knowing when I'm likely to be interrupted by an armful of kiddo does help me use the morning and afternoon breaks a little more efficiently, although having 1-1.5 hours to think can still feel a little short if I'm trying to do some programming.

Part of this year was covered by my life as a 40-year-old yearly review. I'll write my "life as a 41-year-old" post in August this year.

2025

2025

Sample weekday: 2025-04-10

23:17 - 06:55: Sleep22:19 - 23:17: Personal - Routines18:22 - 22:19: A+ - Childcare17:52 - 18:22: Personal - Routines17:30 - 17:52: Unpaid work - Clean the kitchen14:44 - 17:30: A+ - Childcare14:37 - 14:44: Personal - Routines13:54 - 14:37: Discretionary - Productive - Coding12:42 - 13:54: Discretionary - Productive - Emacs12:10 - 12:42: Discretionary - Productive - Writing12:04 - 12:10: Discretionary - Productive - Emacs11:01 - 12:04: A+ - Childcare10:58 - 11:01: Discretionary - Productive - Emacs10:48 - 10:58: Personal - Routines09:54 - 10:48: Personal - Walk - Other09:37 - 09:54: A+ - Childcare08:27 - 09:37: Discretionary - Productive - Music06:57 - 08:27: A+ - Childcare23:32 - 06:57: Sleep

I started prioritizing practising piano and going for a good long walk at some point in the day, both of which feel very nice. I still usually handle A+'s recess and lunch breaks, but W-'s retired now, so sometimes he handles A+'s lunch while I do things.

How has my time changed over the years?

I usually do a quick check of my time by looking at the category totals and percentages during my monthly and yearly reviews, but seeing it as a day-by-day view like this makes it easier to feel the flow of things, including when I tend to stay up late. (Revenge bedtime procrastination strikes again.)

Still, category totals make it easier to see high-level changes over time. Here's a graph of average hours per day per high-level category per year.

I can see that:

  • childcare mostly came out of my consulting, personal, and play time
  • I've managed to get back to doing more productive stuff and Emacs stuff

Here's the hours-per-day.py script I used to analyze it, using Pandas to sum it up, Matplot to graph it, and mpld3 to add some Javascript interaction so we can hover over points to get the label and value. I wrote a little SetViewbox plugin so that the graph could be more responsive.

Fragmentation

My life is still fragmented, but I'm slowly becoming more okay with this. The general advice is, of course, to try to consolidate some focus time, but my life doesn't work that way. Besides, it's fragmented because the kiddo likes to spend time with me, which is wonderful.

I liked this quote from Eleanor Coppola from this Living with Literature interview:1

The men artists I knew had a studio, and they went out to their studio, and they spent the day, and worked, and then they came back. I once read a book by Judy Chicago, who interviewed all these women artists, and they made their art on the back porch, they made it on top of the washing machine, they made it next to the kitchen sink, and they made it anywhere they could, for the hour and a half while their kid was taking a nap, and for the two hours while they were at the play group. They made it in between. It wasn’t, like, you get to make art for eight hours. You make art in 20-minute snatches, and you don’t, like, fiddle around. I know one time I went to see Francis in his working room, and he had his pencils all laid out, and his espresso there, and there was this whole little ritual of getting into yourself and into your work. There was no time [for women] for the ritual of getting into your work! You just snapped into that taking 10 minutes and making 3 lines on your drawing or whatever was possible. It wasn’t the same as the way men worked. And that’s how women got their work done.

This reminds me of the reflections on interruptibility in Meditations for Mortals (Oliver Burkeman, 2024): yes, try to ringfence three to four hours of your day for focused time, but don't try to control too much of your life; stay distractible, don't fight life, give your full attention once your focus has already been diverted. It also reminds me of Good Mom on Paper (edited by Stacey May Fowles and Jen Sookfong Lee, 2022); there are lots of other people who are finding their way through the "Mom! Mom! Mom!" phase. (A+ still has a finely-tuned attention detector. She can sense the moment I begin to think about something and interrupt it with "Mom, look at this!" even when W- is right there beside her.)

A+ grows more independent every year. It's like life is slowly easing me into this independence too. 2022 looked different from 2025, and 2028 will be different too. I used to have 5-10 minute snippets of time (still do). Now I occasionally get 1-hour chunks. Eventually I'll have 3-hour chunks again. I know from my experiment with semi-retirement that time isn't the thing holding me back from making a useful website or writing a book or saving the world, so that's actually kind of liberating. It can just be about trying things out and seeing where I want to go with that.

Sleep

One of the things I've learned is how much of my day depends on feeling well-rested. When I've slept well, I can parent better and I can take advantage of little pockets of me-time better.

