I like re-planning when things are a little bit clearer and when things change. It's nice to take a look at where I am, where I might get to, and maybe what I can do with more reinvestment.

A year still feels a little abstract. A 12-week span might be interesting for concrete goal-setting and momentum; maybe something to experiment. In any case, here's a small achievement list I can work towards…

1. Development
   • Propose a calendar of prototypes with business-value descriptions
   • Design prototype and help team members write it instead of coding it myself
   • Think syntactically
2. Reporting
   • Make Tableau reports snappy
   • Identify business questions for a valuable regular report
   • Analyze my own data in R
3. Writing: Put together the intermediate Emacs config guide
4. Drawing: Sketch people quickly
5. Cooking: Map the families of recipes I want to try, and try them
6. Learning: Map the things I know and what I want to learn, and maybe find a coach
7. Tracking: Do grocery tracking in Quantified Awesome
8. Making: Sew those box cushion covers
9. Organizing house stuff
   • Simplify wardrobe
   • Tile floor
10. Biking: Maybe bike in winter
11. Pet care: Get Luke used to the toothbrush
12. Exercise: Do the exercise ladder for twelve weeks
13. Relationship: Work on more projects together
14. Community:
    • Set up Emacs hangout experiment
    • Hang out at Hacklab during winter

We'd been letting some vegetables and cooked food go to waste, so I've been tinkering with how we prepare our meals in order to reduce spoilage. Here's how we now cook in bulk.

During the weekend, we review the past week's leftovers and freeze them as individual meals. We packaging food in individual lunch-sized containers (~500g, including rice) until the freezer is full or the fridge leftovers are done. I label the containers using painter's tape and a marker, writing down the initials of the recipe and a number for the month. For example, chicken curry prepared in July is labeled CC7.

I prepare one or two types of dinners. I usually pick bulk recipes based on what's on sale at the supermarket. If there are unused groceries from the previous week (sometimes I end up not cooking things), I prepare a recipe that can use those up: curry, soup, etc. I start a large pot of rice, too, since I'm likely to use that up when packing individual meals and we go through a lot of rice during the week. We're more likely to enjoy the variety if it's spread out over the coming weeks. Freezing the leftovers means we can avoid spoiling food out of procrastination.

After the food is cooked, I put portions into our large glass containers. That way, we have a little room to cook fresh dinners during the week (which W- likes to do), but we also have some backups in case things get busy. We alternate the prepared dinners for variety. For some meals that are inefficient to portion out, I just keep the entire pot in the fridge. If there's more, I'll freeze the rest as individual portions. If the freezer is full, I'll keep the extras in the fridge.

When it comes to the freezer, individual portions are much more convenient than larger portions. You can take one to work and microwave it for lunch. Sometimes I pack larger portions (ex: pizza, pasta sauce), so we need to plan for that when defrosting them. If a dinner portion is thawed in the fridge, it has to get eaten since it can't be refrozen (unless we re-cook it, which we rarely do).

Our costs tend to be between $1.50 and $3 per portion. For example, the Thai curry I made last time resulted in 20 portions out of $22.39 of groceries. Even if you account for the spices and rice in our pantry, it still comes to a pretty frugal (and yummy!) meal. Sure, there's labour and electricity, but I enjoy cooking and we schedule it for the lower electricity rates of the weekend. Well worth it for us, and we're working on getting even better at it.

Aside from reducing spoilage, I'm also working on increasing variety, maybe cooking smaller batches and cooking more often during the week. I'd still like to use the freezer to spread out meals over an even longer period of time so that we can enjoy different tastes. Getting the hang of spices, ingredient combinations, and cooking techniques will help me with variety, too. So much to learn! =)

Routines are like solidified learning, the habits shaped by little pay-offs. You make all these decisions one at a time, and as you find things that work, they get absorbed into your routines.

