Perk up your Mondays by doing (at least) one nice thing!
And why wait for Mondays? Do a nice thing for someone any time. It's particularly good for perking yourself up when you feel unhappy or for sharing your joy when you're on top of the world.
Whether you have a business card collection that fills a bookshelf or you're trying to become comfortable with meeting new people, one way to get much more value and happiness out of networking is to proactively make things happen instead of waiting for them to occur. Here's how:
Make things happen. Find out what people around you want or need, and look for ways you can help them grow. Life is a lot more fun that way!
For backstory, check out The power of proactively networking
On Technorati: networking, social
I've reached another turning point in my life, another coming of age. I've realized the power of proactive networking, and I have a feeling that it's going to change my life.
You see, I used to shy away from networking because I couldn't think of how I could add value to the conversation or what I could take away. I went to a few networking events before I got tired of being given the once-over by schmoozers who moved on when they realized that I couldn't give them any deals or opportunities. As a student, what could I offer? And what could I ask them for? I didn't want to waste their time, didn't want to prevent them from meeting other people they could deal with.
I was insecure. That was exactly how I felt when I moved to Canada from the Philippines, torn away from *my* network and suddenly back at the bottom of the totem pole. I didn't believe I could offer any value, and so I couldn't.
Over the past year and after so many conversations and books, though, I think I've finally found myself—and I can't believe that I hadn't realized this earlier.
How did I go about it? I credit two books with sparking a particularly large number of aha! moments: Keith Ferrazzi's "Never Eat Alone" and Tim Sanders' "Love is the Killer App." Both books taught me that my love of reading and learning could be valuable to other people, so I had something to start with. My interest in other people helps them discover more about life and themselves—another reason why people enjoy sharing their insights with me. I give people an opportunity to help, and in so doing, they grow as well. All I need to do is ask.
As I practiced the suggestions in these books, I found it easier and easier - and more and more fun. I discovered that by consciously reaching out, I could enrich my life and the lives of people around me.
I don't think of it as my "network", not in the cold and calculating sense of just wanting to add more nodes to a graph. No, these are people whom I want to help grow and who care about my growth.
And last night, I realized something amazing: the power of proactivity, of making things happen instead of waiting for things to occur.
After a wonderful conversation about all sorts of topics including the meaning of life, the challenges of entrepreneurship, and the joy of networking, I asked my seven guests point-blank what they wanted and how I could help them succeed. They told me—and my mind kicked into high gear, thinking of whom I could introduce to them and what I could help them with.
*This* is one of the things I'm not only good at, but I love doing. Perhaps this is one of the things that I am meant to do. I've jokingly described how I enjoy stuffing large amounts of information into my brain in order to bring out one or two relevant items when people need them. I've applied it in geeky contexts before: familiarizing myself with a list of open source packages (all of Debian, at one point) helped me recommend just the right package for Jijo Sevilla when he was working on a point-of-sale system, while my background in computer science helped me tell Simon exactly which keywords he should use to find a good algorithm for a feature he wants to include in his product.
I want to do it with people, too. I want to keep people's wants and haves in mind. I *love* making those connections.
This was one of Sam Watkins' brilliant ideas, some years ago: write down your wants and haves on your card, and exchange this with others. OpenBC is a social networking site that's playing around with the idea, too, which is why I like OpenBC a lot. The key point is: proactively find out what people want / have, and make those connections happen!
One of the difficulties I had was figuring out how to keep in touch with people, how to do followup. Followup is incredibly important. Proactively choosing to make things happen makes it really easy to follow up and exercise those networking muscles. Every person I meet and every conversation I have has the potential to reactivate old connections, and I want to review old connections to find out what I can help them with now. If they're in my network, it's because I think they're cool and I want them to succeed - and we'll keep growing together!
That gives me even more confidence when it comes to meeting other people. I now bring *lots* of value to the conversation. Sure, I'm not a CEO or even someone with decision-making power. Even as a student, though, I can help people succeed. I've been told I have interesting ideas and that I'm a good listener. I love asking questions and having conversations. And I know lots of really cool people. I want to know more peopl because the more people I know, the more interconnections I can make and the more stories I can tell.
"Your network is your net worth," said Tim Sanders - and mine is growing. I care about the people in it. I want them to succeed. I want to learn from all these interesting people - strangers, acquaintances, friends. That gives me the chutzpah I need to walk up to someone I've never met - the power of proactive networking.
On Technorati: networking, social
Tim Sanders has an insightful post on thinking of tasks as either glass, metal, or rubber. From his blog post:
- If I drop an action item made of glass, something gets broken. It has a guaranteed negative outcome not to do it.
- If I drop and action item made of metal, nothing gets broken — but there will be plenty of noise and maybe even a dent claimed.
- If I drop an action item made of rubber, it will will probably bounce either back to the tasker or to the right person. This is probabaly an action item that is either silly or not my role.
Mondays are the best days to deal with "glass" things, he says, and people should minimize the number of glass things they're juggling at a time.
Come to think of it, my life is like that. It's not just a matter of keeping all of the balls in the air, satisfying all the responsibilities - there's never going to be enough time for that! I have to think about which responsibilities I don't really need to take on, things that can bounce to someone else...
On Technorati: productivity, lifehack
A chance encounter with Daniel Chmielewski at BarCampEarthToronto led to a conversation about the Philippines and an introduction to Kevin Beckford, one of Dan's friends who is in the Philippines right now. I asked him how he ended up in Cebu, and he said:
I came here from Hong Kong, I was doing a contract there. While there, I could not help but notice the filipinas in causeway bay. Upon talking to them, I noticed that they all seemed to really love the philippines. I said: "What the hell am I doing in Hong Kong, which I am not fond of, when everyone I meet from this country loves it?" So i came here to cebu and just lived here... did some offshore contracts for cash and now i'm (weeps) getting ready to leave. I do work with php/perl/java/groovy ( php as little as possible ) and some admin things. I am currently hacking drupal code right now YES NOW because I'm trying to get something working according to my desire....
I'll really miss this place though. If I had known it was this good, i would have targeted here instead of just dropping in for the year. Ah well. Who knows what the future holds ?
These are stories that need to be told.
E-Mail from Kevin
On Technorati: philippines
Sacha Chua
enterprise social computing consultant, storyteller, author, geek
sacha@sachachua.com136
http://sachachua.com137
Currently: Toronto, Canada
Originally: Manila, Philippines
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