It's surprisingly tricky to get my sleep sorted out. My sleep isn't as fragmented as it used to be in the early days of parenting A+, but it's still a little challenging. These days, I usually start nudging A+ towards bed at 9 PM. I'm still an integral part of her bedtime routine. Sometimes she stays up because she wants to chat or improvise stories, and unless I'm super tired, I like to spend that cozy time with her. I snuggle her until I think she's fallen asleep. Sometimes I try to slip away too early and she sleepily asks for more hugs, so then I snuggle her for another ten or fifteen minutes. I try to stay awake because whenever I fall asleep in her twin bed, we're both a bit tired and cranky in the morning. After A+'s finally asleep, I call my mom to check on her. Sometimes I do a bit of reading or drawing as my personal time.

I can remind myself not to stay up late reading because then I'll get too little sleep and then I'll feel tired. I can find time to read the next day. Come to think of it, this is what I tell A+ too, and just like me, she also finds it hard to put books down.

I could also get a bit more sleep by accepting that A+ will probably wake up at 7:30 or so, and set my alarm for 7:25 instead of 6:55. She usually likes a lot of snuggles before finally waking up, though, so starting the snuggles early in the morning gives us more of a leisurely start to the day.

If I go to bed at about 10 or 10:30 PM, I usually wake up before my alarm goes off. If I move some of my personal reading and writing to that time (RSS, books, etc.), then I can swap out some of the less-useful scrolling through Reddit and start the day better.

Other thoughts

Text from sketch

Time over the years

  • Minutes are not all the same
    • 8.4 hours of sleep, 2 hours of me-time:
      • fragmented < all together
    • family time: 0-18 > 18→
  • How much time I have & how much time I feel I have are two different things.
  • It's okay to have downtime. No sense in grumping at myself about it.
  • Energy matters. Sleep is my foundation for everything else
  • Time comes from somewhere. There's time for everything I really want, just not all at once. Constraints clarify choices. If I want to do more of something, I need to change something else.
  • I like a small, leisurely life.

sachachua.com/2025-04-29-02

Tracking my time is surprisingly reassuring. I can see that I have time for a few discretionary things, and I can see the trade-offs. More time spent doing one thing means less time spent on another, so it makes my actual priorities clear. In the beginning, I tended to fall back to consulting a lot because it came with clear tasks and the satisfaction of helping other people. I'm happy to see that I'm becoming more comfortable with choosing things like playing piano, going for walks, writing, or working on personal projects, or playing Minecraft with W- and A+.

W- does so much around the house, and we really enjoy the benefits. (Mmm, fresh-baked bagels.) It makes me want to increase my "Unpaid work" time so that I can increase the satisfaction I feel from helping improve the household. If I can tempt A+ along (say, cooking or gardening), then that would be an effective way to shift that time around. When I switch from "Personal - Routines" to "Unpaid work - Clean the kitchen," it feels nice. I know it'll add up.

When I don't feel particularly energetic or focused, I've learned to be kind to myself and just chill out with a book or my iPad, or do some tidying around the house. Sometimes I have a nap. No point in grumping at myself about it. I'm learning that I enjoy having a simple, leisurely sort of life, without feeling like I need an internal taskmaster. When I do have an idea, I'm fine with going with it even if there are lots of other things on my to-do list from before. As long as nothing urgently needs to be done, there's room to play, and it's easier to work on stuff I'm curious about or care about, even if it might not be the theoretically optimal way to use that bit of time.

Do I want to find time for the activities I used to spend time on before?

I don't think I'll go back to my pre-parenting socializing any time soon. I miss bumping into interesting ideas and people at tech meetups and Hacklab, and hosting people for tea, but it's okay. We're still taking COVID precautions, so we don't hang out indoors. The weather's warming up so maybe people will be outside more. I bumped into Andrew Louis at a park the other day. That conversation reminded me that there are lots of wonderful people who don't blog nearly as often as I do (and even I don't write as often as I'd like), so spending time with them (either one-or-one or as part of larger conversations) is the main way to find out about the cool things they've been up to, enjoy that feeling of "I'm glad you exist," and perhaps develop friendships further. Someday, maybe. In the meantime, I like EmacsConf, I occasionally join online meetups, and I've dusted off my feed reader and filled it with people whom I also appreciate.

All my gaming time has shifted over to Minecraft because that's what A+ and W- play. I like playing with them. It's a fun way to spend time together and explore different situations.

I probably won't take up Latin or Japanese again for now. I enjoyed feeling my brain get the hang of something new. At the moment, my brain seems to want to get that from piano practice, so that's fine.

I'd like to sew more. A+ wants more skirts, skorts, and dresses, and she doesn't often find clothes to her liking in the stores. She likes it when I wear a matching skirt, too. If I'm working with stretchy fabric, that means using the serger at home. If I'm working with wovens, I can bring the project to the playground for something tangible to work on while the kids play. At home, it tends to feel like a choice between coding, writing, cooking, tidying, or sewing, and I don't pick sewing very often. At the park, sewing gives me something to do while I listen to other grown-ups chat.