I love having fairly stable routines. They minimize thinking and allow me to estimate time well. For example, my regular breakfast is rice and one fried egg, so it's easy to make sure I've got both in stock. My morning routine takes me about an hour from the time I wake up to the time I head out on my bicycle or go to the subway station, although I can compress it by skipping blogs and having cereal instead of rice and egg. It takes me about fifty minutes to get downtown. My evening routine involves an early dinner (heating up stuff from the fridge), some exercise, cleaning up, and some writing or drawing. My weekends are a little more flexible. As long as groceries, cooking, laundry, and tidying up happen, we'll be set for the next week.

I have a lot of routines, but I don't want them to ossify. I like turning my attention on one routine at a time, being mindful during it, looking for little ways to tweak it. For example, there are lots of ways I could tweak my evening routine, especially during jogging days. If I make the sequence dinner-tidy-read-jog-exercise-litterbox-shower-snack-draw, I think that would work out better in terms of winding down – less waiting for my hair to dry. I If I can juggle the timing so that the jog happens before the library closes, bonus!

I'm tweaking my thinking/drawing/writing routines too, so I expect some growing pains – things might get a little weirder before they become smoother. It's good to anticipate this, because otherwise you get stuck at a local maximum instead of being able to explore. In particular, I'm experimenting with drawing more reflections during the week, and then using them as springboards for writing during the weekend. This should spread out my computer use a little bit, encourage me to practise drawing, and possibly lead to interesting places.

It's fun to be deliberate about your habits. You get to ask yourself, “Why do I do things that way, and in that sequence? How can I experiment with this?”

Through writing, I want to:

• Learn more effectively and efficiently by taking notes and chunking my thoughts
• Understand and be able to articulate what I'm thinking
• Keep notes for future reflection and time travel
• Connect with people who have similar interests
• Help other people save time

I'm pretty happy with how I'm doing this so far, although it would be even better if I could write more efficiently and effectively. What would that look like, and how could I move towards that?

I pick up a lot of information from reading and from trying things out. If I spend more time reviewing notes and experimenting with concepts, that will help me get more out of the time that I spend reading. Wouldn't be neat if my personal stash of quotes (my digital commonplace books) linked each note with a blog post reflecting on what I found interesting about it, how I've applied it, and what it's related to? I think that would be handy.

Sometimes I find myself particularly interested in an idea, and writing is easy. Other times, the spark isn't quite there, or the kindling is scattered. I have a massive outline/list of things to write about. Sometimes it seems a little odd writing about stuff, though. Lackluster? But maybe giving myself different recipes for blog posts can help (a personal story, a book quote, etc.). I can also look at it as practice. I have years and years to write, and I can learn a lot when I practise deliberately and dispassionately.

For reflection and review, I can write regular snapshots of what's going on in my life and what I'm trying to figure out. These usually give me enough anchors to remember more.

To make it easier to connect with other people, I can ask people if they blog, and I can post more of my personal stories on my blog.

I've been writing more selfishly rather than focusing on saving people time, but I'm sure that balance will shift at some point too. I tend to find it easy to blog helpful things when I'm immersed in projects or in answering people's questions, so it's probably just a matter of focusing on open source again.

As I write more, I'll get faster, and I might even get clearer. :) I can build on what I've previously written. I'll get a better sense of what I like and don't like in writing, and I'll experiment with the influences of other writers.

So let's say that it takes me about an hour or two to follow a thought and write it down. I'm not really looking for speed here. I don't need to be able to crank one out in fifteen minutes. It might be good to be able to work in small chunks (headline, outline, snippets) to take advantage of the moments that come up during a day. It would also be good to be able to work coherently – to build up to more complex thoughts, to untangle harder questions. That's probably what better writing looks like for me. As for beauty form and flow, I can probably pick that up through analysis and practice, but it's somewhat reassuring to know that people can think (and share) complex thoughts despite being inelegant writers. (Almost impenetrable, even!)

How do I want to change how I write? Well, I can use my phone more, writing instead of reading when I have a free moment on the go. If I feel a little blah when writing at my computer, I can open my book notes and expound on a passage. I can also pick something from my outline and sketch out the next level, tell a story, or look for ways to test it in life (and add a reminder to come back and write about the results). I can embrace the way that many of my blog posts are more like “here's where I am, there's where I'd like to go, here's what I'm going to try” rather than fonts of wisdom. Hey, maybe it will be amusing (or even useful) looking back, forty years from now. We'll see!