I like what I've shifted my time towards: more time outside, time with family, biking and walking (especially awesome when we're out biking as a family!), more gardening, more writing, more drawing. It's okay that other things moved lower on my list.

How much time does it take to track and analyze time?

It doesn't take a lot of time to capture the data: just a few seconds to tap into my most common categories using my phone. I recently added some Tasker tasks and Google Assistant routines so that I can track common categories by voice ("Hey Google, kitchen"), using face unlock to authorize it in case my hands are full. I've written code to automatically add time use tables to my weekly, monthly, and annual reviews, so that's also straightforward.

This particular analysis took me a couple of extra hours spread over several days.

  • I noticed some entries I wanted to clean up (mostly when I didn't track when I slept), so that took a little time.
  • I wanted to tweak my graph visualization to make it easier to visualize a whole year of data, so I modified it to take up the full width instead of a fixed width, changed the outline to a slightly-transparent version of the category colour, and recoloured the categories based on a palette I picked up from somewhere. This meant I needed to re-figure-out how to modify my web-based tracker, as there were some gaps in my notes.
  • I wanted an Emacs Lisp way to visualize a single day, which meant adding quantified-svg-day and other functions to .

    Then I could define a named Org Babel block like this:

      #+NAME: day-graph
      #+begin_src emacs-lisp  :exports results :var day="2012-04-25"
            (with-temp-file (format "weekday-%s.svg" (substring day 0 4))
                    (svg-print (quantified-svg-day day 'horizontal))
                    (buffer-string))
            (format "#+ATTR_HTML: :style margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0\nSample weekday: %s\n#+ATTR_HTML: :style width:100%%; height: 20px\nfile:weekday-%s.svg" day (substring day 0 4))
      #+end_src
    

    To call it, I can use:

      #+CALL: day-graph(day="2013-04-26")
    

    Next step would be to visualize the data from a start day to and end day, which could be useful for weekly and monthly reviews.

  • I kept wanting to add more thoughts.

I liked reviewing my data, though. Even with just the numbers and graphs, it was a way to revisit those quite different past selves.

This time data works together with other things. I built myself a web-based journal as well–just quick sentences to capture what happened, roughly grouped into categories. That provides a more qualitative view of my day and helps me flesh out the memories.

Can I share my data?

I used to leave quantifiedawesome.com more open to the web. To my amusement, it's even been used in a machine learning research paper, which, after much crunching of data, concluded that I tend to take the subway to things and then come back.2 Anyway, I noticed my time tracker got a bit slower as bots started trying to crawl through the reports, and it occasionally crashed and needed restarting, so I tucked it behind an IP address range restriction. Not really sure what other people would find interesting in my data, anyhow. =)

Other resources

If you like this sort of stuff, you might also want to check out my other posts about time or Quantified Self, or these other people's time analyses:

If you want to start tracking your time, it might be helpful to try it for a short period (a week, a month, whatever) and then see what surprises you. People can track time using all sorts of things: pen and paper, a spreadsheet, a digital calendar, a time-tracking app… It might take a few tries to find something that fits the way you work, and that's okay.

Interactive figures in blog posts with mpld3 was also helpful for figuring out Javascript-enabled charts from Python, for which of course I totally want a smooth Org Mode workflow.

Looking forward to the next few years

Looking forward, I expect childcare to still be a significant portion of my day, but that's all right. It'll wind down all too quickly, so I might as well enjoy it while I'm here. I think I'd like to do maybe 5-15 hours of consulting a month, which is a few hours each week. I enjoy helping my clients explore crazy ideas. Aside from that, there are lots of other things I want to do with my time, and each day feels nicely full. Now that the weather's warming up, I'd like to become even more comfortable with sitting on the porch with a book or a sketch, or going for a walk with A+ to the ice cream store, or wandering around the city checking out playgrounds.

A+ is 9. I am more than halfway to the end of A+'s childhood, and adolescence is around the corner. I have only so many years in this easy stage with W-. My paternal grandmother had dementia towards the end of her life and my mom is dealing with both physical and cognitive decline due to Parkinson's. Tick tock, memento mori, four thousand weeks go by quickly. I'm half-past that mark, too. But it's not a matter to feel despair about or something that should make me try to hang on to this moment too tightly. Keeping track of my time doesn't mean subjecting myself to some kind of Tayloristic time-and-motion study of the sort that dictates how many packages an Amazon warehouse worker must process each hour, out of the urge to wring out every last bit of productivity possible. It's enough, I think, to savour here and now, to laugh at the things I worried about in the past and to accept that future me will also look back and smile.

I wonder what the next few years could look like. I'd like to keep tracking time as a low-effort way to sketch out the shape of my day, to see my revealed preferences and see if they match up with what I value, and to appreciate how little things add up.

Footnotes

2

J. Cüppers and J. Vreeken, "Just Wait for it… Mining Sequential Patterns with Reliable Prediction Delays," 2020 IEEE International Conference on Data Mining (ICDM), Sorrento, Italy, 2020, pp. 82-91, doi: 10.1109/ICDM50108.2020.00017.

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A typical weekday

| life, parenting, time

Text and links from sketch

A typical weekday

family time: 11/16 hours, me time: 5/16 hours

  • 7 AM: Morning routines
  • 8 AM: piano practice
  • 9 AM: gardening, recess
  • 10 AM: Walk, braindump
  • 11 AM: Lunch
  • 12 PM: focus time: code, write, draw, read, do stuff
  • 1 PM: tidying, recess
  • 2 PM: writing, hanging out with A+
  • 3 PM: hang out with A+
  • 4 PM: sometimes a play date
  • 5 PM: dinner with W- & A+
  • 6 PM: chores, evening routine
  • 7 PM: hang out with W- and A+: Minecraft; watching; Pictionary, other games
  • 8 PM: hang out with W- and A+
  • 9 PM: A+'s bedtime routine
  • 10 PM: call my mom, read

Context: A+ is 9 and in virtual grade 3. W- is retired.

https://sachachua.com/2025-04-10-01

Feel free to use this under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

I came across Hourly Comic Day1 in anhvn's weeknotes. I've been meaning to make some kind of timeline, even if it doesn't feel as insightful or humorous as other people's comics. That's a skill, I can develop it. Besides, capturing bits and pieces of my life now is likely to be something I'm glad for later on.

Some things I notice:

I'm A+'s default parent, so she comes to me for snuggles during recess and lunch, and she wants to spend time with me when she's bored. She's 9, as I keep reminding myself, so this is a time-limited offer. It's amazing. At the moment, she often chooses to hug me instead of read books or play Minecraft, or chooses to play Minecraft with me instead of by herself. Inevitably, the day will come when she'll switch to just grunting at me from time to time and then disappear into her room for hours on end. This is the time to snuggle and hang out.

I have maybe an hour of reliable focus time right after lunch. I could have more, but I like setting aside some time for playing the piano and for walking.

conscientiousness-piano.jpg

Playing the piano is an exercise in humility. I can't quite get my fingers to do what I want them to do, and my brain picks up phrases more slowly than I'd like.2 But it's also enjoyable to hear myself learn, so I continue.

Walking is good for me. It's important to keep moving. Biking gets me farther, but I have to pay more attention. Walking helps me have extra thinking time. I take a lapel mic along so that I can use the time to talk to myself. I notice I'm not the only one talking to myself in the park. I also like how I see other people out there with books, or with cameras, or with their lunches, or simply sitting on a bench and enjoying the sun. It's reassuring to see other people enjoying a slower pace.

I usually run out of thoughts to think before I run out of trails to walk. It's interesting. Sometimes I wonder how I might tinker with that. I have plenty of source material to think about from books and life experiences, but maybe I can dig into things further. Or maybe lowering the threshold with stream-of-consciousness dictation will help me bring more of my monkey mind out into the light. It's also okay to enjoy the quiet. Running into the limits of my thoughts makes it easier to use my computer time for tasks or coding instead of staring at a blank text file. When I do find myself drawn to a topic, then the braindumping gives me a head start on figuring out the parts of it that I care about.

I'm here because I choose to be. I could theoretically have a two-hour chunk in the evenings if I really wanted to, but then A+ tends to just watch videos. Sometimes if she's in a video-watching mood, I'll squeeze in some writing or some code, but it's not reliable and she might stop at any time, so I don't like to get into anything too deep.

I haven't been doing much consulting lately, since that's hard to do in small bursts. There are a couple of front-end Javascript requests on my list, but it's a little challenging for me to get into front-end tinkering because I have to load a fair bit of context into my brain when I'm trying to work around the vendor's way of doing things. I'll probably let them know I can't get around to those requests for now. Maybe someday.

I miss being in flow,3 but since that can often result in my experience A+'s desires for connection as an interruption (the Ovsiankina effect4 doesn't help), that's not a good fit for right now. Instead, I'll accept that this is the time for (mostly) fragmentary chaos, but I can still occasionally squeeze in 15 minutes here and there.5 The lack of focused time used to make me a little frustrated and antsy, but I think it's becoming a little easier as A+ becomes more independent. I can both see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that our paths will diverge.

I could have oodles of focused time during the day if A+ were to go to in-person school, but fortunately, I know from my experiment with semi-retirement that I probably won't actually end up writing a book or changing the world even if I have more focused time. Virtual school continues to be a reasonable fit for us.