One of the ideas I'm mulling over from this study of ancient Greek philosophy is this: Instead of using willpower to get through things you don't like, you can learn to appreciate the things that are good for you or gradually move up through activities that you enjoy and that are a little better for you than what you were doing before.

I've been trying this idea in terms of exercise. Having decided that I would be the type of person who exercises, I've been keeping up this habit for a little over a month. I usually run with W-. He treats those sessions as recovery runs (he's much fitter than I am and can run circles around me), and I treat them as “extra time with W- and an occasion for smugness.” I'm not yet at the point of experiencing the runner's high, but I do feel somewhat pleased by this ability to keep up with the heart rate thresholds that should help me build up endurance. I've even gone for runs on my own, propelled by growing custom and the knowledge that I'm going to be able to celebrate whatever progress I'm making. Gradual progress through the Hacker's Diet exercise ladder is fun, too.

In terms of food, I'm finally beginning to appreciate the sourness of yogurt, the peppery taste of radishes, and other things I'm still not particularly fond of but can deal with.

As for substitution, keeping a range of nonfiction books in the house means I'm less inclined to spend time playing video games. Latin and Japanese flashcards on my phone mean less time reading fiction. A file full of writing ideas means less time spent browsing the Web.

We change a little at a time. It's good to pay attention to your changing tastes, and to influence them towards what's good for you. Sometimes you can kick it off with a little bribery or willpower, if you use that temporary space to look for more things to appreciate. Sometimes you can encourage yourself by making better activities more convenient. Good to keep growing!

When I'm excited, I say about 200 words per minute. The recommended rate for persuasive speech is in the range of 140-160wpm, although studies differ on whether faster speech is more persuasive or if slower speech is. (Apparently, it depends on the context and whether people are inclined to agree with you…) It's good to be flexible, though. I'm getting used to speaking slower. In the videos I've been making, I experiment with a lower voice, a slower pace, a more relaxed approach. When I record, I imagine the people I know who speak at the rate I want to use. I “hear” them say things, and then I mimic that.

I've been talking to a lot of people because of Google Helpouts and other online conversations. I help them with topics that they're not familiar. Sometimes there are network or technical issues. I've been learning to slow down and to check often for understanding.

I think the biggest difference came from software feedback, though. I did the voiceovers for a series of videos. My natural rate was too fast, even when I tried reading at a slower rate. I adjusted the tempo in Audacity and found that I still sounded comfortable at 90% of my usual speed. The sound quality wasn't amazing, but it was interesting to listen to myself at a slower rate and still recognize that as me.

It's funny how there are all sorts of mental hacks that can help me play with this. I find it fascinating when a person's normal pace is faster than the average pace I've been nudging myself towards. I'm not used to being the slower conversationalist, but it's kinda cool.

I still like speed. I do some bandwidth-negotiation in conversations. I ramp up if other people look like they can take it. But it's nice to know that I don't have to rule out podcasting or things like that. I can slow down when it counts, so that what I'm saying sounds easier to try, seems less intimidating. It's the auditory version of sketchnoting, I guess. Sketchnotes help me make complex topics, so it makes sense to do the same when speaking.

Hmm, maybe I can transcribe my recent videos and recalculate my words per minute…

… though I sometimes amuse myself with suggesting and arranging such little elegant compliments as may be adapted to ordinary occasions, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible.

Mr. Collins in Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)

After three successive weekends (three!) with parties, I want to think about small talk and how I can tweak it. Small talk is unavoidable, but there are things you can do to nudge it one way or another. I like having conversations that move me or other people forward, even if it's just by a little bit.

So, what do I want to do with small talk?

• Help other people feel comfortable enough to open up about some memorable interest or quirk
• Find topics of common interest for further conversation
• Find a way to help or a reason to follow up

We could do the ritualistic weather/profession/how-do-you-know-the-host conversations, or we could change the level of the conversation so that it goes beyond the repetitive gestures that only skim the surface. I could chat as a way of passing time (possibly bumping into interesting thoughts along the way), or I can more deliberately check for things I'm interested in while staying open to the serendipity of random connections. What do I want to be able to frequently do through conversation?