Since I know I've only got about an hour of focused time a day, I can try to choose things carefully. It's surprisingly freeing, knowing that I'm not going to get to everything.6 I tend to:

  • Code little things for myself, because it's fun and it can make things marginally easier. I like tinkering with Emacs, although sometimes I also write Javascript or Python to automate things.
  • Writing and drawing, because then I can understand and remember things a little better
  • Working on important tasks, like doing our taxes

And then the odds and ends of time can be used for:

  • More writing: usually on my laptop, but sometimes on my phone too. It helps to keep my laptop on the main floor instead of leaving it upstairs.
  • Reading books and blog posts, especially when I can highlight and capture snippets. The iPad has come in handy for this.
  • Coding, but only things that I can put down easily
  • Tidying: always good to stay on top of things

E-mail tends to fall to the bottom of my list, especially e-mails that require thought and consideration. Even reviewing my inbox tends to be lower-priority, unless there's something I remember and want to work on.

April 2025_16.jpeg

So this is my life at the moment. This is already a big step up from before. Since A+ handles virtual school a little more independently now, I can mostly count on a bit of focused time, instead of living my days in interruption limbo.

It's pretty easy-going. It feels a little like we're making this breakwater around a bay, so that A+ can learn the ropes in a reasonably calm environment instead of being buffeted around by the stormy waves outside, and then she can sail out when she's ready. As lives go, this is all right.

Seasons come and seasons go. I'm glad my day gets to look like this. Even if it might seem pretty humdrum, I want to remember it, because there'll be a time when I'll miss us.

Footnotes

1

Hourly comics:

2

Brain speed: I vaguely remember being praised for being able to think quickly when I was younger. I think age, parental rewiring, and periods of sleep deprivation (also due to parenting) have thoroughly scrambled that part of my brain. That's okay. This is life. Gotta work with what I've got.

3

Missing being in flow: gosh, there used to be a time when I felt like I needed to rein in long programming sessions

5

Related: Meditations for Mortals (Oliver Burkeman, 2024):

  • Day Thirteen: Three hours: On finding focus in the chaos
    • Yup, definitely can't find three hours.
  • Day Twenty-one: What’s an interruption, anyway?: On the importance of staying distractible
    • My natural state isn't that of focused attention anyhow.
  • Day Twenty-eight: What matters: On finding your way

    Instead, you get to pour yourself into tasks that matter for no other reason than that nothing could be more enlivening, or more true to the situation in which you find yourself.

    I don't have to do anything that makes a big difference for humankind. I can just do the next little thing.

  • Day Two: Kayaks and superyachts: On actually doing things
    • Perhaps I can do one thing today, and that's okay.
6

Also from Meditations for Mortals (Oliver Burkeman, 2024): "Day One: It’s worse than you think: On the liberation of defeat"

But this is where things get interesting, because an important psychological shift occurs whenever you realise that a struggle you’d been approaching as if it were very difficult is actually completely impossible.

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Analyzing my Emacs time over the last 11 years or so

Posted: - Modified: | emacs, quantified, time

[2024-12-27 Fri]: Added 2024 numbers, so that's now 12 years of data

My EmacsConf presentation will stream in a few hours, and someone's probably going to ask where I find the time for all of this. =) So I dug through my time logs (a custom system I wrote in 2012 with Ruby on Rails; has an Emacs interface, of course) and came up with this table of hours I logged in my Discretionary - Productive - Emacs category over the past 11 years.

Data for Emacs hours by month by year
Year Jan Feb March April May June July Aug Sept Oct Nov Dec Total
2012         0.7 19.4 2.7 1.9 1.2 0 0 8.6 34
2013 0.7 12.5 38.5 18.5 10.0 6.0 1.2 5.2 0 0.1 3.2 0.4 96
2014 2.0 3.4 18.8 39.7 45.4 15.3 2.6 0.6 2.0 7.4 5.9 15.4 158
2015 16.6 37.4 7.4 9.0 2.3 3.3 3.2 20.0 9.6 6.3 26.5 18.2 160
2016 8.6 4.6 3.7 3.7 4.2 2.9 1.4 2.9 2.7 2.2 4.3 2.4 44
2017 3.7 2.7 3.2 3.2 3.0 2.0 5.2 2.8 0 0.9 3.4 3.8 34
2018 2.9 3.3 1.9 2.2 3.9 3.3 0.9 1.4 1.5 1.8 2.3 3.0 28
2019 2.2 10.7 2.6 2.3 13.7 6.8 7.1 3.6 13.3 16.1 16.7 2.0 97
2020 3.3 0.5 3.0 .2 10.0 6.3 5.2 5.0 5.0 32.9 61.7 49.0 182
2021 53.7 47.1 44.7 25.5 18.1 11.5 8.3 11.9 9.5 66.0 138.1 66.6 501
2022 13.5 13.4 3.1 3.9 7.0 4.5 4.2 5.1 45.4 157.5 146.6 95.3 500
2023 23.4 15.9 16.2 11.2 4.4 11.5 6.5 13.3 36.6 86.6 93.2 113.0 432
2024 71.2 12.0 5.6 6.6 3.3 9.6 11.0 4.7 36.0 40.3 52.3 67.7 320

Notes:

  • Data collection in this system started in 2012.
  • Some months look like they have under-collected data, that's fine.
  • Big spike in 2022 was when we decided to go with two tracks for EmacsConf, so I needed to figure out all the infrastructure.
  • I started doing Emacs News in 2016, which is maybe 0.5 - 1.5 hours a week.
  • EmacsConf restarted in 2019 with an online conference. I've been handling speaker/volunteer coordination, captioning, publishing, and automation/infrastructure.

I can visualize this as a heatmap with:

import numpy as np
import pandas as pd
import matplotlib.pyplot as plt
import seaborn as sns
df = pd.DataFrame(time_data[1:], columns=time_data[0]).drop('Total', axis=1).set_index('Year')
df = df.apply(pd.to_numeric)
plt.title("sachac's Emacs hours by month and year")
plot = sns.heatmap(df, annot=True, cmap='crest', fmt='.0f')
fig = plot.get_figure()
fig.savefig('emacs-time.png')
emacs-time.png

Yes, I do actually sleep

Overall balance of activities
Activity Jan 2023 Feb 2023 Mar 2023 Apr 2023 May 2023 Jun 2023 Jul 2023 Aug 2023 Sep 2023 Oct 2023 Nov 2023 Total
A- 39.0% 47.5% 44.4% 44.2% 44.1% 44.4% 41.8% 40.5% 33.2% 33.3% 34.3% 40.6%
Business 1.3% 0.5% 3.5% 1.9% 3.8% 2.8% 3.5% 7.0% 8.8% 1.9% 1.7% 3.3%
Discretionary > 10.8% 3.9% 4.5% 6.0% 6.6% 8.3% 6.9% 6.2% 8.8% 14.5% 16.1% 8.4%
Personal > 10.1% 10.2% 11.7% 10.4% 9.3% 8.8% 9.9% 8.4% 9.4% 10.6% 11.9% 10.0%
Sleep 34.6% 35.4% 32.9% 34.9% 33.4% 32.1% 34.1% 34.7% 33.9% 35.7% 33.4% 34.1%
Unpaid work > 4.3% 2.5% 3.0% 2.8% 2.9% 3.6% 3.9% 3.3% 5.9% 4.0% 2.6% 3.5%

Notes:

  • `A-` is my top-level category for child-care

Sleep over the years:

Sleep percentage
Year Jan Feb March April May June July Aug Sept Oct Nov Dec
2013 36.0% 34.9% 37.0% 36.5% 32.5% 35.8% 37.4% 43.1% 37.9% 36.9% 37.8% 34.5%
2014 36.4% 38.2% 37.0% 36.7% 35.0% 37.6% 37.8% 34.7% 36.1% 34.3% 41.3% 37.4%
2015 35.5% 35.3% 38.5% 35.0% 35.1% 39.7% 36.9% 40.1% 40.3% 37.4% 37.8% 41.4%
2016 35.5% 35.3% 38.5% 35.0% 35.1% 39.7% 36.9% 40.1% 40.3% 37.4% 37.8% 41.4%
2017 38.2% 35.9% 34.3% 35.1% 33.0% 30.8% 32.6% 27.2% 26.5% 32.8% 34.0% 29.6%
2018 29.7% 33.4% 32.8% 32.5% 31.0% 29.3% 35.1% 33.0% 37.7% 36.9% 29.3% 34.0%
2019 33.2% 34.7% 35.3% 35.6% 33.9% 30.4% 32.0% 32.9% 35.7% 34.6% 33.1% 34.4%
2020 32.8% 34.7% 37.9% 32.2% 32.8% 30.3% 31.5% 30.1% 32.4% 31.8% 28.9% 33.1%
2021 28.6% 30.1% 34.6% 33.3% 31.6% 31.8% 36.1% 33.6% 35.1% 34.7% 32.5% 32.4%
2022 35.5% 35.6% 38.5% 37.2% 38.1% 38.4% 36.5% 38.1% 35.3% 32.0% 30.1% 27.8%
2023 34.6% 35.4% 32.9% 34.9% 33.4% 32.1% 34.1% 34.7% 33.9% 35.7% 33.4% 30.9%
2024 29.4% 37.2% 36.1% 34.2% 34.3% 35.5% 35.9% 37.4% 34.5% 35.8% 33.5% 36.1%
import numpy as np
import pandas as pd
import matplotlib.pyplot as plt
import seaborn as sns
df = pd.DataFrame(data[1:], columns=data[0]).set_index('Year')
df = df.applymap(lambda x: float(x.strip('%'))*24/100.0)
plt.title("sachac's sleep hours per day by month and year")
plot = sns.heatmap(df, annot=True, cmap='crest', fmt='.1f')
fig = plot.get_figure()
fig.savefig('sleep-time.png')
sleep-time.png

The kiddo was born in 2016. You can see how much less sleep I've been getting since then. =)

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Making better use of time as we grow more independent together

| parenting, time

I've been coming to terms with the idea that I might not get appreciably more focus time over the next few years, if we decide to either continue with virtual school or switch to homeschooling. It's okay. A-'s going to grow more independent and disappear for long stretches of time, so there's no need to rush or push her away just so that I can do stuff on my computer. I'll miss these days soon enough.