• Identify possible meetup or global community members – reassure them that this is a thing and that lots of people are interested in it; point people to resources (Emacs, QS, visual thinking)
• Talk shop with other geeks to find out about tech and business things worth looking into
• Other geeks (non-tech): learn more about different fields
• Non-geeks: See if there's anything I can help with easily (books? ideas?)

I could either dig into people's interests or be memorable enough so that people look me up afterwards. Many people open up about their interests only when they feel comfortable. What makes people feel more comfortable? It helps to establish a sense of similarity and shared understanding.

People have different strategies for establishing similarity. I know a few people who use the “You look really familiar…” approach (even if the other person doesn't) because rattling off schools, companies, associations, and interests tends to reveal something in common.

I like building on stuff I've overheard or asking questions about common context. That's one of the reasons why I like events with presentations more than events that are focused only on networking – the presentation gives us something to start talking about.

In terms of helping people get to know me and find topics of shared interest, I use short disclosures with high information value.

Consulting: “I'm a consultant” has low information value: it's vague and it wouldn't establish much similarity even if the other person was also a consultant. I rarely use it unless I'm tired, I want to shift the focus back on the other person quickly, or I sense they're also going through the motions. (Or I want to see at what point their eyes glaze over…)

Emacs: “I'm working on some Emacs projects” has high information value when talking to tech geeks, almost like a secret handshake that lets us shift the conversation. (I talk faster, go into more detail, and use more jargon when talking to fellow geeks, so it's almost like the 56kbps modem handshake.) I'm female, I don't wear geeky T-shirts, and I don't work for a technical company or in a technical position, so it helps to verbally establish geek cred quickly without making a big deal out of it.

Data analysis: For geeks of other fields, Emacs is low-information, but Quantified Self and data analysis seems to be a good way to establish that similarity quickly. It works well with people who are interested in science, tech, engineering, math, or even continuous improvement. Litter box analysis is surprisingly engaging as a cocktail party topic, or at least it's easy to for people to ask follow-up questions about if they want to.

Sketchnoting: People (including most of the ones who don't identify as geeks) tend to be curious about my sketchnoting, since it's visual, easy to understand, and uncommon. That said, I need to get better at handling the usual follow-ups. People tend to say things like “You draw so well” or “I could never do something like that.” I want to nip that in the bud and get people to realize that they can do this too. Pointing out that I draw stick figures like a 5-year-old doesn't seem to do the trick (“Ah, but you know what to leave out” and “But you're doing this while listening – that's hard”). Maybe a little humour, poking fun at the idea of going to an art school that specializes in stick figures or learning how to not fall asleep in presentations? About one in fifty people I talk to recognizes this as something they do on their own or that they want to do, and it's good to link them up with the global community. For most people, though, I feel slightly more comfortable focusing on ideas they want t olearn more about and sending them sketchnotes if there's a fit.

Semi-retirement: This experiment with semi-retirement can be a good conversational hook for prompting curiosity. It usually follows this sequence: semi-retired -> “aren't you a little young? what do you mean?” -> tracked, saved up, experimenting. It tends to be too detached from people's lives, though – many people don't think they can pull it off, even experienced freelancers who are doing most of it already.

Variety: If I don't know how someone identifies, it's fun to answer the “What do you do?” question (which tries to pigeonhole someone into a neatly understandable job title) with a sense of variety: “I do a lot of different things! This week, I …”

Going forward

For the next few events, I think I'll experiment with doing the tech/non-tech/non-geek identification earlier, or going into that with an opening based on variety. I could name an example each for tech, non-tech, and non-geek, and see which one they dig into. As for digging into people's interests, maybe an open-ended survey-type question would be an interesting way to help people open up while still collecting data in case people haven't thought about how to make themselves easier to get to know. Hmm…

Small talk might be small, but if I have thousands of conversations over the years, I might as well keep learning from it. How have you tweaked how you do small talk?