So I just need enough me time to keep myself sane and to make better use of interstitial time as the opportunities arise: waiting for her to wake up, waiting for her to finish reading or playing, waiting for her to go to sleep… I'm starting to be able to find 5 minutes here, 20 minutes there. Most of the time, I can't jump on my laptop. If I'm on a screen, she'll want to be on a screen. Fortunately, my SuperNote doesn't trigger that sense of unfairness, so I can draw or write as long as I'm willing to let her use it if she wants to draw too.

I get some coding time here and there, too. I've shifted to more of an advisory role for my consulting, helping a couple of other developers via text chat on my phone throughout the day and sitting down to code when A-'s watching a movie. Sometimes I work on personal projects while A- watches a movie. She's very good at insisting we both take eye breaks, and from all her questions, I get the feeling that her brain is still very busy processing the Nth time through Frozen or the LEGO Movie. Cool, cool. Might as well use that time to work on continuous improvement. There's always more tidying to do, but it's also good to play around with ideas and try to make things better.

So, what do I want to think about and work on when these opportunities come up? How can I accelerate during those little sprints of thinking time?

  • Drawing and writing: I can collect questions to reflect on or thoughts to untangle, so I can quickly pick one and add to a sketch or a handwritten draft of a blog post.
  • Book notes: I can keep a bookmark in a book and sketchnote a few more pages when I have the chance. Bonus: she sees me reading. Good time to learn more about parenting, education, psychology, and other topics that might be useful.
  • Coding: I can work on setting up my server so that I can write and publish blog posts from my phone, including referring to sketches and converting hand-written drafts.
  • House: I can get rid of more clutter so that I can find things more easily.
  • Tech: I can prepare ePubs and PDFs to read on my SuperNote so that I can learn more about things that will make coding easier or more fun.

What if I want to create more time? How can I get more focused time?

  • E-book reading time: A- quickly finishes books from the library, but the tablet can be a portal to thousands more books. Besides, sometimes she just wants to read, and that's okay.
  • More consistent bedtime: if I go to sleep at a reasonable time, I can use some time in there morning to do stuff. I just have to be ready to set it aside when she wakes up.
  • At the playground: if we're at a playdate, I like to still pay attention to the kids and the other parents. I can bring a 3x3 cube and my SuperNote to take advantage of spare time, though.
  • More books to lose herself in: I pick up lots of book recommendations from Facebook, and the library's a great source. It's a win all around: we get extra exercise walking to the library, she learns about more things and more words, and I get time to focus on something.
  • Take-out/convenience foods, preparing ahead: it takes me around an hour to make dinner. I can occasionally swap some of that time for thinking or coding time by using money. Hmm…

It'll be great. Sure, it's not the sudden jump in discretionary time that I might have had if A- was going to go to in-person school, but this way could be good too. I can grow into it just like A- will grow into her own independence. It reminds me of the way my 5-year experiment with semi-retirement started off with lots of consulting and slowly ratcheted down until I felt comfortable using most of my time for my own stuff. We can learn about time apart together.

Dealing with preoccupation and a slow tempo

Posted: - Modified: | kaizen, time

I occasionally feel like less of a grown-up than I should be at 34 years old. We need to redo some of the insurance paperwork because I missed a few things in January. My sister will probably need to take care of that paperwork when she comes next week. I wasn't forceful or proactive enough when it comes to dealing with fleas, so A- and I are covered in bites. I sometimes don't see things even when they're right in front of me.

A general approach that could work for me is:

  • Be kind to myself and others. Self-recrimination wastes energy and doesn't accomplish anything. It's okay to feel embarrassed if I use that feeling to move forward. It's good to think of lapses as temporary than as indicative of character traits: something I did, not something I was. If I look for ways to improve, I can test if those ways will be sufficient.
  • Keep an oops fund. Most mistakes can be easily recovered from, and sometimes for not much money.
  • Work around my weaknesses. Delegate. Keep notes. Use checklists. Simplify. Manage expectations. Even if I think this extra fuzziness is temporary, it's useful to plan workarounds as if it's long-term, since I'll probably run into similar problems when I'm older.

I feel scatter-brained. I find it hard to concentrate and remember, and I waste time getting back on track after interruptions. Mostly this is because I like being so available for A-, which is a decision I'm okay with, so I should just figure out how to compensate for that until things get back to normal-ish. Paperwork is low priority for me, so I should make sure it's taken care of by someone who can prioritize and review it properly, and I shouldn't overcommit.

We can get through this step by step. I can't talk myself into being more focused and more observant, but I can gradually build safety nets, and then I can practise slowing down and paying attention.

A slow tempo often frustrates other people. I know my dad and Kathy often got impatient, and W- sometimes does too. Still, I think I can manage starting slow and working on becoming more solid. I trust that I'll speed up with experience and with the compound growth of continuous improvement. I'm good at multiplying the value of the time I spend, and there are a few areas where I feel fast, too. I want to figure out just the right tempo for things – not slower than I need to be, but not faster than I can, while erring on the side of underpromising. I think this might be useful for me in the long run. Let's see!

What makes my week satisfying?

Posted: - Modified: | time

It makes sense to reflect on time in week-long chunks instead of day by day. A span of 24 hours is dominated by sleep and childcare, but over the 168 hours of a week, I might have enough discretionary time to feel more balanced.

What makes a week satisfying? How can I prepare so that I can enjoy satisfying weeks more often?

Enough rest to engage A- with energy and responsiveness
Mostly this is about being in tune with myself and understanding my energy levels, so I can make better decisions about staying up late or being on my phone while A- nurses. It’s also good to not be distracted by other needs or desires, so I can be more present.
A couple of walks and baby activities
I prefer to stay home when it’s cold and windy, which is okay. When the weather is mild, we usually go to neighbourhood centres so that A- can play with different toys and be around other people. As the weather warms up and A- grows, we’ll expand our range.
Little stories to share with W-, especially involving close observation
Helped by energy and rest. Can encourage this by planning activities as well as following A-‘s interests. This will get even better as A- grows, of course.
Contributions to household maintenance
Sometimes cooking, if I can pull it off while W- is around. Might be better to focus on cleaning and groceries, though, since those fit better into our current routines.
Relaxed conversations with W- during evening playtime with A-
Helped by stories and finished chores.
An updated journal and weekly review
Caught up every couple of days, if needed. Helped by text notes and by doing interesting things.
Emacs News posted
Monday or Tuesday discretionary time. Pretty straightforward, but I need to spend about 45 minutes of computer time on it.
Yummy food, no mealtime scrambling
Could use a little work here. We’ll probably make this smoother as we figure out a new rhythm, especially with batch cooking.
A little consulting that helps my clients a lot
Helped by having well-defined, useful, tiny chunks. Best done late at night, maybe sleeping in a bit the next day.
Thinking through stuff using my phone, not just reading social media updates
The payoff for reading social media is mostly chatting with W- about tidbits, occasionally interacting, and sometimes hearing about interesting things. Not that much, so I don’t have to scroll down the feeds looking for more. Writing is better for me, although I sometimes get stuck if I haven’t balanced it with some discretionary time for doing things. There’s always more to write and plan, though.
Maybe even a couple of blog posts, a bit of code, or a small improvement
Helped by thinking on my phone and by having clear, motivating questions.
Stretching
Helped by doing the routine together with W-.

Last week was a satisfying week. If I put some thought into it, I might be able to have even more of them. :) Some things are outside my control, but I can probably stack the deck. Hmm…

More thoughts on the timing of discretionary time

Posted: - Modified: | parenting, time

W- is thinking of shifting his discretionary time for side projects to early morning, before he heads out to work. That way, he can tackle it with more energy and enjoy making steady progress. I’ve been planning for my discretionary time in the evening, after A- goes to bed. It might be nice to experiment with setting an early alarm and staying in sync with W-. I’ve tried one-offs here and there and A- generally ended up waking along with me, so I didn’t get time for other things. If I do it consistently, though, she’ll probably shift her bedtime earlier.

The main thing that gets shifted around on my end is the journal, since that’s natural to do at the end of the day. The quick notes I take on my phone will probably be enough, though. Alternatively, I could split it up: sleep after my journal, and then wake up and so other things.

So, how can I ease into this? If I prioritize sleeping during her naps for a couple of days, that should make it easier to wake up early. A- will adjust her own naps based on her energy. This is a good time to try it, anyway – no major appointments coming up, so we can adjust as needed. I think W- wanted to start being up by 5 or even earlier. Bonus: electricity is cheaper.

We’ll see if A-‘s okay with my slipping away early in the morning. If not, maybe I’ll find my discretionary time somewhere else in the day. No worries! I’d like at least enough time for my journal and for Emacs News, so that’s about half an hour to an hour. Interruptible and can be deferred a day or two, so the time is pretty easy to find. Most of the other things can wait if need. The next big chunk is probably filing our personal taxes some time in March or April, but I should be able to find enough focused time in that period. Who knows, maybe A-‘s sleep patterns will have changed by then. We’ll see!